Tagged: Crap Fantasy

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VIDEO: The Black Cauldron (1985)

Joey finds out if this is really Disney’s worst animated film! With a reputation of being made when Disney was at its lowest point, The Black Cauldron is a fantasy adventure with obnoxious characters, cop-out endings, and archetypes we’ve seen done to death.

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The Return of the King (1980) (part 8 of 8)

“His approach is cut short as he sees the reason a swarm of Orcs hasn’t gotten around to curb-stomping him into oblivion: they’re all dead. Naturally, we get a monologue explaining this, and I think even the five year olds watching at this point are probably going, ‘Move it along, goddammit, I got shit to do today!’”

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The Return of the King (1980) (part 7 of 8)

“His approach is cut short as he sees the reason a swarm of Orcs hasn’t gotten around to curb-stomping him into oblivion: they’re all dead. Naturally, we get a monologue explaining this, and I think even the five year olds watching at this point are probably going, ‘Move it along, goddammit, I got shit to do today!’”

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The Return of the King (1980) (part 6 of 8)

“His approach is cut short as he sees the reason a swarm of Orcs hasn’t gotten around to curb-stomping him into oblivion: they’re all dead. Naturally, we get a monologue explaining this, and I think even the five year olds watching at this point are probably going, ‘Move it along, goddammit, I got shit to do today!’”

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The Return of the King (1980) (part 5 of 8)

“His approach is cut short as he sees the reason a swarm of Orcs hasn’t gotten around to curb-stomping him into oblivion: they’re all dead. Naturally, we get a monologue explaining this, and I think even the five year olds watching at this point are probably going, ‘Move it along, goddammit, I got shit to do today!’”

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The Return of the King (1980) (part 4 of 8)

“His approach is cut short as he sees the reason a swarm of Orcs hasn’t gotten around to curb-stomping him into oblivion: they’re all dead. Naturally, we get a monologue explaining this, and I think even the five year olds watching at this point are probably going, ‘Move it along, goddammit, I got shit to do today!’”

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The Return of the King (1980) (part 3 of 8)

“His approach is cut short as he sees the reason a swarm of Orcs hasn’t gotten around to curb-stomping him into oblivion: they’re all dead. Naturally, we get a monologue explaining this, and I think even the five year olds watching at this point are probably going, ‘Move it along, goddammit, I got shit to do today!’”

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The Return of the King (1980) (part 2 of 8)

“His approach is cut short as he sees the reason a swarm of Orcs hasn’t gotten around to curb-stomping him into oblivion: they’re all dead. Naturally, we get a monologue explaining this, and I think even the five year olds watching at this point are probably going, ‘Move it along, goddammit, I got shit to do today!’”

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The Return of the King (1980) (part 1 of 8)

“His approach is cut short as he sees the reason a swarm of Orcs hasn’t gotten around to curb-stomping him into oblivion: they’re all dead. Naturally, we get a monologue explaining this, and I think even the five year olds watching at this point are probably going, ‘Move it along, goddammit, I got shit to do today!’”

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VIDEO: The Last Airbender (2010)

Joey brings us the first installment in a special series called Crossing the Line, where he examines live action movies based on cartoons. First up is M. Night Shyamalan’s take on the popular Nicktoon Avatar: The Last Airbender. Here’s the twist: It sucks!