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Blood Splattered Cinema
Hosted by: Horror Guru
The Horror Guru reviews the bloodiest, wildest, and weirdest horror that cinema has to offer!
Cartoon Palooza
Hosted by: Joey Tedesco
A satirical review show where a guy from Jersey watches and criticizes cartoons, including everything from comic books to animated movies. Whatever it is, Joey will either tell you to run out and see it... or fughetabouit!
The Count Jackula Show
Hosted by: Count Jackula
There are vampires, and there are men from outer space, but there is only one vampire from outer space! Join Count Jackula from the Planet Drakula as he explains the ins and outs of horror, from the mythic to the modern. Blood, off-color humor, and an obsession with Elvira are in store for you!
The Examined Life (of Gaming)
Hosted by: Roland Thompson
Just when video games were getting good, the late '90s and early '00s came along. The Examined Life (of Gaming) dares to delve into the good, the bad, and the value-priced games of this dark period, and sometimes we find something worth playing!
The Film Renegado
Hosted by: Film Renegado
Coming to you from south of the border, it's the Film Renegado! A civil engineer with a cinephile complex, the Film Renegado uses movies made in Mexico or by Mexican directors to share bits from his country's culture, past and present. You will both learn and be entertained! How cool is that?
Friday Night Fright Flicks
Hosted by: Count Jackula & Horror Guru
Welcome, fright knights, to Friday Night Fright Flicks! Join your hosts Count Jackula and the Horror Guru as they stumble their way through current horror releases, letting you know which ones are worth the price of admission.
Good Bad Flicks
Hosted by: Cecil Trachenburg
Good Bad Flicks is a show not only dedicated to rare movies, but also forgotten classics and misunderstood box office bombs. Your host Cecil takes you through each movie, discussing the promotional materials, and taking a look at what went on behind the scenes. With a healthy dose of Irish sarcasm, he throws a few jabs at even his most cherished favorites.
The Graphic Novel Picture Show
Hosted by: Sybil Pandemic
Your host Solkir presents The Graphic Novel Picture Show, a retrospective of the history of comic book movies!
The Movie Skewer
Hosted by: Team Agony Booth
From the makers of the Agony Booth™ comes The Movie Skewer, where terrible movies are roasted over an open flame for your enjoyment. Watch the very first online review/recap series that’s too much for one host to handle!
Mr. Mendo's Hack Attack
Hosted by: Michael A. Novelli
Need a healthy dose of cynicism from a guy whose face you can barely see? Then Mr. Mendo’s your man! Whether a movie suffers from Hype Backlash, Intellectual Dishonesty, or is just Complete Shit, Mr. Mendo is there. Mr. Mendo wasn‘t raised in this country, so he takes nothing for granted: if something ain‘t right, he’ll nose it out. So join him as he takes on Oscar winners and legendary flops alike in front of a blanket suspended between his couch and recliner!
Stuff You Like
Hosted by: Sursum Ursa
Stuff You Like is an original show where redhead Sursum Ursa waxes enthusiastic about movies, TV shows, and anything else that comes to mind! Expect singing, snarky subtitles, random pictures she finds on the internet, and lots of fangirling!
Terror Obscura
Hosted by: Fear Fan
Terror Obscura is a show dedicated to exploring the best and worst horror films ever made. While some shows are content to just mock bad films, this one isn't afraid to take even the most sacred of cows to the slaughterhouse. If you like horror, humor, or if you're just looking to find some titles you might want to rent, Terror Obscura is the show for you!
Tom's Retrophilia
Hosted by: Thomas Stockel
Is he a connoisseur of vintage media, or just a bitter old man trapped in the past?  Either way, tune in and watch Tom take a look at the movies and television shows from a time when he was actually in the target audience!
The Unusual Suspect
Hosted by: Unusual Suspect
The Unusual Suspect reviews popular movies, and tears 'em apart! They may be good, but no movie is perfect, and there's always things you may have overlooked and hadn't thought about. So join the Suspect as he exploits and ridicules the films you know and love. Just don't kill him for it!
What We Had to Watch
Hosted by: Il Neige
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the agony booth

