[NOTE: This recap was revised on February 8, 2006. New screen captures were taken from the recent DVD release, and more captions were added, along with a few new comments from me! —2006 Albert]

Blake Edwards and Peter Sellers were seemingly a match made in heaven. The slapstick comic skills of Sellers were a perfect fit with Edwards' flair for directing physical comedy, and in 1964 they joined up for the first time to make The Pink Panther, a comedy about the theft of a diamond with a flaw shaped like a panther.

It featured Sellers as Inspector Jacques Clouseau, a bumbling fool whose talent for finding creative ways to cause slapstick mayhem made the film a huge hit. This was fortunate for the sequel A Shot in the Dark, which was filmed back-to-back with Panther and released just a few months later. Despite the success of both films, Edwards showed remarkable restraint by not wearing down the formula and instead, he went on to other projects.

In the ensuing ten years, Edwards and Sellers reunited only once for the 1968 comedy The Party. However, after a long string of flops, Edwards was eager to return to the Pink Panther series, and the next two films, Return of the Pink Panther and The Pink Panther Strikes Again, were released in the mid-'70s to appreciative audiences.

However, it soon became apparent that there was a reason the series initially stopped production. By the time the fifth entry in the franchise came around, Revenge of the Pink Panther, it was obvious that Edwards had run out of ideas. Sellers was reduced to tired gags that had already been done to death, and the film even had to pretend that Strikes Again never happened so Herbert Lom's long-suffering Chief Inspector Dreyfus could be brought back. However, the good name of the series still made the film a modest success.

The studio wanted to continue the franchise, and made plans for a new film called Romance of the Pink Panther. However, in 1980, tragedy struck with the death of Peter Sellers. You'd think this would have ended the series, but Blake Edwards insisted he could make a new Pink Panther film work. He proceeded to slap together some old scenes, deleted scenes, and new footage to make our current subject, Trail of the Pink Panther.

Amazingly, even after this film was a huge flop, Edwards couldn't take a hint and made two more Pink Panther films—one starring Ted Wass (who eventually became famous as the dad on Blossom), and the other with the one and only Roberto Benigni filling in for Sellers—before finally giving it up.

The film begins in some vague Third World country that the film doesn't bother to identify with a caption. I'll just put in a little spoiler here and say that it's Lugash, where the Pink Panther diamond is kept. The camera begins meaninglessly on some guy in a tower, before panning down to reveal the whole city. In the background is what the closed captions refer to as "Muezzin chants", though I have no idea what that is and it never becomes important.

There's a quick cut to the Pink Panther diamond in a display case somewhere. Pan down to a hole being cut in the floor, and a black garbed cat burglar comes up through the hole. Yes, it seems the gem is being stolen for the third time. And, I might point out, the security around it has decreased considerably since Return. The thief simply opens the display case, picks up the diamond, and goes back down the hole. You'd think, if anything, the diamond would now be even harder to steal, but of course, the plot needs to proceed somehow.

After the shortest and most lifeless teaser in the history of the series, we go to the opening credits. As usual, these feature a cartoon version of Inspector Clouseau and his run-ins with the silent Pink Panther character, who was so popular at one point he got his own show. [Not to mention a lucrative endorsement deal with Owens Corning that continues to this day, despite a highly publicized incident involving cocaine and hookers. Or maybe I'm thinking of someone else. —2006 Albert]

The credits begin with a nice dedication which reads, "To Peter, the one and only Inspector Clouseau." I imagine this is partly a dig at the 1968 film Inspector Clouseau, which featured Alan Arkin in the title role after Sellers declined. Too bad Blake Edwards later forgot this himself, so he could continue to run the series into the ground with Wass and Benigni.

The credits themselves are pretty low key compared to the zesty ones from the previous films. There's some strangeness here with a dated Pac-Man reference, that has chomping, disembodied Inspector and Pink Panther heads chasing each other around. Also, we see a mildly amusing gag where they make it seem as though a chunk of hair got caught in the projector, only to have the Pink Panther yank it out. But truly, the most bizarre moment comes when the Inspector appears to urinate a credit [!] before it's revealed that the liquid comes from a spray can. I can't imagine what the animators thought they were doing here, but whatever it is, it doesn't work.

The film proper begins with a deleted scene from Strikes Again. Now, it goes without saying that the best parts of this movie involve Sellers himself. But there's naturally an air of morbidity over each of his scenes that limits any potential enjoyment. And on top of that, Edwards didn't seem to realize that there are reasons some scenes are deleted.

Here, without any context at all, Clouseau goes into a costume shop. The proprietor, Auguste (played by Harvey Korman), addresses him as Inspector, but Clouseau corrects him that he is now Chief Inspector, after the institutionalization of Dreyfus. This instantly dates the scene as coming from another movie, because the movie we're watching now supposedly takes place long after Clouseau assumed the title.

Clouseau learns his new disguise is ready, and asks about the latex noses in the window. Auguste tells him they're second-rate, then immediately contradicts himself by saying, "You always did have a nose for noses!" He brings in a box of noses, and has Clouseau try on a particularly ugly one. He says the nose is called "The Way We Were", part of "the Streisand line", and I admit, I laughed. However, as the scene doesn't really belong here, any laughs are meaningless.

Auguste's helper tries to put a costume on Clouseau (the hunchback costume also seen in Strikes Again, another indication of where this scene really comes from), but he gets in the way. Auguste's response is to push him to the floor and kick him in the head. And this is supposed to be funny?

