The Blockbuster Chick
Hosted by: Suzie McGinney
Deep in the heart of a quiet town in Scotland, the Blockbuster Chick dwells. Her purpose? To tackle the big name box office hits that should've never been green-lit in the first place—The movies that get a huge build-up, only to fall flat on opening weekend. Come watch as an adventurous Scottish lassie reviews them all (give or take a few)!
Blood Splattered Cinema
Hosted by: Horror Guru
The Horror Guru reviews the bloodiest, wildest, and weirdest horror that cinema has to offer!
The Bunny Perspective!
Hosted by: Phil Buni
Media reviews and analysis by a pot smoking, puppet bunny. Do you like weird-but-great underground films? Hate Glee, Gigli, and other Hollywood garbage? The Bunny Perspective offers a blend of humorously angry negative reviews, and honest praise of underground movies and TV. We talk about films, TV, anime, and animation. We are the Cult of the Bunny, and you too can be a Cultist. #CultoftheBunny
Cartoon Palooza
Hosted by: Joey Tedesco
A satirical review show where a guy from Jersey watches and criticizes cartoons, including everything from comic books to animated movies. Whatever it is, Joey will either tell you to run out and see it... or fughetabouit!
The Cheap-Arse Film Review
Hosted by: Liam Barrett
It's the Cheap-Arse Film Review, where a young(ish) man finds out if it's possible to live the life of a cinephile super-nerd on the strictest budget possible. Inspired by growing up in the wilds of Essex, England (that's only partially a joke, by the way) and the current harsh economic times, Liam only reviews DVD that can be purchased for £1.00p or less!
The Cinema Slob
Hosted by: Cinema Slob
The Cinema Slob is here to defend the movies that everyone else seems to hate, for some reason. His reviews of underappreciated and misunderstood classics of modern cinema will surely entertain and maybe even change a few minds.
The Count Jackula Show
Hosted by: Count Jackula
There are vampires, and there are men from outer space, but there is only one vampire from outer space! Join Count Jackula from the Planet Drakula as he explains the ins and outs of horror, from the mythic to the modern. Blood, off-color humor, and an obsession with Elvira are in store for you!
The DVD Shelf
Hosted by: David Rose
Life is short, so skip the bad movies and let your host David Rose reveal, review, and recommend the ones you should have on your own DVD shelf. The DVD Shelf is a film-lover's safe haven to bask in the warm glow of cult favorites, over-looked cinematic gems, rediscovered classics, and downright fun flicks on both DVD and Blu-ray.
The Examined Life (of Gaming)
Hosted by: Roland Thompson
Just when video games were getting good, the late '90s and early '00s came along. The Examined Life (of Gaming) dares to delve into the good, the bad, and the value-priced games of this dark period, and sometimes we find something worth playing!
The Film Renegado
Hosted by: Film Renegado
Coming to you from south of the border, it's the Film Renegado! A civil engineer with a cinephile complex, the Film Renegado uses movies made in Mexico or by Mexican directors to share bits from his country's culture, past and present. You will both learn and be entertained! How cool is that?
Friday Night Fright Flicks
Hosted by: Count Jackula & Horror Guru
Welcome, fright knights, to Friday Night Fright Flicks! Join your hosts Count Jackula and the Horror Guru as they stumble their way through current horror releases, letting you know which ones are worth the price of admission.
Good Bad Flicks
Hosted by: Cecil Trachenburg
Good Bad Flicks is a show not only dedicated to rare movies, but also forgotten classics and misunderstood box office bombs. Your host Cecil takes you through each movie, discussing the promotional materials, and taking a look at what went on behind the scenes. With a healthy dose of Irish sarcasm, he throws a few jabs at even his most cherished favorites.
The Graphic Novel Picture Show
Hosted by: Solkir
Your host Solkir presents The Graphic Novel Picture Show, a retrospective of the history of comic book movies!
Joshua the Anarchist
Hosted by: Joshua Bell
Charged with the crime of liking Batman & Robin, Joshua the Anarchist has been declared insane and committed to Arkham Asylum. Locked away in a padded cell, he'll endure movie after movie as doctors attempt to "treat" him. He may not have gone in a madman, but he soon will be.
Minority Report Reviews
Hosted by: Tom Marriott
Minority Report Reviews is where often slated or just plain forgotten films and TV shows come for an ego boost. Focusing primarily on unloved sequels, your host Tom Marriott takes questions from the general public to showcase the positives in these films. Love it or hate it, this is the show where you can have your say and see a guilty pleasure defended by the host with the most... strange tastes.
Movie Dorkness
Hosted by: Sofie Liv
