Tagged: Based on the Best-Selling Book

VIDEO: The Help (2011)

Emma Stone is a White Savior character in 1960s Mississippi who writes a book about the black maids in town (Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer), which makes all the white people in town feel bad about racism. It also makes a buttload of money for Emma, while leaving the maids worse off then before. Whoops!

VIDEO: Holes (2003)

Shia LaBeouf is teenager Stanley Yelnats (geddit?), who’s falsely accused of a crime and sentenced to a concentration camp juvenile detention camp where the kids are forced to dig holes each day. Meanwhile, in flashback, we learn how Stanley’s entire family was cursed by Eartha Kitt, and how Patricia Arquette was a notorious bandit back in the 1800s.

VIDEO: Atlas Shrugged: Part I (2011)

At long last, it’s the movie adaption of Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged, now a Tea Partier’s wet dream! The VP of the country’s most important railroad and the owner of the country’s most important steel company join forces to save the economy and answer the burning question (and meme-before-memes-were-a-thing): Who is John Galt?

VIDEO: The Golden Compass (2007)

Ryan hosts another episode of the Movie Skewer to look at The Golden Compass, based on a novel near and dear to him. New Line scrubbed away the book’s anti-Christian themes when they adapted it into a movie, along with all traces of anything dark or disturbing. Watch as Ryan examines the end result: a bland movie-by-committee where nothing is at stake.

VIDEO: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)

Michael A. Novelli steps up to host the Movie Skewer and take over our coverage of the Twilight Saga: the continuing misadventures of a vacant, passive high school girl, the creepy vampire who controls her, and the werewolf/rapist-in-training who comes between them! In the third installment, Bella and Edward are engaged, which pisses off Jacob, while Victoria organizes an army of “newborn” vampires to kill Bella and get revenge on Edward. So yeah, pretty much the same plot as New Moon, only this time they pay Bryce Dallas Howard to stand around and do nothing.”

Return to Oz (1985) (part 5 of 5)

“Can’t say I really blame Aunt Em for wanting to strap Dorothy up to the electroshock machine. WTF kind of stuff is she telling people? Can’t Dorothy just tell them about the cute stuff, like the Lollipop Guild or whatever? I think if she had focused more on the non-creepy aspects of Oz, Aunt Em would be praising her for her creativity and imagination, not sending her off to Dr. Shocker, erm, Worley.”