VIDEO: Shaquille O’Neal “Biological Didn’t Bother”

It’s Mendo’s first ever song review! And, while we here at the Agony Booth would never force you to admit to yourself that Shaq even had a rap career in the first place, someone who may or may not have played for the Lakers did in fact record this song. Also, he may have dressed in a suit that made him look like a salmon. But you’ll have to watch the episode to find out! Also, there’s something in this video about the remake of Red Dawn. That part’s probably funny…

Scroll down to comment on this video...

You may also like...

  • MichaelANovelli

    Reviewing music is harder than it looks, I can tell you that…  🙂

    • Sofie Liv

       Making videos is harder than it looks…

      • MichaelANovelli

        Well, I know how to make those.  😛

        • Sofie Liv

           Take it as an acknowledgement! it’s hard to make videos and hard to make music reviews, there’fore you are awesome.

          See, easy to turn it that way.

          • MichaelANovelli

            Ah, you’re making me blush…  🙂

          • Sofie Liv

             hehe, my mom always said I could become an excellent spin-doctor <_<

          • MichaelANovelli

            Well, you are “Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong”!  LOL

          • Sofie Liv

             Well you and I both know that isn’t true, and you know I am right saying so, that’s how clever I am, now buy what-ever I am making a commerciel for.

          • MichaelANovelli

            I’ll let the fact that the reference slipped right past you go, but only because I can’t argue with your logic…

          • Sofie Liv

            I have litterately no idea what that was supposed to be a refferance to. 

          • MichaelANovelli

            “Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong” is a song by The Spin Doctors.  🙂

          • I’d prefer it if you used your convincing powers for good and not evil but it’s your life. Be the best damn spin doctor you can be!

          • Sofie Liv

             Well being a good spin doctor is merely all about turning the words around so they gain the meaning that suits me the best.
            I think I am lawful neutral in this matter and just spits out what-ever suits my person needs <_<

          • Muthsarah

            That’s Neutral Evil.

          • Sofie Liv

            I suck at Dungeon and Dragons any-way.. I am more of a larper type. 

          • MichaelANovelli

            I don’t know any of those words…

  • $36060516

    I don’t know about you, but those pop-up ads for Todd in the Shadows and Vampire Reviews gesticulating and attempting to take attention away from the actual video I’m watching irritate the fawk out of me.  (I know it’s not your choice, it’s a Blip thing.)

    Almost as bad as Shaq rapping!

    • MichaelANovelli

      It all comes together, doesn’t it?  😉

      • $36060516

        To offer a more specific comment on your work, I enjoyed the segue between Red Dawn and Shaq rapping.  Creative way to add some extra juice to the sad sight of Shaq humiliating himself.

        • MichaelANovelli

          Yes, I felt that Red Dawn wouldn’t make a good review on its own, but somehow, pairing it with Shaq rapping just felt RIGHT!  🙂

  • Cameron Vale

    It’s like he’s constantly choking back the urge to apologize for his rhymes.

    • MichaelANovelli

      I just can’t accept that this is the same guy who was in Steel!  My mind will not allow this!

  • John Wilson

    The original version is kind of better
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_PZIhUKbLE
    But he did a great song with biggie:)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFc0iVlCEPY

    • MichaelANovelli

      I’m pretty sure that verse from Biggie got recycled into a Michael Jackson song.  🙂

      • John Wilson

        Speaking of Micheal Jackson. He also did a song for him:)
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVEMWkuaGKM

        • MichaelANovelli

          OK, it seems that the version of the song that has Biggie on it is not the same version of that song that had a video made for it.  I guess “Can’t Stop The Reign” was the “Diamonds From Sierra Leone” of its day…

  • Tim Terrell

    Be a little more comprehensive man, like telling us who the Fu-Schnickens were and what the hell Bugs Bunny had to do with getting Shaq a record deal. I know who the Fu-Schnickens are, but most people watching this won’t know. 

    • Muthsarah

      Well, if someone wants to know, they can always try to get on the internet.  If they can find a way to do that AND watch Agony Booth vids at the same time, I mean.

