Sexxxy Swedish Clothing Company Has Great Idea To Bomb North Korea With Underpants
Unbeknownst to at least me, after leaving his halcyon days of stardom, Swedish tennis great Bjorn Borg began making underwear – or, more likely, licensing his name to people that make underwear. There’s a thin little bio at that page about how Bjorn Borg was a winner, so that is their heritage, because wearing underwear does indeed mean you are winning. For sure, Borg was a semi-fine slice of man meat in his heyday, especially next to a mouth-breathing John McEnroe
…but we didn’t really figure on him becoming creator of a clothing line that falls somewhere between the bright boringness of H&M and the boring sleaziness of American Apparel.
But he did! And they are sexxxy! They have a whole section of the website devoted to the Dicktionary, (spelling error intentional) which is a sexy dictionary, I guess?
A user contributed slang dictionary in which all of the words and definitions are somewhat sexually related. The purpose of the Dicktionary is to equip the world with a vocabulary fit for the Björn Borg lifestyle. The words are created by joining two words and their meanings together into one new sexy word.
Hawt. Because they just can’t contain the sexxxy, they’ve developed an ill-advised “Weapons of Mass Seduction” ad campaign for fall:
Yes, Bjorn Borg will bomb you with sexxxy. They will drop sexxxy all over you. Apparently, this isn’t just a metaphor:
“We wanted to create a way to spread our campaign, these weapons of mass seduction we have,” Jonas Lindberg Nyvang, marketing and communication manager of Björn Borg, told The Local. “We wanted to do it in an online way where people could nominate a place in the world, a place in need of love and seduction. And we’re dropping 450 pairs of underwear on the winning location.” […]
The company has stated that the drop, set to take place on October 31st, will go on if North Korea wins – if at all possible.
“We have honestly no idea on how to drop our underwear over North Korea, but we have started looking into if there is a way,” global marketing director Lina Söderqvist said in a press statement. “If they win, we will of course do everything that we can to send some love and seduction to the North Koreans.
Yes, what could go wrong with underwear aerial bombing a country run by an unstable dictator who keeps threatening to nuke the shit out of his perceived rivals? Someday, you’ll have to tell your kids how World War III, the nuclear conflagration that enveloped the earth, began, and it will start with a doofus company dropping underwear on North Korea.