Space Mutiny
Posted on: Sep 17, 2008.
Space Mutiny (1988)
Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
The Cast of Characters:
Reb Brown as David RyderDavid Ryder (Reb Brown). The Official Hero of the Film, who has the unfortunate tendency to let his battle yells stray into soprano levels.
Cameron Mitchell as Commander Alex JansenCommander Alex Jansen (Cameron Mitchell). Supposedly the leader of a multi-generational spaceship called the Southern Sun, but it's hard to picture him commanding a dog.
Cisse Cameron as Lea JansenLea Jansen (Cisse Cameron). Daughter of Commander Jansen, and wise beyond her years. Or rather, aged beyond her years. Is nevertheless foisted upon us as a sex object.
John Phillip Law as Elijah KalganElijah Kalgan (John Phillip Law). The head of security on the Southern Sun, and leader of the "space mutiny". His primary goal is to get off the ship. It's not at all clear what's stopping him.
James Ryan as MacPhearsonMacPhearson (James Ryan). Head of Engineering. Compensates for his crippling injury—which might just be a severed hamstring—with an overdeveloped hambone. Works undercover as Kalgan's right-hand man, until Kalgan blows his cover for no particular reason.
Graham Clarke as Captain Scott DeversCaptain Scott Devers (Graham Clarke). Has so much screen time, you almost don't notice he never does a damn thing.
Billy Second as Lt. LemontLt. Lemont (Billy Second). Quite likely the most competent person on the ship. As such, is doomed to a fate worse than death. Literally.
Madyelene Reynel, voiced by Camille Mitchell as JenneraJennera (Madyelene Reynel, voiced by Camille Mitchell). Leader of a group of mystical women called the Bellerians. The filmmakers would like you to believe they're an integral part of the story. The film itself may prove otherwise.
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Ah, Space Mutiny. Truly the stuff of legendary awfulness. Reportedly, the movie was filmed in South Africa, and if that's true, that would make it only the second worst thing to originate in that country.

If you've seen the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode featuring this movie, you already know what I mean. And if you haven't, then do yourself a favor and watch it. After you read this recap, of course.

MST3k's take on Space Mutiny is easily one of their best and most fondly remembered episodes. But there is a catch with a lot of episodes of MST3k (one happily avoided now that it's been partially reincarnated as RiffTrax - PLUG!): They often had to substantially edit movies to fit them into the show's running time.

So I've always wondered, what was left out of Space Mutiny? Would any of its incomprehensible scenes make some amount of sense, however slight, in the context of the uncut film? Or would it be one of those occasions where the MST3k gang actually helped out the film, cutting pointless filler in order to keep their own commentary from dragging?

Alas, I tried for years to obtain a VHS copy of the film without much luck, so I was left to wonder for over a decade. Then one day, I learned that this fabled piece of cinematic sci-fi dreck was at long last being released on DVD. Needless to say, I couldn't get my order in fast enough.

So this will be something of a dual-purpose recap. First and foremost, of course, will be the standard dissection of all the absurdities and inanities of the film proper. But at the same time—and this will be of greater interest to people closely familiar with the MST3k treatment—I'm going to attempt to evaluate whether the movie stands up better in its complete form, or if it's somehow even worse.

Two things are notable about the DVD cover. First, it's one of the few examples of a cover that actually mocks the movie inside. The front cover reads, "It's Hilarious... But Not On Purpose." I have to admit, it does take some of the fun out of ripping into a movie when you start out playing catch-up with the video box.

Second, the back cover contains not one, but two references to the MST3k episode, which just goes to show how much this movie owes to Best Brains for saving it from obscurity.

The movie kicks off with opening credits made by people whose ambition apparently far outstripped their competence. In 1988, computer graphics technology was just getting to the point where it was ready to be commonly used in films. Unfortunately, this movie was not made using 1988 computer graphics technology. 1978 technology is more like it.

