Please stop bragging about your husband on Facebook

Please Stop Bragging About Your Husband On Facebook

When women brag on Facebook about having the “best hubby in the world,” I want to buy advance tickets and popcorn to their inevitable divorce. If you really and truly love your husband and you’re actually that happy, why do you need to show off? Is Facebook your own personal delusion billboard?

Like when did husbanding (as opposed to husbandry, something else entirely) become a competition in which your husband is suddenly The Greatest Of All Husbands simply because he exchanged paper money for shiny baubles or, I don’t know, fixed the shower head? And why do you need to send out a massive brag to your “friends”? If it’s such a big deal, can’t you just tell them over the phone or in person?

Why are you trying so desperately to convince the world that you are happy? It’s always the women whose relationships seem a little strained (or super fucked-up) who are the ones posting about having the BEST HUSBAND IN THE WORLD DAMMIT DON’T LOOK TOO CLOSE OR ASK ANY QUESTIONS JUST ACCEPT THAT OUR CREATED REALITY IS PERFECT BECAUSE I AM SHOVING IT IN YOUR FACE LIKE A JEWS FOR JESUS PAMPHLET!

Hey, I’m not immune to the charms of celebrating one’s love. If it’s your anniversary, by all means, declare your excitement. Here are some examples of fun ways in which to do so: “I’m so delighted to celebrate my anniversary with Jimbo. He is one cool dude.” “Me and Arnold are so happy to go to Cheesecake Factory tonight for our 10th! Woo hoo!” “The kids got up and made us pancakes for our 25th. They’re all surly, terrible teens so you know that means a lot to us.”

And let’s say you just got married. Aww, congratulations! In between posting 18,000 wedding photos of your family’s strained expressions (don’t forget the “wacky” one where everybody makes a silly face! This will show that your family is different from all other, lesser families who have taken this exact same photo!) you may wish to post a status that says something like, “What a wonderful wedding. Looking forward to marriage with my favorite person.” or just “I love Manolo and I’m so glad he is my husband now.” That’s nice. That’s sweet. That’s entirely understandable.

But this thing about the BEST husband — or “hubby,” ewww — has GOT to stop. What’s even worse is something like this: “Sorry ladies, the best man in the world is OFF the market. He’s mine!” Okay, psycho hose beast. Please don’t show up to your next Jazzercise class wearing his skin as a workout suit (if only because it really won’t absorb sweat well at all). Also, you are clearly the kind of woman who is going to stab me for being friends with your husband, so I will show myself the door. Bye-bye.

Look, I like my boyfriend very much. He is a very good person with many good qualities that I do not need to enumerate in detail on Facebook, because if you are my real-life friend, you know why I’m with this fellow, and if you’re not my real-life friend, why would you even care? You wouldn’t, which is why I’m not going to bore you with the details of my fondness for my chosen partner. See how that works? Everyone is happy! And if you’re like, “She just mad cause she ain’t married” — this may blow your mind, but I DO NOT WANT TO BE MARRIED RIGHT NOW. Some day, sure! But not right now. And that’s okay! I am not the best or the worst girlfriend/human/woman and that is okay too!

But enough about me.

I feel like some sort of lady Andy Rooney here, so I’ll stop soon. Ultimately, hypercompetitive wives freak me out because they are boring and empty, and boring and empty people are dangerous. They are dangerous because when they open their mouths at parties I die a little inside and fear I may pop a blood vessel from the strain of not rolling my eyes. If the most fascinating thing you’ve done in your life is get married, I am sorry for you and sad that you do not have a better and more exciting life. I recognize that it’s very nice indeed to meet the love of your life and get hitched (this is great!) but when it is the only interesting thing about you, you are not very interesting at all.

And your husband? Honestly, he’s probably just okay.

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  • Bellacheeka

    Thank you! This is why I don’t even talk about my husband at all on Facebook. He isn’t on there, and I can tell him how great he is in person, or even if he is irritating me today IN PERSON.

  • Jason M

    First of all, a big tip of the hat to Miss Sara Benincasa for milking about 800 words out of a Facebook Pet Peeve. Huzzah! As for the “lady Andy Rooney” thing, thanks for giving me a new go-to when I need to back away from early arrival in my boot-knocking. Move over ice cream and sick puppies, we have a new winnah!

