Up in the cockpit, Co-Pilot apologizes about the earlier "gloom". Oh, is that what he calls being a dick? Cody's already over it, and he describes Josh's plan about the XU-5. The oddest thing is that here Cody calls it "Columbia's XU-5" [??], which makes absolutely no sense. I'm assuming the line was supposed to be "NASA's XU-5", but I'm the only person who stayed awake through this movie long enough to catch the mistake.

Anyway, Cody repeats that XU-5 will be their heat shield for re-entry if they "stay close enough". By the way, what happened to NASA's creativity when it came to naming Shuttles? First Enterprise, then Columbia, then... XU-5? Huh?

Co-Pilot mentions there's a chance both ships will be taken out by this maneuver. And he actually says that "Columbia's not big enough" [??]. Now, is it XU-5, Columbia, or Columbia's XU-5? I have no idea what's going on, and I suspect neither did any of the filmmakers. Cody says Starflight's "wingtips will burn", but she'll get through.

But there's more complications. It turns out Bodish's estimates on the amount of oxygen left were a little too optimistic, and Starflight doesn't have enough to make it to re-entry. (And that's about the only time you'll see "Bodish" and "optimistic" in the same sentence.) Bodish then suggests dumping about three people to make the oxygen last. What, just shove them out of the airlock? You're such a guy, Bodish.

Cody agrees with me. "Look, don't ever stand where I can see you, Bodish. Because if you do, I'll tear you in half, so help me God!" Cody then begs someone to get "that damn guy" out of the control room, "because I don't want to hear his voice again!" Heh! I'm really starting to like that Cody. I mean, between hating Bodish and all that selective honesty, we have a lot in common.

In response, Middle-Aged Son goes through the glass doors and yells at Bodish. I can't hear what he's saying, but as long as it's loud and makes Bodish feel bad about himself, I'm in total agreement.

Then there's a blatant re-use of the same stock footage of Columbia landing yet again. This only serves to let us know that all the passengers made it back safely. Yes, even Frenchie. Back on Starflight, Cody has all remaining passengers and crew brought up to the cockpit, and the room is sealed off. Then a bit is made out of Cody jettisoning the airlock, which looks an awful lot like someone just tossed an empty soda can out of one of Starflight's windows.

Meanwhile, two sweaty, fatigued flight attendants sit together, struggling to breathe. It turns out Joe has connected a hose to the spacesuit's air tank in order to supplement the oxygen supply in the cockpit. So the two hot, sweaty stewardesses eagerly suck from Joe's hose. And I have not written a dirtier sentence than that, ever.

Joe passes the hose around, while NASA Guy recaps the XU-5 plan. Co-Pilot picks up Cody's lucky fishing hat and tells him to put it on. Although, I'm not sure how "lucky" this hat is, considering he was wearing it when they got into this mess in the first place. Regardless, a big dramatic moment is made of Cody slapping the ugly thing back on his head.

At Ground Control, Erica and Daughter enter the control room so they too can participate in the Re-Entry Vigil. At the same time, Starflight One waits to rendezvous with XU-5, and this part is drawn out like there's never going to be another movie made again in the whole history of the world. Eventually, another shuttle (and it's pretty obvious it's just the Columbia model again) cruises into the shot and gets in place in front of Starflight. After the two captains and NASA Guy exchange some technical navigational mumbo-jumbo (during which the commander of XU-5 sounds like he's reading his grocery list), Starflight prepares for re-entry.

On the ground, there's footage of emergency vehicles riding out onto the runway. I mean, nothing on this earth could be as mind-numbing as the emergency vehicle footage in Monster A-Go-Go, but let's just say I'm not exactly riveted by this sequence, either.

Starflight begins re-entry, and there's lots of intense yelling from Cody and Co-Pilot as the folks at Ground Control wait nervously, and the remaining people aboard Starflight hang onto each other. Cody and Co-Pilot look like they're on Back to the Future: The Ride as the cockpit bounces around mechanically. When the XU-5 re-enters the atmosphere, its turns bright red. The commander of the Shuttle helpfully tells Starflight, "You're getting roasted." By Dean Martin? Awesome!

