It’s day three of our True Detective marathon! We last left Colin Ferrell in a bloody heap with shotgun wounds all over his body, but don’t worry nothing comes of that. Also, there’s lots of police investigation stuff, but nothing comes of that either. Not coming is also a major theme.
Did you know that “Scream” and “Scream Queens” are two entirely different TV series? Well, maybe not ENTIRELY different. Rumor is Jamie Lee Curtis showed up for the first three weeks of shooting on the wrong show before anyone noticed.
God keeps throwing tornadoes at the good Christian people of Texas rather than targeting his vengeance directly at those bastard Supreme Court Justices causing all the problems. What’s up with that, a 700 Club viewer wants to know.
Our True Detective Season 2 marathon continues with a recap a day until we catch up. This week, proof that guns don’t kill people. Or at least not people whose names appear in the opening credits. Better luck next time, bird-face!
Somewhere in Alabamy, a drama queen called Bob k. became so ENRAGED by Caitlyn Jenner’s getting an ESPN Courage Award that he shot his TV with a gun, videoed it, and put it on the YouTube in the hopes of starting a movement.
Nearly half of today’s children 12 and under think being forced to watch cable TV is punishment, but they also think yogurt is something you drink from a tube. There’s really no winners here.
HNTP is taking on True Detective! One recap a day until we catch up! Please welcome our new recapper Joannes Truyens to the fold as we kick off Season 2 of TV’s most existentially depressing cop show since The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo.
Top 3 Most Popular “My Little Pony” Characters on Porn Sites (#2 Will Shock You!)
Season 1 of Wayward Pines ends with both a bang and a whimper. The human race at the height of its power and technology couldn’t stop the rise of the mutant aberrations, but they can’t handle one unfrozen dude with one backpack of C4? Bulls#*t.
How much money would you shell out for the rights to “Do the Bartman”? If it’s more than you’ve got in your couch cushions right now, we’re about to prove your entire childhood was a lie. Step inside and let us disillusion you.
“It is quite likely that [Captain] Kirk is a Republican,” says Sen. Ted Cruz, who claims to be quite the Trekkie. Could he be right??? HNTP examines the evidence.
Apparently the secret to staying alive in Deutschland 83 is not to be remotely competent at the whole spying thing, because those who are keep sacrificing themselves for those who aren’t. More death, betrayal, and prostitutes in this week’s recap.
YouTube now has more viewers in the demo than any cable network and is raking in $4 billion a year… and yet can’t make a profit. How is that possible?
How is it that an anthropomorphic cartoon horse can be one of the most realistic portrayals of depression on television? And, as impressive of a feat as that is, is that something we should want to watch?
Miramax is reportedly going up for sale for $1 billion, and since it’s got a TV division, we figure it’s ripe for the pickin’ for HNTP. All we need is for each of you, our loyal friends and supporters, to kick in a little something, Kickstarter-style.
Disgraced Televangelist Jim Bakker Still Alive, Still Disgraceful
HNTP presents: Life Lessons for White People. Today’s class: Subtle signs that the smiling, laughing, self-effacing black man in front of you might be making a joke, even if he uses a bad word.
How the hell did it take three seasons for Tatiana Maslany to get her first Emmy nomination? Sister should be holding all six nods for all six characters. Only HNTP has an inside look at how the whole Clone Club is celebrating.
Rejoice stay-at-home parents and unemployed slackers and sick day takers everywhere! Regis has heard your prayers and accendeth once again to your TV to sit at the right hand of Kathie Lee.
After finally getting his wife and ex-tootsie on the same page, Ethan discovers they don’t call them “mad” scientists for nothing. And there’s something to that “children of the damned” phrase, too. The penultimate Wayward Pines recap has arrived.