It's the show formerly known as Red Suitcase Adventues! Join Sofie Liv, a nice Dane (who may not be as negative as everyone else!) as she dissects pop culture phenomena to explore both the good and bad in popular films.
The Movie Skewer
Hosted by: Team Agony Booth
From the makers of the Agony Booth™ comes The Movie Skewer, where terrible movies are roasted over an open flame for your enjoyment. Watch the very first online review/recap series that’s too much for one host to handle!
Mr. Mendo's Hack Attack
Hosted by: Michael A. Novelli
Need a healthy dose of cynicism from a guy whose face you can barely see? Then Mr. Mendo’s your man! Whether a movie suffers from Hype Backlash, Intellectual Dishonesty, or is just Complete Shit, Mr. Mendo is there. Mr. Mendo wasn‘t raised in this country, so he takes nothing for granted: if something ain‘t right, he’ll nose it out. So join him as he takes on Oscar winners and legendary flops alike in front of a blanket suspended between his couch and recliner!
Mystery Madness
Hosted by: Full of Questions
Mysteries are awesome! And who's better suited to examine the wonderful, the terrible, and the adequate of the movie mystery genre than a teenager with nerdy glasses and substandard editing software? ...Many people, probably, but enjoy the show anyway!
The Oldschoo' Review
Hosted by: Johnny Oldschool
Johnny eats disgusting food, he reviews bad movies, and he's usually drunk. Bacon lovers everywhere agree that The Old Schoo' Review is the worst thing to happen to the internet since flash-based websites.
PGSM Summaries
Hosted by: Nycea
Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (PGSM for short) is a hilarious live-action retelling of the Sailor Moon story. On this show, your host Nycea summarizes and riffs on this gloriously bad series—one episode at a time.
The Porn Critic
Hosted by: Porn Critic
Comedy reviews of the worst and most bizarre adult films available, by a character called the Porn Critic, who tends to focus on the acting bits rather than the actual sex! Who knew continuity errors and bad dialogue could lead to chronic flaccidity?
Reel vs. Reel
Hosted by: Animated Heroine
Animation isn't just for kids; it's also for adults who never learned how to grow up. In Reel vs. Reel, the Animated Heroine looks at two similar animated films to see which one comes out on top and why. Her love for good animated films is only matched by her cynicism towards the bad ones.
Stuff You Like
Hosted by: Sursum Ursa
Stuff You Like is an original show where redhead Sursum Ursa waxes enthusiastic about movies, TV shows, and anything else that comes to mind! Expect singing, snarky subtitles, random pictures she finds on the internet, and lots of fangirling!
Terror Obscura
Hosted by: Fear Fan
Terror Obscura is a show dedicated to exploring the best and worst horror films ever made. While some shows are content to just mock bad films, this one isn't afraid to take even the most sacred of cows to the slaughterhouse. If you like horror, humor, or if you're just looking to find some titles you might want to rent, Terror Obscura is the show for you!
Tom's Retrophilia
Hosted by: Thomas Stockel
Is he a connoisseur of vintage media, or just a bitter old man trapped in the past?  Either way, tune in and watch Tom take a look at the movies and television shows from a time when he was actually in the target audience!
The Unusual Suspect
Hosted by: Unusual Suspect
The Unusual Suspect reviews popular movies, and tears 'em apart! They may be good, but no movie is perfect, and there's always things you may have overlooked and hadn't thought about. So join the Suspect as he exploits and ridicules the films you know and love. Just don't kill him for it!
What We Had to Watch
Hosted by: Il Neige
Il Neige is a smart-ass with a love-hate relationship with movies from the new millennium. Sure, reviews can be fun or cathartic, but there's also the risk of the occasional Twi-hard invasion or fireball to the face! ...That's how these things usually go, right? So join Il Neige as he braves the cinematic dangers that lie just beyond the fourth wall to critique the best and worst of 21st century filmmaking!
the agony booth
With an All-Star Cast!
Hank Anderson (Paul Newman). He's a know-it-all oil driller and the only person with an intuitive sense of danger.
Shelby Gilmore (William Holden). He plays against type as a multimillionaire businessman and part owner of a luxury hotel.
Kay Kirby (Jacqueline Bisset). The advertising executive and love interest for Shelby and Hank. Who will she choose?
Bob Spangler (James Franciscus). The evil business partner of Hank and Shelby who defies any man or natural force that gets in his way.
Nikki Spangler (Veronica Hamel). Shelby's goddaughter, Bob's wife, and a profoundly stupid woman.
Brian (Edward Albert). Manages Bob's hotel. He looks more like David Cassidy than a Polynesian.
Iolani (Barbara Carrera). Brian's fiancée and fellow hotel employee.
Also Starring: Burgess Meredith, Ernest Borgnine, Red Buttons, Alex Karras, Pat Morita and John Considine. Wow!