  • goonemeritus

    Wouldn’t a more productive use of your time be writing moreadvice columns? There is general consensus that none of our marriages and/or affairs are going to make it if it’s left solely in our incapable hands.

  • Personally, I find the husband bragging a helpful antidote to the Salon-style “why can’t we find men who are perfect” posts and articles that litter the internet. Of course the husbands being boasted about aren’t “perfect.” Maybe they came with man-boobs or aren’t the snazziest dressers, but they are stable and loving and generous and appreciative and this sets a good example for the single gals still idiotically ruling out bald men and searching for the best six pack.

  • The Facebook brag posts that go right up my arse the most are the “I am so blessed” posts. Most annoying humble brag ever. It takes everything I have to not leave obnoxious comments about how God blessed this person with a new job, but lets kids in Third World countries starve to death or get blown up by suicide bombers. At least if they’re bragging about how great their husband is, they’re not whining about stupid shit.

    • Guest

      You are my hero today,

    • automaticpilot

      Exactly! What if you’re not blessed all the time? What if you’re just lucky?

      • It’s a good thing none of those kids dying of malaria have Facebook…or the Internet…or a computer…or electricity…or even a goddamn mosquito net.

    • hihello

      #blessed

  • Beth Tully

    I knew I loved you for a reason. Totes agree. Newlyweds get a year to make everyone sick, then please stick to anniversaries or expressions of gratitude for specific actions, like, “Flowers for no reason! How sweet!” that’s fine too.

  • Guest

    Well, this is better than that dumb faux haiku piece about Gary Oldman where SB couldn’t even correctly define the nature of a haiku. I remember when she used to be funny.

    • Jason M

      Sara’s super funny, it’s just the grind of these ridic deadlines she’s under. She’s obviously gotta quota that’s stepping on the quality.

    • Gustave188

      Gee, thank you for your fine opinion, guest.

  • Is this worse than baby pictures or not? Please post a list of things we are and are not allowed to; a. be happy about, b. post to social media, c. feel, d. do. I for one will be glad to finally have a credible authority on how to conduct my life so as not to upset anyone, ever.

    • BMW

      Wait…there are people who don’t like baby pictures?

      • Deleted

        This post was deleted.

        • Otto66

          Agree.

        • emmelemm

          Upvote.

      • andreamd

        I like real babies too. we had one in the museum today with the best smile- and she smiled a lot. I like pictures of peoples actual family and dogs and even cats

    • Sylvia McKinney

      I kind of agree with you. The people who post annoying stuff, I just ignore it. It’s their facebook. No matter what you post, someone is unhappy with it and it’s ridiculous.

    • Gustave188

      Just posted a hubby panegyric yesterday, huh?

      • InstaDerek

        +1 for “panegyric.”

  • BMW

    I think it translates to: “He did something nice for me he didn’t have to do so I am going to show my gratitude by bragging about him so I don’t have to blow him.”

    • Eh

      Best comment, yet. LOL or LALTS (laughed a little then stopped).

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      yet another reason to hate Mark Zuckerberg

      • glasspusher

        Why do I have a feeling I’ll never run out of those?

  • MissTaken

    According to the above the reason I haven’t been blessed with the perfect marriage to the perfect husband that I can brag about on Facebook yet is because I don’t drink enough Pepsi. Obviously water and tea keeps a girl single.

  • BadKel

    I couldn’t imagine caring less if my friends brag about their husbands. What’s wrong with sharing your happiness with friends and family?I wish I could find a partner that I could brag on like that. More power to them.

    • Daniel P

      So, um, I’m free for dinner….

      • BadKel

        haha…anywhere near CNY? 😉

        • Daniel P

          Project in Philly starts up mid summer. Could probably actually arrange this.

          • BadKel

            That would be fun!

    • Gustave188

      Maybe read the article a little better.

      • BadKel

        omg. you told me. has it been broughten? i feel like it was broughten.

  • Eh

    Eh, I could think of sadder things such as a bitter woman who whines (albeit comically) about first world problems. Let them be happy. You do you and let them do them. If it annoys you to the point where you have to write an article about it, maybe a shorter alternative solution is to unfriend/ unfollow.

