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TV Episode Reviews & Recaps
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Blood Splattered Cinema
Hosted by: Horror Guru
The Horror Guru reviews the bloodiest, wildest, and weirdest horror that cinema has to offer!
Cartoon Palooza
Hosted by: Joey Tedesco
A satirical review show where a guy from Jersey watches and criticizes cartoons, including everything from comic books to animated movies. Whatever it is, Joey will either tell you to run out and see it... or fughetabouit!
The Count Jackula Show
Hosted by: Count Jackula
There are vampires, and there are men from outer space, but there is only one vampire from outer space! Join Count Jackula from the Planet Drakula as he explains the ins and outs of horror, from the mythic to the modern. Blood, off-color humor, and an obsession with Elvira are in store for you!
The Examined Life (of Gaming)
Hosted by: Roland Thompson
Just when video games were getting good, the late '90s and early '00s came along. The Examined Life (of Gaming) dares to delve into the good, the bad, and the value-priced games of this dark period, and sometimes we find something worth playing!
The Film Renegado
Hosted by: Film Renegado
Coming to you from south of the border, it's the Film Renegado! A civil engineer with a cinephile complex, the Film Renegado uses movies made in Mexico or by Mexican directors to share bits from his country's culture, past and present. You will both learn and be entertained! How cool is that?
Friday Night Fright Flicks
Hosted by: Count Jackula & Horror Guru
Welcome, fright knights, to Friday Night Fright Flicks! Join your hosts Count Jackula and the Horror Guru as they stumble their way through current horror releases, letting you know which ones are worth the price of admission.
Good Bad Flicks
Hosted by: Cecil Trachenburg
Good Bad Flicks is a show not only dedicated to rare movies, but also forgotten classics and misunderstood box office bombs. Your host Cecil takes you through each movie, discussing the promotional materials, and taking a look at what went on behind the scenes. With a healthy dose of Irish sarcasm, he throws a few jabs at even his most cherished favorites.
The Graphic Novel Picture Show
Hosted by: Sybil Pandemic
Your host Solkir presents The Graphic Novel Picture Show, a retrospective of the history of comic book movies!
The Movie Skewer
Hosted by: Team Agony Booth
From the makers of the Agony Booth™ comes The Movie Skewer, where terrible movies are roasted over an open flame for your enjoyment. Watch the very first online review/recap series that’s too much for one host to handle!
Mr. Mendo's Hack Attack
Hosted by: Michael A. Novelli
Need a healthy dose of cynicism from a guy whose face you can barely see? Then Mr. Mendo’s your man! Whether a movie suffers from Hype Backlash, Intellectual Dishonesty, or is just Complete Shit, Mr. Mendo is there. Mr. Mendo wasn‘t raised in this country, so he takes nothing for granted: if something ain‘t right, he’ll nose it out. So join him as he takes on Oscar winners and legendary flops alike in front of a blanket suspended between his couch and recliner!
Stuff You Like
Hosted by: Sursum Ursa
Stuff You Like is an original show where redhead Sursum Ursa waxes enthusiastic about movies, TV shows, and anything else that comes to mind! Expect singing, snarky subtitles, random pictures she finds on the internet, and lots of fangirling!
Terror Obscura
Hosted by: Fear Fan
Terror Obscura is a show dedicated to exploring the best and worst horror films ever made. While some shows are content to just mock bad films, this one isn't afraid to take even the most sacred of cows to the slaughterhouse. If you like horror, humor, or if you're just looking to find some titles you might want to rent, Terror Obscura is the show for you!
Tom's Retrophilia
Hosted by: Thomas Stockel
Is he a connoisseur of vintage media, or just a bitter old man trapped in the past?  Either way, tune in and watch Tom take a look at the movies and television shows from a time when he was actually in the target audience!
The Unusual Suspect
Hosted by: Unusual Suspect
The Unusual Suspect reviews popular movies, and tears 'em apart! They may be good, but no movie is perfect, and there's always things you may have overlooked and hadn't thought about. So join the Suspect as he exploits and ridicules the films you know and love. Just don't kill him for it!
What We Had to Watch
Hosted by: Il Neige
Il Neige is a smart-ass with a love-hate relationship with movies from the new millennium. Sure, reviews can be fun or cathartic, but there's also the risk of the occasional Twi-hard invasion or fireball to the face! ...That's how these things usually go, right? So join Il Neige as he braves the cinematic dangers that lie just beyond the fourth wall to critique the best and worst of 21st century filmmaking!
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the agony booth
Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008) Movie Recap Page 5 of 7
Posted by Michael A. Novelli Posted on: December 27, 2009
Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Oh good, more crazy antics from Pavi. The geneterns attach a new mask to his head and sing about how they have nice breasts, while Luigi storms around demanding coffee. It’s like The Tudors, only with more prancing. The poor quality of the coffee they have at the Renaissance Fair sends Luigi into yet another murderous rampage, which is only stopped by the appearance of Blind Mag, who finally joins the story—only to get a face full of Paris Hilton’s blind ambition (sorry, no pun intended) for her trouble. Seems Amber wants to replace Mag as the headliner of the Genetic Opera, but her presence sets the two brothers off and Mag is able to duck out, while Rotti, with his underage date (so—Shilo said yes? Okay then), arrives to send them to their rooms.