The recap continues after this advertisement...

In 1970, a new sub-genre hit the big screen: The all-star disaster movie. The concept of a disaster movie wasn't new (The Hurricane, 1937; A Night to Remember, 1958) nor was an all-star movie approach new (It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, 1963; The Great Race, 1965), but one day the two combined like chocolate and peanut butter and now we, the viewing public, could have both in one package!

Audiences flocked to see movies at the beginning of the decade like Airport, The Towering Inferno and The Poseidon Adventure. And whenever that much money is made, you can count on all the studios to rush to cash in. Soon the genre had exploded, and killer animals on the rampage, trapped people, burning buildings, crashing airplanes, and sequels were everywhere. It was relentless. So by 1980, the idea had pretty much run its course, and movies like Airplane! were coming along to skewer the disaster genre and people regained their cinematic senses. But producer Irwin Allen couldn't resist sucking the tap dry for one last drop.

When Time Ran Out..., like many other disaster movies, was based on a book; In this case, the non-fiction work about the eruption of Mt. Pelée entitled The Day the World Ended by Gordon Thomas and Max Morgan Witts. Screenwriters Carl Foreman and Stirling Siliphant were called upon to give it the Hollywood treatment.

The film was directed by James Goldstone, whose most notable movie might be They Kill Their Masters, but is probably better known to Star Trek fans as the director of two original series episodes, "What Are Little Girls Made Of?" and "Where No Man Has Gone Before". Irwin Allen assembled an all-star cast (all of them in between good gigs), tossed them down in Hawaii, and set the cameras rolling. Unfortunately for everyone involved (including us now), when this film was released was exactly the same moment when time ran out on disaster movies.

The movie begins with ominous music and a pan across a steaming black lava field. A lone volcanologist takes measurements, then looks up to see a private jet flying over the island. Inside the jet are Shelby Gilmore (played by William Holden) and Kay Kirby (Jacqueline Bisset). Shelby is looking over some papers as he tells Kay, "I really like your slogan. 'Come watch Mauna Nui toss in her sleep.'"

"Subtle, right?" she asks. Well, don't quit your day job, Kay. Oh, this is your day job?

The pilot tells them they're on final approach and need to buckle up. "Allow me," Shelby says seductively, and a long, meaningful stare passes between them. Hey, if you want to make a drinking game out of the meaningful stares in this movie, you'll need to run to the liquor store and get a couple more bottles. I don't care how many you currently have. You're going to need more. Go on, I'll wait.

Shelby buckles Kay's seat belt kind of awkwardly and then says, "Speaking of final approaches." Very smooth, old man! He pulls a ring box out and hands it to Kay. She opens it, revealing a very large square cut diamond.

"Is that the largest you could find?" she rudely asks.

He passes it over and says, "Largest or smallest, it simply means... I want to marry you."