    • lesterthegiantape

      Sometimes it’s almost as if writers are writing about things in order to explore an idea. Or maybe what they need is some advice — from you, for example.

      • Eh

        Sometimes it’s almost as if commenters comment because they have a different perspective. Take it easy buddy, no need to trample through all of our comments to defend your “writer.” We’re all doing her a favo by viewing the article anyways. But, please tell me, how great she is, again…

        • lesterthegiantape

          Your anger, it is so tiny and pink.

          • Eh

            Please great lesterthegianttape, tell us why anyone should be angry over petty issues? You’re obviously very worked up here.

      • Cindyinencinitas

        Here’s some advice: no whining in the limo.

  • Jennifer Marie Miller

    I love when somebody articulates something that has been bugging me for so long… I’ve been with my husband Dave for over 20 years now and, I think I tried to call him my “hubby” once but I choked on some vomit before I could get it out… :-pSeriously, though… I think the point of the article is simply to be real about your affection for someone. No I don’t call him hubby, but we do call each other “Schmoopie.” It’s not something we exactly made up (stolen from Seinfeld) but it is something we made part of our own personal lexicon many years ago… because we thought it was funny to make other people sick :-p It started as kind of a joke pet name but, over the years we’ve made it our own and a lot of times we even just say it out of habit :-pThe point is, to us, “Schmoopie” is real… it’s personal. Hubby is not. Hubby is generic. And it’s sad when marriage is generic… it’s one of the most personal things in the world! Also, I am grateful for many things in my life. I’m also aware of my and my life’s flaws. But, those flaws don’t make me less of a person. They just make me… a person. Nobody’s perfect and life is not a competition. I understand quite well the desire to feel special, but you won’t get that feeling through bragging.And yes, I’m still guilty of doing it myself sometimes… it’s one of my flaws :-p But, I try to remind myself to just BE a good, special person and the recognition will come. In fact, it’s the only way it will come. Bragging just makes other people sad… either because they believe the lie, or they think you do.

    • Pat_Pending

      I won’t even buy ‘Chubby Hubby’ Ben & Jerry’s because I hate ‘hubby’ so much.

      • LarryHoudini

        I had to read that twice to realize you weren’t heading for divorce court.

    • unclemike

      It’s not that personal. My girlfriend and I were calling each other that back in 1997. 😉

  • AnOuthouse

    PMS?

  • chibi

    yeah, there is a palpable difference between the normal life, spontaneous declarations and someone who is CONSTANTLY trying SO HARD to convince everything that everything is great. or maybe they are just trying to convince themselves.

  • Mahousu

    “Is Facebook your own personal delusion billboard?”Um, yeah. I think it’s even in their advertising material:

  • Otto66

    As a guy, if I dated, let alone married, someone who was over 21 and on Facebook, I seriously examine the my cognitive ability to make choices. MRI stat.

  • Brenda Szuszczewicz

    Only thing worse is the competitive mommy-ing. It reminds me why I did not like them in high school.

    • Cindyinencinitas

      Don’t forget competitive traveling. Oh, you went to Scotland? I’ve always wanted to go there but my ex was too cheap to take me. Thanks, bitch.

      • Penny Dreadful

        Please tell me how I managed to read that as “competitive time traveling.” Then I saw “Scotland,” and thought I must have somehow wandered into a discussion about Outlander. AGAIN.

  • KittySoft Paws Rolufs

    This kills me too. I really actually like it when couples seem to genuinelyappreciate each other and I occasionally brag when my boyfriend is particularly snarktastic, but the over the top, super sickeningly sweet, every damn day crap is all kinds of red flags that 48 Hours is going to be filming in your neck of the woods pretty soon.

  • borninatrailer

    But what if you are me, the actual best husband in the world?

    • Yep.

      If that’s true, then soon enough your Facebook profile will explode in a brilliant flash that outshines every other profile in the universe. Then, it will rip a hole in the spacetime continuum, and begin pulling Facebook in on itself. This will continue until all profiles crush themselves on the superdense ashes of your once-enormous digital persona. Eventually, everything that Facebook ever was will have been pulled into your orbit and then obscured beyond your event horizon (Best Event Horizon Ever). The end.

