Sleepy Hollow RECAP: Learning to swim through your tears (S2:E5)

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This week’s Sleepy Hollow is clouded by real world issues, namely the ratings. Fox is in the shitter and can’t seem to hook the chain to flush their turds away. Sleepy Hollow isn’t one of those turds, but the stench is really hurting its style and causing a drop in viewers this season.

sh 2.4 sucky shows

I’ve thought its been solid to this point, but this is the episode that might have me questioning how long their little Ichabod Crane train can keep moving. How can one man truly be connected to every supernatural happening in the area? Even in passing, he has a relationship to everything that goes down in Sleepy Hollow. No one questions it on the show and it is expected by the viewers, but does that mean we can’t get a break from it?

This week we learn that Crane had a lost love named Mary before Katrina, and she followed him here to the colonies where he broke the news that he loved her more like a sister and not a lover. All due to loving his redheaded witch of a temptress and wanting to bump uglies. People are ruining marriages left and right on this show. That leads to Mary dying and becoming The Weeping Lady, our creature feature for this episode.

Hell hast no fury like a woman scorned. No, wait, that's exactly what Hell has.

Hell hast no fury like a woman scorned. No, wait, that’s exactly what Hell has.

Before we get to her, we need to talk about Crane’s “side lady” in the modern age. Not Abbie Mills, but Caroline. She’s the reenactment gal from last season who turns out to be quite hot for Mr. Crane. He doesn’t want to break his promise to Katrina though, so he stops her from trying to jump his bones. Funny how he wants to do that now and has no issues busting up a marriage back in the 1700s.

Mills busts in on them as Crane is giving Caroline the bad news, but the whole thing is basically the kiss of death. She is the first victim of the Weeping Lady this episode, and it leads us into the story. This should’ve been the only connection to Crane and Mills, but it can’t be since this is Sleepy Hollow.

"I'd totally date both of you, but I'm pretty sure she can turn my wang into a newt."

“I’d totally date both of you, but I’m pretty sure she can turn my wang into a newt.”

Elsewhere, Katrina is still playing house with The Headless Horseman. The good thing is that she actually gets to take part in the episode this time out instead of just sitting to eat dinner and chatting with her former lover. She’s spying over here and getting kidnapped over there and even taking part in some unintentional murder in the past. It’s wonderful, but we’ll have to come back to that.

Caroline’s death at the hands of our weepy spirit leads Crane and Mills to investigate the source of the legend behind the Weeping Lady. There we run into Hawley once again, a character we never saw last season and somehow can’t help but just show up everywhere this season. If he was hitting on women at this library, I’d understand. Library love is the best kind. But he isn’t; he’s there to offer services to Crane and Mills.

Mills and Crane get separated for a bit, leading to Abbie having an encounter with the Weeping Lady and almost dying in the process. Seems that when the lady touches you, she transports you into the depths of time–no, sorry, that’s a Weeping Angel. The Weeping Lady transports you into the depths of the river when she touches you, which is not at all similar, no, sir. Crane manages to come in time to rescue Mills, but Hawley is the one who manages to do the CPR and save her life because sometimes being born in the past two hundred years has its advantages. Thank God you were at the library, Hawley. Hey, what are you doing with that drill in the ladies room?

"Wait, are we supposed to be underwater? I thought it was just the same blue filter we use in every other damn scene."

“Wait, are we supposed to be underwater? I thought it was just the same blue filter we use in every other damn scene.”

Exhibit A

Like these, for example.

In the process, Crane loses his letters from Katrina in the murky depths of the weepy one’s magic ghost pond. The very same spy letters that Katrina sent by a FUCKING RAVEN earlier in the episode. This entire show is like a juicy fart wrapped in Edgar Allen Poe’s absinthe-soaked underwear. Why are the ratings tanking?!

SLEEPY HOLLOW RECAP: Learning to swim through your tears (S2:E5)

“You remind me of a girl I used to date.”

After some clever deductions thanks to a piece of veil and a vacant memory, Crane realizes that the Weeping Lady is Mary and her torment is all his fault…kinda. He certainly came all the way to colonies, gave her the could shoulder, and then told her to go home, but it was Katrina who is truly to blame for our weeping maiden. Seems she confronted Mary soon after her conversation with Crane back during the Revolution. This led to a near fight, some tripping, and a dead lady. Instead of giving her a proper burial, Katrina just shoves her corpse into the water and fakes a letter to Crane about her return to England. Bully!

"Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?"

“Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?”

Now knowing he is the cause and Katrina is probably in danger due to the missing letters, Crane and Mills head to get Hawley’s help. He’s a little frigid on the idea now that he saved Mills’ life at the library, but he gives them a special crossbow allegedly used by the REAL Van Helsing. Not that asshole Hugh Jackman played in that shitty movie. The tip is full of Greek fire, and it represents this show basically throwing every spooky thing in the book at the audience, hoping it sticks.

With the crossbow in hand, the duo head to the Horseman’s lair and find they are too late. Luckily, they remember where the lady takes her victims when she drowns them and head over to find Katrina free and safe on the shore. She used her witch magic to escape, but the Weeping Lady is still a threat.

Enter the goofy spiritual lingo about black magic and the risk it will create within the confines of this show. Christ knows Katrina hasn’t been in peril enough as it is, we now need to add something else to the fold. Katrina is going to use her powers to release Mary from her evil bondage as a tortured soul; she just needs Crane help in doing so.

"But first, we need some supplies from Prof. Snape's office."

“But first, we need some supplies from Prof. Snape’s office.”

Katrina is in a pickle. Sure she just stopped the Weeping Lady, but she also is the reason the lady exists in the first place. Not to mention she lied to Crane, AGAIN, and was trying to pull the “now is not the time” card, AGAIN. I don’t like this lady, and she’s now ruined more than one life close to the center of this show. Maybe we’re supposed to burn in Hell fire?

Either way, The Horseman shows up to reclaim Katrina. She talks him out of killing Crane because of his rescue attempt, and ol’ Horsey buys it. They ride back to the love cottage and the status quo is restored. Jenny returns the crossbow to Hawley for Crane and Abbie, and she gives him a smooch to seal the deal.

The very end of the episode sees Henry Parrish make an appearance. Seems that he was helping to pull the strings behind the Weeping Lady’s reappearance in Sleepy Hollow. Making Moloch a little unhappy seeing how the ghost almost killed his ace in the hole, Katrina. This leaves Parrish crying on the floor of his estate and pondering his next move. Something to do with the bones from the last episode I think, at least judging from the previews.

"Now you sit there and think about what you did."

“Now you sit there and think about what you did.” 

For more Sleepy Hollow, check out our full recap library!

TV Show: Sleepy Hollow

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