She says she can't. "You know what the problem is."

"Yes, I know what the problem is." I think we all know what the problem is. She's young and hot, he's old and not. "But he's not the marrying kind," Shelby tells her. But apparently neither is she, so whoever "he" is should work out just fine for her. Kay counts this as Shelby's seventh proposal, but Shelby tells her it's the last. Even he knows he can't last much longer. Cue meaningful stare, aaaaaand cut!

Up at the Volcano Command Center, we see the guy in the volcanologist suit is none other than James Franciscus, star of TV's Finder of Lost Loves! (MST3k fans insert joke punch line here.) This is just a side point, but throughout this film, James, as Bob Spangler, will be sporting many different looks. This means we can pretend the movie has even more stars than it already does! Right now, he's looking a little like Robert Preston circa The Music Man. Hi Bob! Who will he look like next?


"Can you guarantee your sauna suit will make me even more ruggedly handsome?"

 
 

Bob calls down to the hotel and talks to Brian, his hotel manager, to tell him he just saw Shelby's plane fly in. Shelby has arrived a day earlier than expected, so Bob tells Brian to hurry down and meet him.

Cut to a village near the ocean, and our next Embarrassed Actor: Alex Karras as Tiny Baker. He and his buddy Kelly pull up in a noisy old jeep in front of the freight office. Tiny jumps out and tells Kelly, "I'll be right back," in such a way that makes me hope the freight office has a bathroom. And that I don't have to use it next.

Kelly waits in the jeep and tries to make time with a local native girl. "Don't I know your sister?" Down, you dirty, racist old man! Tiny comes back out with a rooster in a cage. He keeps calling it "Champ". If I'm not mistaken, isn't that what he called Webster, too? It seems these two have lost $7200 cockfighting with a local guy named Sam, and importing this bird is the key to winning back all their money.

 


Hold me closer, Tiny Baker.

 

A gray limousine drives past them with Shelby and Kay inside. Tiny stares at the car and pessimistically announces, "She's back." But she can only darken his mood for a moment, because Champ the Rooster is far more important right now.

Tiny and Kelly take Champ over to a place called Mona's, which is the local whorehouse and bar run by Mona and Sam. Tiny tells Mona (hey, wasn't that his mother-in-law's name on Webster?) to get Sam. Mona blows on a whistle and Sam comes out, and he's played by our next guest on The Cavalcade of Shame, Pat Morita!

Sam pumps a baseball bat in the air and yells, "Where's the fight? Where's the fight?" Mona motions to the guys and their bird. Tiny challenges Sam to a cockfight for $10,000 even money. After some very strange whisperings to the rooster—possibly asking if the bird would take his place at the '83 Oscars—Sam accepts the challenge. Tiny then gets a call on his walkie-talkie, telling him to get back up to the oilfield right away because the pressure readings are up. Sam and Tiny agree to a cockfight at eleven the next morning, and Tiny and Kelly quickly leave.


"Hey, I needed the rent money."

 
 

At the Kalaleu Gilmore Hotel, Shelby and Kay get out of their limo. They're greeted by Iolani (played by Barbara Carrerra), who's apparently the hotel's concierge. Just imagine Julie McCoy from The Love Boat and you have this girl's job. Also coming to greet them is hotel manager Brian (played by Edward Albert, currently under a ton of makeup in a failed attempt to make him look like an islander).

Iolani welcomes Shelby and Kay back to the hotel. Kay says she's excited to be here, not only for the hotel's grand opening, but also for Iolani and Brian's wedding. Iolani looks downcast for a moment, then says they've decided to postpone their wedding so as not to interfere with the hotel's opening. This looks to be news to Brian, because a series of meaningful glances pass all around. Here's an unrelated question: If you and your fiancé lived someplace like this, would you think he was really cheap if he said, "For our honeymoon, I thought we could just go down to the beach"?

Kay tries to think of something to say as she and Iolani walk off. Shelby takes Brian aside and asks suspiciously if anything's wrong. Brian gives him a big smile and says, "Of course not, Mr. Gilmore! Everything's fine!" Wedding Planning Intrigue!

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