      • borninatrailer

        Oh, but my wife doesn’t go around announcing that on Facebook. She’s not an ass.

        • thepoliticalcat

          Thanks. *smooch*

    • andreamd

      Hugh, Hugh Jackman, is that you?

    • thepoliticalcat

      Hon, why the fuck are you posting here when you told me you were WORKING in your office? This is wut you call work?

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Bragging about your perfect spouse/significant other, bragging about your perfect babby, bragging about your perfect puppy/kitten, bragging about your perfect workout, the perfect lunch you just ate, the perfect party you attended, your perfectly blessed life…You’d almost think that FaceDerp was nothing more than a place to wallow in shallow, superficial narcissism…

    • Deleted

      This post was deleted.

    • andreamd

      wait, dog bragging is fine- cats- not so much.

    • thepoliticalcat

      You mean … it’s not OKAY?

  • Sylvia McKinney

    I don’t see anything wrong with posting stuff about my husband during our anniversary. I don’t say he’s the best husband in the world but I do mention being happy. Other than that, I just mention him once in awhile, but not that often. If that threatens or makes people feel bad, they can get over themselves and un-friend me. I waited a very long time to get married, longer than most. Also, my marriage isn’t anywhere near divorce. Other people do the same with their boyfriends, and I actually think moms in general are MUCH worse with bragging about their kids. Posting 10,0000 pics of their kid with a caption like, “My little princess is just the most beautiful girl in the world.” The thing is when parents do that time and time again, that’s how kids egos get so inflated. Most of my friends don’t do this, but some people do. But the truth is a person’s facebook is their facebook and they can post what they want. I kind of get tired of people wanting to dictate what I post. Don’t like it? Don’t be my friend. Period. Also if you just feel it’s a facebook-wide issue, don’t be on facebook.

  • William

    Sara, I’m a fan of your work and you seem awesome so, I’m saying this with affection. Relax. Its their facebook page. I post dumb stuff from time to time (like when I’m awake) and most of my friends probably wish that I would lay of my political rants but since they are, you know, my friends they understand and comment on what interests them and ignore the rest.If your friends are happily married be happy for them and don’t worry so much about their social media skills. If they are fronting for a secretly collapsing relationship, maybe try to help since you are their friend or stay out of it as appropriate but generally, putting them on blast on a widely read blog might be a poor option. Yes, I know that you didn’t name any names but I’m sure that a few people in your social media circle are wondering if you are talking about them.

    • lesterthegiantape

      she was in fact talking about you.

      • Guest

        Aw crap, that’s how it works? Expect an article about how annoying it is when FB friends strenuously declare that they most certainly DID NOT poop their pants at the work party, no matter what anyone claims to have smelled. Remember: Whomever smelt it dealt it, SARA.

  • Pat_Pending

    We were playing drunken darts in a pub one night and my ‘hubby’ (eeewww, so very!) was beating me. At darts, not, like, my face or anything. So I wrote on Facebook, “Greg is a c#$t.” That’s not the same, is it?

    • Yep.

      I called the Marriage Police and told them “There’s trouble at the pub, with Greg and Pat!” They know what to do to turn that frown upside down. (expecting Best Hubby status updates any minute now…)

  • (((JustPixelz)))

    How are you not perfect? Let me count the ways. It’s the imperfections that make marriages work … and fail. Like laundry. Apparently, I’m terrible at laundry. So I don’t do it. Yet somehow it gets done.

    • thepoliticalcat

      See, I never had to do that shit growing up, and boy was I surprised when I moved into my first apartment and THERE WERE NO CLEAN TOWELS IN THE CLOSETS.Mom told me you had to buy them and put them in there. And then wash them after using.The things you learn.

  • lesterthegiantape

    You got some really useful advice on how to write this column next time! People are so helpful! And if you do it like they say, it won’t even bother them like this version did.INPEACH!

    • Gustave188

      The misreadings of her article are humorous in themselves… “Why can’t people write about their wonderful husbands, waaaaaah.”

  • Dragoon21b

    it’s all just propaganda from the coffee mug lobby

    • Otto66

      I believe this to be true.

  • Whollyholeyholy

    I have a friend with the best hubby in the world because he buys her Tory Burch flats. I’m concerned that these two things are mutually exclusive, but I’m not going to be the one to break the news.