Apart from the title of the movie, which comes up in a fairly aesthetic set of shaded metallic letters framed in red, the rest of the titles are pure black-and-white CRT crapola. Worse, they tried to get artsy with the credits, attempting to have them "whoosh" in from one side or the other, sometimes both. Unfortunately, they also used 1978 scaling technologies, so the letters in close-up are horrifically blocky.

This culminates in what's supposed to be a giant "W", resolving into the credit for producer David Winters, but it turns out to be, well, pretty much what he had coming for the job he did on this movie.

Caption contributed by Kevin

Amusingly, the credits for the actors forego the attempts at graphical flashiness that accompany every other title (including the word "Starring"). When it comes to the cast, their names appear in the plainest, most ordinary font possible. You have to wonder if the guys who did the titles were trying to warn us about something here.

The movie proper opens with pretentious narration, which I don't think anyone should find the least bit surprising. In brief, the narrator tells us the story of a generational spacecraft called the Southern Sun, or, as I like to call it, Golgafrinchan Ark Fleet Ship B. Trust me, the events of this movie make a lot more sense if you think of the characters as descendants of the most useless third of their homeworld's population.

Actually, as sci-fi premises go, they could have picked worse. The idea of a spaceship on a journey that will take generations (something only briefly even discussed on Star Trek: Voyager) has enough fertile ground for plenty of original storytelling. That being said, the whole concept of a generational ship carries with it a necessary premise: The colonists have to be putting themselves through this because A) they only have one place to go, and B) there's no other way to get there.

But as we'll quickly see, the section of galaxy the Southern Sun is cruising through is more built-up than the northern suburbs of Dallas. People come and go from the ship pretty much as they please, and fleets of friends and enemies alike spring up everywhere. As a result, these colonists, stodgily remaining on the Southern Sun for a journey that won't end in their lifetimes, begin to look pretty retarded.

And doubly retarded is the notion that anyone would need to go to all the trouble of staging a mutiny just to get off the ship. A "space" mutiny, if you will.

Speaking of which, let's meet our main villain and future space mutineer, Elijah Kalgan. He's played by the late John Phillip Law, whose most famous role, ironically enough, was as an angel. I'm sure he wished that "no memory" thing applied to this movie as well. He's stalking around what will be the all-purpose set for at least half the movie: a random industrial factory.

Caption contributed by Kevin
"Where in the... oh, I knew I should have taken that left turn at Aldeberan!"

Trailing behind Kalgan is a man in orange fiberglass armor, who bears quite a resemblance to a young Ricky Schroeder. This entirely unthreatening fellow is for some reason credited as "Kalgan's Bodyguard", even though he never actually does anything resembling the job description. Kalgan plants a plastic explosive (which is credible enough as a low-budget prop, I guess) on one of the many large pieces of rusting machinery in the room.

Cut to the bridge of the Southern Sun, which is filled with the customary uniformed officers sitting at computer consoles. Lt. Lemont, a woman with dark, frizzy hair, listens patiently as a mix of computerish and human voices inform her that a shuttle is arriving. Onboard this shuttle is a group of refugees known as Bellerians.

Caption contributed by Kevin
"Yeah, we're on bridge duty, but that doesn't mean we're going to miss Desperate Housewives!"

Lt. Lemont acknowledges this chatter not at all, apart from pressing a couple of buttons. The reason for the strange lack of interaction—in this scene, and many others throughout the film—is obvious when you finally figure it out: the Bellerians are not actually part of this movie.

Watch carefully. Apart from a handful of spliced-in bits involving one character, the scenes involving the Bellerians have no connection to, and involve no other characters from, the rest of the movie.

I can only speculate as to the motives behind this, but I see two possibilities: one, they shot extra footage to patch over some of the more glaring plot holes in the movie, and two, they were trying to add sexual overtones to the movie, because the original effort just wasn't cutting it. But that's getting a bit ahead of things.

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