Sarah Palin Has ‘Thoughts’ On Fish-Selfies, Katie Couric

Sarah Palin Has 'Thoughts' On Fish-Selfies, Katie Couric

For a half-term grifter/failed vice presidential candidate, Sarah Palin’s half-life has been truly lengthy and remarkable. She is the cockroach of low culture. Empires will rise and fall, and there will be Sarah Palin, getting a crappy teevee show for being Sarah Palin. And where Sarah is, there is also bitchy ill-will towards anyone she perceives has wronged her.

Yes, Sarah has a new show, “Amazing America With Sarah Palin,” premiering in April. If you need to know down to the exact second when it will grace your television set, you can go to the show’s website, which has a ridiculous countdown clock. She’s been demoted to something called The Sportsman Channel, which we assume is one of those things your dad watches on Saturday afternoon when he’s avoiding shoveling the driveway, staring vaguely at an endless parade of fishing shows. But now dad can stare at Sarah, who will be responsibly utilizin’ nature and gooder stuff like that.

“They’re out there living the Alaska America lifestyle where everybody is in the outdoors responsibly utilizing it and developing natural resources, and we’re going to showcase people, places and things that kind of encompass all of that and inspire people to get out there, be outdoors and live life vibrantly.”

It behooves us to point out that the above is all one sentence.

Even the show’s promo materials are already suffused with the smug that is Sarah.

Bd9-KmRCIAAWnHo

Yes, the problem with America is that there are not enough girls taking pictures of themselves with fish. That’s what we’ve been saying for years.

Of course, it wouldn’t be a Sarah Palin interview without a snide little snit from Sarah about anyone who has ever done anything Mama Polar Bear or whatever the fuck she calls herself doesn’t like. In this case, the reviewer served up a softball about Katie Couric so Sarah could spite it out of the ballpark.

Lopez introduced a question about Katie Couric, who helped torpedo Palin’s 2008 vice presidential bid by asking her what newspapers and magazines she read, by asking Palin if she believed in karma.

“I certainly believe that what goes around comes around,” Palin said, smiling. […]

“The ratings were going in the tank with her as one of the head honchos there in the newsroom at CBS and then it didn’t surprise me, her other move,” Palin said. “Things weren’t going real well there, either.”

Let’s take a moment to remember that the terrible horrible no good very bad thing that Katie Couric — who is no Mike Wallace and was not selected for her hard-hitting interviewing skills — did was to ask Sarah Palin which newspapers she read.

BURN HER.

We thought the Katie Couric leap to Yahoo! signaled a downturn in her fortunes as well, but it looks like she’ll be just fine. Her inaugural interview was with former defense secretary Robert Gates the day before his big bombshell book, Duty,came out. In contrast, Sarah Palin is expected to interview a big mouth bass before she takes a picture holding it, but only after she misidentifies it as a lake trout and drops it down her signature red jacket accidentally. Must never see TV.

[Raw Story/Politico]

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  • Ellis_Weiner

    Can’t someone program a computer to spew forth random word-salad like this, and then can’t someone else have a contest to see who can correctly identify which heaping bowls of salad are from the computer, and which from Sarah? Or has it already been done?

    • $160578

      Turing Test for the mentally challenged?

  • Lazy Media

    Hey, and she’ll get to expense all those trips to Alaska from her suburban Arizona McShitbox, so extra grifty credit!

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    Please let the girls holding fish meme begin!

  • Squirrel_t_robot

    If Palin could she would leave Alaska ASAP.Unfortunately, that looks bad after resigning as governor of the same state in your first term.

  • FeloniousMonk

    I agree with Sarah that more women taking pictures with fish would be a good thing: http://images.starpulse.com/news/bloggers/8/blog_images/gillian-anderson-conger-eel.jpg. Should I seek professional help?

    • Antonin Dvorak

      I can’t stop staring…

  • BMW

    “the Alaska America lifestyle”What?

    • $34357535

      She’s Alaskan-American–they’re like Americans, only superior. Don’t be jealous, racist haters. (This might explain why English doesn’t seem to be her first language. Perhaps we could call her word-salad outbursts “blatheronics.”)

      • BMW

        I’ve never heard of a black person calling him or herself “Africa America” though.

  • Melinda Piette

    Those hip waders ????) are hawt. Also, not only has she been demoted to the Sportsman Channel, she’s been demoted to Nice Time. Because back in the day, her mean girl antics NEVER would’ve landed her here.Also, too, also—she was on some Extra-wannabe entertainment gossip type show on Saturday and girlfriend looked ROUGH!

  • $73376667

    Yes, the problem with America is that there are not enough girls taking pictures of themselves with fish.

    When did C_R_Eature hack Lisa’s account?

  • hellslittlestangel

    Oh for the day when old people make jokes about Sarah Palin and young people look at each other and shrug.

  • “a woman without a fish is like a bicycle without a selfie” — Sarah Palin (not Vice-President of the United States 2009-2016)

    • Sue4466

      You win.

  • Nixon, etc.

    I’d like to comment, but I just can’t.She’s just the…I can’t.

  • Poindexter718

    Q: So you’re the governor of a small western state whom most Americans have never heard of and you’ve just been selected as the veep nominee for a major party, tell us a little bit about yourself–what papers do you read?A: That’s a gotcha question!

  • Paul J

    How is this a story for Happy Nice Time People?

  • Farb

    DNA evidence proves that Sarah Palin is a real woman. Not much else.

  • GarColga

    I think it’s hilarious that the Sportsman Channel has to use a five year old pic of Palin in hip-waders to show how “outdoorsy” she is.

  • AnOuthouse

    The only Amazing part of America is Alaska? How patriotic.

  • Deleted

    This post was deleted.

    • KittySoft Paws Rolufs

      Snowflake Snookie FTW!!

  • r_dale

    Sigh! Let’s try this again, moderators. The photo of Palin in the fish nets and hip boots was taken five years ago, according to The Immortal Majority, an Alaska blog that keeps up with her so you don’t have to. She used it in her presser to explain why she was quitting the governorship.

  • Duckler

    I’m sorry Sarah, but which one of you is on CBS, and which had to sign with a channel my cable company doesn’t even carry? Karma, indeed.