  • Dee

    To preface, I rarely post on facebook, and when I do, it’s a sarcastic comment or a playful status. But, I honestly don’t mind when people brag about their significant others, even if it’s an obvious facade and I’m making a mental note to check back in 6 months when the soap opera begins. It shows they are (1) focusing on the positive; (2) acknowledging and appreciating the small things their S.O. does; and (3) publicly declaring their love. Hell of a lot better than the depressing posts. Everything in moderation though. Every day posts are a clear indication of an upcoming Maury episode. Can we talk about what really matters, though? For example, people with bad eyebrows thinking they can tell you shit about life. Or, people that ask questions they could have easily Googled. Or, people incessantly posting articles/info graphics without checking to see if it’s factual. Or, the people that think Jesus will be upset if you don’t share his photo. All of THESE things must stop.

    • Your last paragraph especially speaks to me, good stranger.

    • SukatoKjolen

      I want society’s bigotry and ignorant beliefs that people with bad eyebrows don’t have valuable empathic abilities to end.

  • Pongo

    Totally agree that the only women (at least that I know) who make a point of hubby stroking (metaphorically speaking, of course) on Facebook (as if he even reads it) are the ones whose marriages are miserable and perpetually teetering on the brink of collapse. It’s obnoxious, but then so is 99% of the uninteresting, self-absorbed, ‘look at me’ dreck posted to Facebook. When I see these posts, I just think, ‘Oh, isn’t that nice. Appears they made up from the most recent battle of the century and will now remain married for at least another week.’ You know, glass half full and all that…

  • noneya

    Well I’ll be sure to never read anything you post ever again! Wish I could get back the 2 minutes I wasted reading this…

    • SpacelySpaceSprockets

      Man, I wasted like two seconds reading this..fuck!!!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Man I wasted a couple seconds reading both of your posts- IT’S CONTAGIOUS! (is it quitting time yet?)

        • lesterthegiantape

          I didn’t read the essay itself or any of these comments so I win, and my amazing wife also wins.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            that’s OK, I didn’t read your reply either so WE’RE ALL WINNERS!!

          • lesterthegiantape

            I upvoted this reply without glancing at it

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    But it’s still OK to brag about your hubby on Myspace. right?

    • glasspusher

      As long as you don’t brag about being on myspace

  • tegrat

    Yes but MY CAT IS THE BESTEST CAT EVAH!!!1!!

    • TATOR THOT

      That’s worth bragging about.. But my cat has actually won the Bestest Cat Evah award six years in a row… So please sit down…

  • Alex Ruthrauff

    It does seem weird to get mad about what people put on facebook, but a lot of us do it, including me. I think the reason is, at least for me, if you want my attention, put some effort into it and make it worth my time. Be funny or interesting or informative. Don’t just be like “look at me!”

    • beautifulmutant

      Yes. This times 1000 if you are, say, an entertainment blog.

  • emmelemm

    Lionel changed the headlight in my car and he is OFFICIALLY THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER.PS I’m not on Facebook so I can only brag here.

    • glasspusher

      What a guy. I’m sure you’ll let him check your oil next.

      • Cindyinencinitas

        He’s going to get lipstick on his dipstick? Intriguing…

    • thepoliticalcat

      Go, Lionel. 🙂

  • Commish of hangin’

    On the same note, if you call your husband/fiancee your “best friend,” you are a basic bitch.

    • sarabenincasa

      AHAHAHAHAHAH

    • Arken

      But my wife is my best friend. It’s by default- no one else likes me.So lonely.

    • thepoliticalcat

      Fuck that. Everybody KNOWS my spouse is my best bud ever.

  • Deleted

    This post was deleted.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter

    • doktorzoom

      You need a spell checker more than a spell caster.

      • Yep.

        I’m wondering how she does on a Telecaster. Gotta be better.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        another cleanup on aisle two. I guess it’s a sign of hitting the big time when the spammers show up

  • Tony

    Just shut it, Sara.

