Then it's back to the Drive Thru Speaker. After several abrupt shots of Butterface that are only partially in focus (Although, it's kind of hard to tell. Is she blurry, or is it just her eyes?), the Speaker tells us that Pauli Girl felt "trapped about the marriage" to ODB, but "she had decided to go through with it, only to help me!"

We then see Susan B. Mole telling Pauli Girl that "I know he is an older man. But he is very rich!" Hey, what more do you need?

Pauli Girl wants to know why she can't just stay with Mrs. Mole forever, and the mole starts bitching that her "store of food and things left by my husband is running out!" Apparently, Pauli has quickly been eating her way through it all. Well, what did you expect? When you get stoned, you get hungry.

Pauli Girl cries, "Oh dear! I didn't know I had been imposing on you! Isn't there something I can do to help?" Mrs. Mole suddenly backpedals, mentioning how Pauli has been helping out by doing the dishes, and the laundry, and some other chores. Talk about doing a real passive-aggressive number on her head.

Mrs. Mole tells her to "seriously consider ODB's offer." She adds, "Most girls would be flattered!" But a significant minority would be utterly repulsed. Pauli Girl then cops another attitude. "Oh, I am flattered, don't misunderstand me! It's just that, well, I thought love and romance were beautiful things! Not just a practical affair!"

Mole Steinem warns that "once you get as old as I am, you realize that one has to be practical!" Mrs. Mole says Pauli should marry ODB, and "that way, I will know you will be taken care of... FOREVER." Oh, there's nothing ominous-sounding about that at all. On that note, Mrs. Mole says it's time for bed and leaves.

Pauli Girl unfortunately treats us to another song before bed entitled "Flower Child". "Who would want to be a mole's wife?" she musically asks. I dunno, maybe Bonnie Hannsen could tell you. "And live here underground? Who would want to lead a mole's life, where flowers are never found?" The amazing choreography on display here is limited to her sitting up in bed, and then leaning on her elbow.

"I have to feel the wind and rain, I have to feel the sun again, because I am a flooowwwwer child!" And yes, she does sing these lyrics so that "rain" rhymes with "again". "Who would want to dig a tunnel?" she sings. "In some dark, moldy place? When you could be where the sun, oh, shines warmly upon your face! I have to hear the robin sing, and see the swallow on the wing, because I am floooowwwwwer chiiiiiiiild!"

The song ends and Pauli Girl says to herself, "If I could just fly away!" This reminds her of that dead bird, "lying in the passageway, frozen, his eyes staring up at the sky he can no longer see!" This dialogue is so natural sounding, isn't it? She decides to bring her blanket over and cover him up.

Out in the tunnel, she gets down on her knees next to Dead Bird and embraces his birdie corpse. "Poor bird! I brought the blanket to cover you, so people won't stare!" Yeah, I mean, can't he decompose in peace? As she puts her head against him, she detects "a very faint heartbeat! Perhaps Mr. Bird is not completely frozen!" Um, how does she know his name is "Mr. Bird"? She says, "Maybe this blanket, and my warmth, will thaw his cold blood!"

Sure enough, Mr. Bird's eyelids start to flutter. The Drive Thru Speaker explains that Pauli "gradually nursed her new friend back to health!" Meanwhile, we get to see that same shot of Butterface tilting her head to the left.

Then we cut back to Mr. Bird, and according to the Speaker, he "of course was grateful! And so was Pauli Girl! It took her mind off her marriage to ODB!" And thus, a torrid affair began. She was a mutant miniature girl, he was a freakish bird, but they were made for each other! When they were together, sparks flew! Tiny little sparks!

Then we cut to Pauli Girl on the day before her wedding. She's wearing her wedding dress while Mrs. Mole makes adjustments. Mrs. Mole implores her to smile because, "This is the time a girl should be happy! Not sad!" Pauli replies, "Oh, if there were just someone younger! Or someone who was handsome!" What a shallow little slut!

She says she wishes she could marry a man "who is a human being, like I am!" Yeah, but we can't have everything. Mrs. Mole nags that "it has really gone too far now to disappoint ODB! I thought you had decided weeks ago that it was the best thing to do!" Pauli Girl says it is, but laments, "If only ODB were a little younger!" A little?

The dress is finished, so Pauli Girl walks off screen to put her St. Pauli Girl dress back on. Mrs. Mole tells her to go out in the sunlight because "There aren't very many days you can enjoy things like that anymore." Oh, sure, rub it in. Pauli replies that she'll go outside right after she checks on Not Quite Dead Bird.

Mrs. Mole calls him a "silly bird" and wishes that "he would up and fly away!" Pauli Girl insists he's not silly, and that the two of them are tight. Apparently, they've bonded on the whole "loving the blue sky and the forest" trip. Mrs. Mole says the bird's not "practical" and that he "nearly lost his life because he was caught in the early snow!" Pauli Girl sticks up for him, saying, "He didn't realize how late in the year it got!" I mean, you can't blame him for stuff he did when he was high.