Caption contributed by Mark
It’s really important to make sure your eyeliner is hypoallergenic.

Quick question, if I told you that Blind Mag was about to get her own cartoon backstory, would you laugh or just put me out of my misery?

Blah blah blah, Mag and Shilo’s mother were friends, Momma uses her connection to Rotti’s penis to get Mag some new eyes, Mag becomes a popular singer, becomes GeneCo’s spokeswoman, and wow, we actually made it back to the present in record time. I’m slowly but surely regaining the will to live.

The article continues after this advertisement...

Nothing of note happens for the next few minutes. Repo repos some dude hanging from his foot. Rotti has a press conference/ribbon-cutting ceremony at the Opera house, which is hijacked by the most screamingly gay man I’ve ever seen, which is nothing more than an excuse to remind the viewer about Zydrate addiction, for which Amber Sweet runs, “ironically”, a treatment center.

Rotti introduces Amber onto the stage, but Amber is a no-show. She’s ducked out of the press conference to feed her own addiction, for which we get, you guessed it, a cartoon backstory about how she’s getting plastic surgery just to score more often. Of course, she still buys it off the street, like a normal celebrity.

Socrates was a firm believer in teaching by asking, “Why?” In related news, Darren Lynn Bousman is a firm believer in teaching by asking, “Would you be capable of figuring this out without me here to hold your hand?”

Caption contributed by Mark
Rotti decides to screw his kids and Shilo and leave GeneCo to his “special friend”.

Amazingly enough, this time the shift back to live action doesn’t herald unnecessary flashbacks. They’re learning!

Meanwhile, during all this Shilo was dragged off to a side tent with blood-covered operator and/or barber stuff in it. Why is she taken there? Who knows? She has a conversation with Repo Dad on her wrist phone, in which she’s hiding that she’s not in her room and he’s hiding that he’s slicing open some loser’s guts.

Graverobber shows up, for no real reason other than via the Power of Scriptwriting, and sneaks Shilo out of the tent. So her being in that tent sure was important.

Caption contributed by Mark
”Have you seen our egress? Better hurry before Repo rips out its colon.”

The alleyway we’ve landed in is fittingly low key for a movie, full of prostitutes who look like Joel Schumacher picked their clothes for them, maybe, but it’s progress, and the new Graverobber song is actually a little catchy. Damn if the melody doesn’t sound familiar, though, but I can’t quite put my finger on it...

Graverobber: Zydrate comes in a little glass vial.
Shilo: A little glass vial?
Hookers: A little glass vial!
Graverobber: And this little glass vial goes into the gun like a battery.

Wait a minute. They stole that from the Muffin Man. The Muffin Man? The Muffin Man! The stole it from the Muffin Man, which... dammit...