  • SSaz01

    ….. Said the unmarried author. Wow, so angry. I almost believed your rant. Maybe if you scream just a little louder about how you don’t want to be married, I can believe you. Meanwhile, keep on judging what you obviously know nothing about. It seems to be working for you. At least the whole angry, bitter thing. I am not a mushy facebook poster about my “hubby”, but I do love and respect him and if I choose to acknowledge and honor him in a public forum, it’s still probably not as annoying as your, “I am a strong, independent, woman who doesn’t need a man” bs accompanied by a picture of your thirteenth cat, followed by the post of you with you next short term relationship of the week. Believe it or not, some of us are pretty proud to be married. I know that may go against your feminist grain, but it’s true. And by all means, you like your life, fine by me. Enjoy. Just try to refrain from judging something you couldn’t possibly understand and leave the happy people alone.

    • Annie Towne

      Boy, did you miss the point!

    • David

      Clearly you did not read Sara’s post.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Did you, an apparently grown woman with children, seriously just pull the “you’re just mad because you’re jealous” card?Emotional maturity, the hell is that?

    • Arcturus

      Methinks thou doth not protest enough. Seriously, it sounds like you are just trying to convince yourself of what you typed.

    • content generating machine.

      Aren’t you charming? You sound like a sexist asshole

    • TATOR THOT

      Happy people don’t talk about how happy they are because they are just out being happy

    • TATOR THOT

      Also being married isn’t some end all to life… There are plenty of happy and proud married losers out there

  • Annie Towne

    Bragging about oneself or one’s family has never been proper, for lack of a better word, for exactly the reasons you mention: it makes people wonder what’s wrong that you’re trumpeting about your/their “special-ness”, and it makes them go “ewww” (there are other reasons, such as decent people don’t boast, period, but that’s a moral reason so let’s not go there). The only real exception to this has been grandchildren, about whom one is expected to lose one’s mind. All other family milestones used to be handled by letters or phone calls to loved ones. Sadly, Facebook has made bragging about everything easier and much more fun (illustrate your boasts with photos!), and has expanded the definition of “loved-one” to include people not seen since grammar school that you “friended” in a moment of nostalgic madness. I agree that it is unseemly and irritating, but there’s probably nothing to be done about it except to refrain oneself and hope that others take the hint.

  • merl1

    I make fun of my wife on Face Book. I’m better than all of you losers.

  • Yes! A thousand times yes. If I could hug this post I would.

  • thepoliticalcat

    Nuh-UH, mang, my hubz is totes the best in teh whole fuckin’ world. No, srsly, he looked up one ex for me, and hosted the other (I’m on good terms with those of my exes as ain’t dead yet). Pretty fucking sterling. Also, too, he brings me tea (and wine and water and treats of all kinds) in bed, and puts up with my insanity. Give the man a fucking medal already.

  • Coiltesla

    Forgive me for repeating a joke from another comment: “I feel like some sort of lady Andy Rooney”. Ths reads more as some sort of lady Dennis Miller post-9/11. I know you were trying for funny, but this just seems kind of mean and reactionary – more than you intended. I mean, when most people write something is “the best” they are being hyperbolic in a self-aware way. They are saying “at this moment”. Taking it as being some competitive self-deluding shallowness is kind of like calling other people “sheeple”.In fact, there is a “sheeple” tone to this entire rant – it seems like it should be a post by some right leaning techno-utopian who enjoys reddit PUA threads, not the leader of Happy Nice Time.

  • mtn_philosoph

    The more articles I read about other people’s experiences with Facebook, the more I wonder, “What’s wrong with me?” Why isn’t my News Feed brimming with updates from frenemies that drive me so crazy? Why am I not being carpet-bombed with inane photos of friends’ spawn, of their latest foreign travel, of their newly acquired expensive toys, etc.? Where is my flood of TMI from friends, real and pseudo? All my friends and I ever do are post updates in which we express genuine interest in each other’s status, commiserate over everyday foibles and crack bad jokes with each other. Our exchanges are so distressingly lacking in epic personal drama, over-the-top image polishing and self-promotion, and head-banging stupid political memes it’s pathetic. (We do share cat videos, though. Geez, we’re not from some alien species, fer crissakes.)I really feel like I am missing something important here, some essential element of contemporary life. It’s all starting to become very worrisome.