Cody asks, "Wingtips?" Co-Pilot responds, "They're hot." And spicy. Would you like a side of bleu cheese or ranch with those? A red XU-5 and Starflight descend, with Starflight getting a little red and crispy around the edges.

Finally, the ships enter the atmosphere and Starflight fires its rockets. Cody announces they've completed re-entry and a mild celebration breaks out at Ground Control. QT, however, just looks pained. I don't know the exact reason, but I'm sure something about all of this is somehow costing him money.

But it doesn't look good when Cody reports that they're "losing the skin on the wingtips." Well, I hear that's healthier for you, anyway. Things instantly grow quiet and concerned at Ground Control. At Mission Control, NASA Girl says they're "dropping too fast". Suddenly, they lose radio contact with Starflight. For some reason, this prompts Janet to look concerned about Cody for the very first time. Nancy assures her that "Cody'll bring her down!"

Josh looks dispirited. He kisses his wife's hand and walks out. And here, for reasons of the blatant padding variety, we get a pointless sequence of Josh walking out of the hangar and wandering around the runway. For sheer tedium value, it almost rivals Klepto Mel wandering around in the woods for ten minutes in The Curse of the Screaming Dead. Basically, it's the same syndrome that afflicted the ending of When Time Ran Out..., in that having run out of complications and obstacles, the characters just stand around and wait for the movie to end.

Anyway, we see Erica and Janet give each other a Meaningful Look. I guess since they're both involved with Cody, we're supposed to just feel the tension between them. But, ultimately, this moment doesn't amount to anything. Move along now, nothing to see here.

Josh continues to walk. He looks at the ambulances. He stares at the sky. He walks some more. And remember that five o'clock shadow that mysteriously appeared on his face when he got to Ground Control? It's now mysteriously disappeared. Anyway, after nearly a minute of wandering around, Josh turns to walk back to the hangar. But just then, he hears a plane.

Yep, it's Starflight One coming in for a triumphant landing. Oh, and by the way, the take-off was at night, and the landing also happens to be at night. Imagine that.

The plane comes to a stop, and there's much jubilation at Ground Control. Except, of course, from QT and Janet, who both look morose. Janet walks over to Nancy. "Tell him, uh... tell him I stayed 'til I knew he was safe." Nancy kisses her on the cheek and Janet wanders out. Boy, you can tell Janet was really hoping for a different outcome. Anyway... sweet! There won't be any awkward moments with the annoying, bitter wife to bust up the tender reunion between Cody and Erica on the runway. Nice.

Cut to the lounge of Starflight, with everybody looking disheveled. Token Black Guy (see, I forgot his name already) snaps pictures as Cody walks out of the cockpit. Felix applauds, and Joe says something about finally seeing a rock that didn't sink. Cody offers to buy them all a drink.

Middle-Aged Son is on the runway, congratulating Josh. Then a van pulls up with all the survivors from Starflight One and everyone applauds. Cody gives Josh a handshake and a manly hug. He then spots Erica, and without a word, he goes over for that promised tender reunion, which actually features him putting his stupid fishing hat on her head. The orchestra swoops in as Erica smiles her gap-toothed smile, and Cody squeezes her tight. Aaaaand... fade out.

All in all, I have to say this was a pretty pointless film. I admit, there are worse movies on this website than this one. The special effects were pretty good for a TV movie, and even though the dialogue was stupid, maudlin, and clichéd, that doesn't make it much worse than any of the Airport movies. But all in all, Starflight One just reeks of being a bored (and boring) cash-in on a genre that had already come and gone.

I was mainly drawn to this film out of nostalgia (I dimly remember seeing it on ABC way back when it originally aired) and also, I was curious to see how a disaster movie would handle the concept of an airplane getting trapped in space. The filmmakers certainly didn't break new ground, but you have to give them some small credit for making a ludicrous idea seem not quite so ludicrous. It's a bad movie to be sure, but not as bad as it could have been, and certainly not one that I regret watching.

But having said all that, I'm still glad they never made Starflight Two.