Pauli Girl says Mr. Bird was just caught up in the blue sky and trees and forest and bushes and all that other stuff ODB can't sympathize with. Mrs. Mole is all like, "whatevah" and gives her some seeds to take to Half Past Dead Bird.

Cut to ODB in his cave, wearing a tux with a red carnation. "You're an old rascal!" he says, chuckling to himself. Emphasis on the "old" part. "Whoever thought that you'd end up with a byooty-full young wife? Maybe all the hard years of work were worth it!" Yes, we all should be so lucky to one day end up with a Butterface all our own.

"I'm gonna make her happy!" he cries. "She may be missing romance, but she's done the best thing for herself. Romance is for the young boys! There's nothing practical about it at all!" And this guy wonders why he has so much trouble getting laid. "Oh, Pauli Girl," he says, "You have made me very happy!" He then starts humming the Wedding March again. The poor schmuck.

Meanwhile, Pauli Girl is heading to her illicit bird tryst. She gets to their rendezvous spot in the cave, and he's not there. Pauli cries, "My friend is gone!" Ha ha! And you deserved it, you shallow little bimbo! She picks up the blanket and begins singing again, and the choreography here is limited to Pauli Girl just standing in place.

"Swallow, fly away," she sings, "Swallow, fly away, to the sunshine land. Where the flowers grow, and the children play, on the golden sand!" Yeah, blah blah blah. During the instrumental break, she stops to pick up a white feather and a blue feather, which she stuffs in the waist of her dress. Oh man, ODB is gonna beat the shit out of her when he sees that. Or maybe she's just saving them for their honeymoon. Ew. Yeah, I just grossed myself out again.

Then we get more singing. "Swallow, fly away, come another day, when the spring's at hand. How I wish that I, knew a way to fly, to the sunshine land. To the sunshine land, to the sunshine land, swallow, fly awaaaaaaay!" And this last note is so far out of Butterface's range, it's traumatic. The song finally ends and she walks off, which by far was the most interesting choreography in the whole number.

Back at Mrs. Mole's place, the future Mrs. ODB comes in moping. Mrs. Mole asks what happened, and Pauli Girl says, "My bird is gone! He has flown away!" Mrs. Mole totally rubs it all in her face, saying, "That is all the thanks you get! You nurse him back to health, and then he leaves without even saying goodbye! I told you these birds are silly, thankless things!"

Then, as if this weren't bad enough, Mrs. Mole tells her to "run out and play, because tomorrow is going to be your wedding day!" There's just so much that's really icky and wrong about that sentence that I don't even know where to begin.

Mopey Pauli Girl heads outside and again wanders around the same big mushroom from every other outdoor scene. I find it amazing that she can't find her way home, since it appears she's been on the same damn set for the whole movie.

The Speaker says Pauli "must have been extremely happy to hear Mr. Bird's voice!" and right on cue, Mr. Bird yells out to her. She finds him standing nearby, and gives him a hug. He says, "I have been trying my wings! I feel much stronger now!" Now I can eat you!

He notices that something is wrong. Pauli gripes that tomorrow's her wedding day, and that her future husband "is old and ugly, and wants to live underground all the time!" Then, more bitching ensues about not being able to see the forest and the sky and clouds blah blah blah and GET OVER IT ALREADY! I'M SICK OF HEARING ABOUT IT!

Mr. Bird asks if she really loves ODB. "No, I don't love him," Pauli Girl says. "I respect him!" [!!] Please, someone remind me. This movie is supposed to be for kids, right? Pauli says she has no choice, because Mrs. Mole "is just too old to continue my support!" Then she makes an adorable little pouty face with her hand under her chin. Actually, I'm just pretending that this is adorable for the sake of my own sanity.

Mr. Bird suggests that instead of getting married, she could "go away!" Hey, there's an idea. She protests that she doesn't know "the world" and that if she went somewhere else, "a worse fate would befall me!" Mr. Bird the Lifestyle Counselor says he gets around, what with all that migrating stuff he does, so he's seen "many places and towns where they have people. People like you!" Shallow people?

She brings up how her Spinster Bostonian Mom was a person, too, but she was lot bigger. Mr. Bird says, "I know. But a mole is not even the same thing!" He says she must find "a human being to marry!" I guess bestiality is just now starting to fall out of fashion in the forest.

He says he's taking her with him, "and we are going south!" Wait, I thought they were already in the South. I mean, where else can a girl marry a frog or a mole?

Mr. Bird says that Pauli Girl saved his life, "And now I am going to try to help you." Help you into my stomach, that is. Pauli Girl says Mrs. Mole "would worry", but Mr. Bird is all like, "Screw that bitch. After all the things she said about me? I'll show her who's thankless." No, actually, what Mr. Bird says is, "Mrs. Mole only wants you to be happy!"

He then promises that when they've found "the proper place for you", he's going to "fly back here and tell her what happened!" Wow! No awkward goodbyes or anything! Pauli Girl asks, "And you will tell Mr. Mole that I didn't mean to hurt his feelings or anything? Or insult him?" Okay, his name is Mr. Digger, not "Mr. Mole". I mean, why on earth would he be insulted?