  • Well sorry you feel your life doesn’t involve your significant other except on anniversaries (Really?), but since about a whole half of my life revolves around this other person I think is the fucking shit, sorry if I disregard your opinion as a silly attempt to be cool and ‘not need a man’.Once you really are married for a few years and get to the point where you feel like this dude that lives with you is pretty much the end all of everything and the coolest thing since sex was invented, then I might value your opinion more. Until then, respectfully, you’re on the outside looking in and you really have no idea what you’re taking about. ;)The same way it’s torture to not tell the world by way of selfie that you did your eyeliner perfectly, there are times when the guy I love is truly so fucking awesome that I want everyone to know what kind of a person he is. Because he’s worth that status update. Quite a bit more than a stupid selfie. Someone who feels that selfies are more important than statuses about loved ones seems pretty narcissistic to me.(Although you’re right about the word hubby. I don’t like the words husband, wife or wifey either.)

  • Wait, are you the kind of person who tells parents to stop bragging about their kids, too? Because it makes you a shell of a woman to be focused on your family somehow? Look, I get it, it’s annoying to watch someone’s FB feed fill up with brags about their husband, if that’s all that they do. But there are some days when it’s just nice to acknowledge the person you love. Just like it feels good to brag on your kid when they do cool things. If you have FB friends who do nothing but brag on their kids or spouses (spice?), then sure, they could be boring and empty or however you phrased it, but you can also block their feed and never see that crap again. But if you have friends who occasionally say “wow, I love being married to this guy” then what’s wrong with that? Certainly FB is full of syrupy foolishness, not the least of which are the string of memes about how you’re supposed to share if you love your mom, hate cancer, respect your dad, love animals, believe that relationships are hard work, and so on (you know, things we really go out on a limb to stand up for to prove that we’re awesome). An insistence that other people stifle their own joy (on their own FB feed) has more to do with you than it has to do with them. I used to work in an office where lunch hour was filled with women complaining about their husbands being lazy or stupid or any number of other mean things. In this day and age of back biting, sniping, rudeness, and just plain meanness, sometimes it’s nice to see someone say “hey, I love the guy I picked and I’d like you all to know that I think he’s swell” from time to time. Maybe it’s just me, and maybe it’s just because I think the guy I married is pretty swell, too.

  • istolethelastcookie85

    I totally get you. I’m married with a baby (and one on the way) and i do understand how annoying it gets to see some friends on facebook constantly bragging about their spouses. Every 2 days and they will be random post that can be viewed on newsfeed ‘i love youuuu so muchhhh’ ‘you are the best thing i ever had’. i get it, but what i don’t get is why can’t u say it to the person him or herself? the funny thing is, the ones that are always doing that are the ones that usually have the most problems in their relationship, and somehow they need this reassurance by telling the whole world how ‘happy’ or ‘lucky’ they are. i swear it drives me bonkers. And don’t forget those shared couple accounts…that is double the annoyance.

  • Tgif

    Yes! This is so true. It is rather desperate when a friend is always needing to prove to the world she has the best “hubby”. I hate the word “Hubby” or “Hubs”! No, it is not being proud to post on Facebook your declaration of love for the hubs. It is desperate and insecure.

  • Technus

    Haha, this is so funny and true. I find the same thing.. typically these people are insecure about their relationships so they try to broadcast every nice thing their SO does on an daily basis. Sometimes people fall for it, but the ones I’m really close to, I can see right through the BS.

  • Beth

    What a relief to read this article – so validating for what I feel and think as I read posts about people boasting about their awesome spouses. I agree, tell them IN PERSON – I don’t need to know that much!! One of my best friend’s husband would always say the sweetest things on facebook about her, and I used to feel jealous and wonder why my spouse didn’t have such a magical way with words, until we found out my best friend’s husband was cheating on her and left her for someone else!! Just days after his last “I have the most awesome wife” post too! So I know those posts aren’t about reality, but am still annoyed by them, so thank you SO MUCH for your article!!

  • Zee MK Akbar

    Glad you wrote this. It’s always pretty annoying but kind of makes me wonder in what troubled state these people actually are who need social media validation? Maybe they should be encouraged to see a therapist?

  • Erika Rosales

    As soon as I read that she had a boyfriend and not a husband I disregarded everything previously written and stopped reading. Someone’s just salty she doesn’t have a ring.