Tagged: Bryce Dallas Howard

VIDEO: Lady in the Water (2006)

The Slob begins a special series of reviews called The M. Night Before Christmas, where he looks at the films of the internet’s favorite punching bag, M. Night Shyamalan! First up, Lady in the Water, starring Paul Giamatti as a crazy super who finds Bryce Dallas Howard in a pool, and discovers she’s a mythical mermaid-thing who’s come to protect the savior of humanity, cleverly played by Shyamalan himself!

VIDEO: Spider-Man 3 (2007)

Continuing his look at superhero movies, the Slob checks out Sam Raimi’s finale to his Spider-Man trilogy! Unfortunately, something dark and mysterious lurks in the shadows of this review, as the Slob is transformed by a strange goo. What does this mean for his defense of Spider-Man 3? Watch and find out!

VIDEO: The Help (2011)

Emma Stone is a White Savior character in 1960s Mississippi who writes a book about the black maids in town (Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer), which makes all the white people in town feel bad about racism. It also makes a buttload of money for Emma, while leaving the maids worse off then before. Whoops!

VIDEO: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)

Michael A. Novelli steps up to host the Movie Skewer and take over our coverage of the Twilight Saga: the continuing misadventures of a vacant, passive high school girl, the creepy vampire who controls her, and the werewolf/rapist-in-training who comes between them! In the third installment, Bella and Edward are engaged, which pisses off Jacob, while Victoria organizes an army of “newborn” vampires to kill Bella and get revenge on Edward. So yeah, pretty much the same plot as New Moon, only this time they pay Bryce Dallas Howard to stand around and do nothing.”

Razzie Weekend 2007, Part 1: Lady in the Water, Little Man

I’ve been promising to do this for years, but for some reason I just never get around to it. Well, I’m sure one reason is the idea of sitting through five awful films in the space of one weekend is enough to make me go, hmm, don’t I have some toilet scrubbing to do? But as one of the preeminent Bad Movie-ologists on the web (and by the web, I mean my own mind), I felt it was necessary to at least poke my head up from my steady diet of awful cinema of the ’60s, ’70s, and ’80s. It was time to discover the State of the Bad Movie in 2006.