  • I agree, Mr Mendo, military life is tough, and the pay is ridiculously low.   My father was a career military man retiring from the Air Force as a Master Sergeant (E7).  I have no idea how he did it, I could only tolerate one term before I got out (E4).  So I have a lot of respect for all the military personnel that have to deal with that kind of a harsh life-style for multiple (re-)enlistments.

    • MichaelANovelli

      Yeah, I don’t suppose I could have brought myself to re-enlist if I was given the opportunity, either…

  • You did a great job, look forward to future song reviews from you. =) 

  • Necroglobule

    I prefer his magnum opus “Pass the ball, Kobe. I’m not kidding man, there are other people on this team too. Dammit, Kobe this isn’t funny, pass the damn ball!”

    • MichaelANovelli

      Hey, unlike Kobe, Shaq’s rap albums were actually released.  Make of that what you will.  😉

  • Jeff Stone Stone

    North Korea CAN feed itself.  It’s just that their dictators like it better when their people CAN’T feed themselves.  For reasons I cannot fathom.  Red Dawn never sat well with me even in the original version.  Quite apart from the improbability of the enemy being able to resupply itself and replace casualties over such a long distance (the REAL and almost sole reason the rebels ‘won’ the American Revolutionary War), it also always felt to me like Blitz porn.  Enjoying the spectacle of seeing your own country bombed and shot up.  The US has never been attacked in that fashion, Pearl Harbour excepted, so it seems unreal and thus fun to imagine it. Protip: it ain’t fun.  It’s horrible.  It’s relatively OK when aliens do it, because that’s not plausible and thus fantastical, but with ‘real’ enemies, what you are saying intentionally or not is ‘Russia/North Korea is evil, and they would definitely do this to us if they had a chance’. No….no they wouldn’t.  Neither country is evil…their leaders were and remain dictators (Putin’s just Stalin with better pecs), but only fools mistake the leadership for the people.  Israel is another example of that.  And evil though they are, they are not STUPID.  And attacking the world’s most heavily armed country (calling the US the world’s top superpower is becoming increasingly untrue) is a monumentally idiotic idea.  Which is probably why no-one’s ever tried.

    • Necroglobule

      The North Koreans couldn’t raid the fridge, much less invade anyone.

      North Korea won’t do anything that would piss off China. Plain and simple. the Jong Ils have never gone to the bathroom to take a piss without Chinese say-so. So the People’s Republic is content to let NK starve their population to death and rattle their sabers all they please and pretend that their missiles actually work and keep up the illusion that they’re a global power. Any war, and I mean ANY war the North Koreans get involved in ESPECIALLY on the Korean peninsula will surely draw the Chinese in as well, and that would disrupt China’s own plan for world domination.After all, why invade the United States when they can simply buy it?

    • CDiehl

      It’s true that Red Dawn is astoundingly implausible, but it would have been infinitely worse if the people who made it really tried to explain away the implausibility of its setup. The smartest screenwriter in existence couldn’t put together a reasonable sequence of events to make the invasion make sense. Even if someone could do that, how would you put it into the movie without grinding it to a halt? The best thing they could was what they did, which was to say in the opening credits, “look, a bunch of crap happened and Russia and North Korea invaded the U.S.”.
       
      Also, I doubt anyone imagines that a real-life version of this movie would be fun. The same can be said of every action movie ever made. It’s literally fun because it’s not happening to us, and we can enjoy the heroics without any of the mess.

      • MichaelANovelli

        Well, maybe it’s just my experiences, but I have a little trouble rooting for guerrillas over an organized military.  Funny how the world has changed since the 80’s, eh?

  • MichaelANovelli

    All this talk about Shaq has given me a great idea for my next review!  Stay tuned!  🙂

  • Shaq deserved a rap career and so do i!!!
    I think Shaq would do a great job being CEO of Dow Jones!!!!

    • MichaelANovelli

      Eh?

      • Muthsarah

        That might be an strange undersold reference to Blue Chips.  But why would I, or anyone, remember that film?