Clouseau tries on another nose called "Wino and Roses". Auguste tries to talk him into buying it, but instantly acquiesces when it also doesn't meet with Clouseau's approval. Finally, there's a nose called the "Inky Dinky Doo", presumably after Jimmy Durante, although I don't see any resemblance. Clouseau likes it, and next Auguste tries to find an appropriate wig.

First is a British judge's wig, which for some reason doesn't really seem to go with a hunchback costume. Next up is a plain disheveled wig, which Clouseau likes. A set of crooked false teeth complete the picture, and Clouseau is so overjoyed that he hugs Auguste. This might have been funny, if all the laughs at the sight of the costume hadn't been already used up six years earlier.

There's a brief interlude with a guy outside in a car, being told via CB radio to follow Clouseau. Gee, could this bit have been filmed much later than the rest of the scene? Back inside the shop, Auguste calls his wife Martha down. He does this with one of those old-fashioned tubes used to talk between floors. First he has to blow the dust out, presumably into his wife's face. They must use this tube all the time, so I don't know why there's so much dust on the thing.

Martha comes down and, rather unbelievably, doesn't recognize Clouseau at first, supposedly because of how good the disguise is. Clouseau reveals himself, then insults Martha's nose, which is so disgusting he assumes it's also fake. After learning it's real, he simply says, "It suits you!" This bit was almost funny, until Martha bought into Clouseau's complete reveral, even though he called her nose "revolting" two seconds ago. A moment later, Auguste goes into the back room for "stumps", and Martha abuses the costume guy a little herself for no apparent reason.

Auguste turns on some circus music and comes back out wearing high platform shoes, which he says give the wearer added authority and excruciating pain all at the same time. Clouseau's interested in owning them, so Auguste tells him to come back later for a specially made pair. Once Clouseau leaves, Auguste collapses and says, "I've never been in such pain!" Martha asks if she can kiss it and make it better, but Auguste tells her it "doesn't hurt that bad!" Oh well, I guess one laugh is all I'll be getting out of this scene. Which is more than I can say for the rest of the film.

Now we get some new footage, with news anchor Marie Jouvet (played by former The New Avengers star, and future Absolutely Fabulous star Joanna Lumley) on TV talking about the Pink Panther diamond being stolen yet again. We then get a history lesson about the diamond for a couple of minutes that has nothing to do with anything. Hey, you've got to fill up screen time any way you can when your star is dead.

We soon see that a French police commissioner is watching the report on TV, but he turns it off when he learns "Chief Inspector Dreyfus" is there to see him. So, we're supposed to pretend that we didn't just hear Clouseau repeatedly refer to himself as Chief Inspector? Alrighty, then.

They have a little chat about the diamond, making the news report even more superfluous. Dreyfus learns that the president of Lugash has personally requested "Inspector" Clouseau to work on the case, which starts the familiar eye twitch facial tic that Dreyfus gets every time somebody mentions Clouseau. This ends almost immediately, so I guess Herbert Lom just wasn't up to the kind of extended bit we saw in previous films.

Dreyfus is unsuccessful in getting a different inspector on the case, and eventually the commissioner tells him his finger is in a bottle of ink. This is a bit of a comedown from the days where he'd chop his thumb off, or stab himself with a letter opener. In what can be seen as symbolic of this entire movie's existence, Dreyfus pulls his finger out of the ink and inadvertently flips off the camera.

In another deleted scene, Clouseau reads a newspaper, with copious shots inserted to make it appear he's reading about the latest theft of the Pink Panther diamond. He lights a pipe, and in doing so manages to set the newspaper on fire, along with the carpet in his office. He attempts to put the fire out, and this actually does incite some mild laughs, so I'll leave it to you to discover the intricacies of this scene for yourself. After the office sprinklers are finally set off, Dreyfus comes in during what I suspect is more new footage, as he and Sellers are not seen in the same shot together. Dreyfus does some more twitching, and then we say goodbye to the funny stuff for a while.

Next, Dreyfus visits his psychiatrist and gives us a very half-hearted diatribe against Clouseau, which contains the kind of stuff we've heard a dozen times before in this series. The sole originality comes when he unknowingly lapses into the lyrics of the old jazz standard "You Go to My Head", and the shrink gets confused about who wrote the song. Unfortunately, the new material gives the same impression as the old stuff: No one really cared anymore.

Thankfully we go back to Clouseau, pointlessly reading a newspaper at his desk while lighting a cigar. Then—uh-oh, here comes comedy!—he puts the giant, cylindrical lighter, which is still lit, back into his drawer. The commissioner comes in, and there's a supposed-to-be funny bit where Clouseau spills some cigars out of the box.

The commissioner hands him a newspaper and says, "Read this most carefully and give me your opinion." Clouseau responds, "I will read my opinion and give you yours most carefully." Let's just say it's no "You killed him in a rit of fealous jage." The commissioner opens Clouseau's drawer, and of course, discovers a huge fire. This sets the sprinklers off yet again, and for some reason we cut to the sprinklers going off in a room where Dreyfus' assistant Francois is typing something.

Now things really get confusing. In new footage meant to blend in with the deleted scene that's coming up, an obvious stand-in for Peter Sellers walks down a street carrying grocery bags, and is distracted by an attractive woman going the other way. He then trips over a dog's leash. He gets up and some birdseed-like stuff starts spilling out through a hole in his grocery bag, and Clou-faux doesn't notice. Frankly, this seems just a little out of character. Meanwhile, we see that the guy from outside the costume shop is indeed following Clouseau as ordered, not that anything will ever come of this.