Caption contributed by Mark
After 413,983 performances, Cats started to stray a little from its original conceptualization.

Amber enters in full dominatrix mode, two love slaves in tow, and basically repeats everything that Graverobber sang until the chorus, where Graverobber chirps in that she’s addicted to the knife. Addicted to the knife? Addict... get out of my head, movie! He injects her inner thighs, as her mind’s eye flashes to various rooms where she’s getting humped by women in their underwear. Should I be more disturbed that this is what wealthy heiresses think about when they’re high, or the fact that this is apparently my ex’s favorite movie?

Well played, Bousman, you’ve somehow made violence and lesbians boring.

Graverobber whistles along with the background music, which Shilo recognizes as one of Blind Mag’s many hits. This sets Amber off, who lets slip that Mag is next on the chopping block for Repo Man. Graverobber, displaying the omniscience required to fill the role of narrator, fills us in on Rotti’s decision to take back her eyes because she decided to take her voice elsewhere. Since science has shown that it is impossible to sing without any eyeballs, it’s a bonny plan.

The cops show up, Graverobber and Shilo escape to the graveyard, Shilo goes home, we near the halfway mark, and Rotti calls Repo to his office, where he delivers a bag of organs which are most definitely not the spinal column he fetched on his last job. (We’re still in the whole “not a lot happens for a few minutes” part, so I won’t be offended if you’re not paying keen attention just now.)

The Largo brood dump the Blind Mag job in Repo’s lap, but his conscience won’t allow him to kill his wife’s best friend. This is the same conscience that let him dismember and make a puppet out of a complete stranger mere feet from where his daughter sleeps, but hey, at least he refuses to mercilessly slaughter people he actually knows.

Caption contributed by Mark
”I don’t want to repo! I want to bake apple pandowdies!”
“No, no, no! Stick to the stuff you know!”

And, of course, all it takes is the dispatching of another faceless victim and Repo’s all stoked and tripping all over himself to get the job done. And then he just as quickly changes his mind again. I’m not even going to make a joke; I will, however, point out that if any of you ever get a yen to study World War II, this recap makes a perfect metaphor for the Battle of Ramree Island, if you imagine that I’m a Japanese soldier and Repo! The Genetic Opera is a swamp full of saltwater crocodiles.

Blind Mag pulls up to Shilo’s house. She has flanking flunkies, too, bedecked in sky-high Marie Antoinette wigs and black lace surgical masks. Okay, you’re one kooky movie, aren’t you?

Something from Madonna’s pre-Ray of Light period, as performed by Gloria Estefan, kicks in as Mag and Shilo make small talk, discuss their hobbies, and watch Mag flash footage of Shilo’s mother out of her eyes. See? There’s a point to at least one of those commercials. During this Mag reveals that she’s Shilo’s (pause) “godmom.”

I’m tempted to say there were absolutely no drugs involved in this production, just oregano and the power of suggestion.

Caption contributed by Mark
Her eyes have 700 channels. Unfortunately the only thing playing is the 1934 Academy Awards.

Enter Nathan, well supplied with accusation-laden lyrics. Shilo pleads for Mag’s life without knowing he’s the one who’ll kill her... god, but this all sounds familiar. Something about a barber, maybe? I dunno.

Things come to a head between Nathan and Shilo, with him refusing to listen to her barely coherent arguments about why he, who as far as Shilo knows is only a doctor, should try to save her.

Nathan puts Shilo to bed, so she starts singing about how young people are better than old people. Whereupon comes the only production number in the film, festering at the very center like the song Pilot Abilene sings in Southland Tales, and, astonishingly, just as pointless. Behold the horror that is “Seventeen”.

Suddenly Shilo is clad in an outfit best described as Avril Lavigne trying to win a Pat Benatar Look-Alike contest with clothes she bought at the Salvation Army, her toys suddenly puppets swaying to the beat, her room suddenly an exclusive rock club with fans trying to break down her door.

Caption contributed by Mark
”I... want to rock and roll all night! And part of every day!”

Shilo jumps all over the place, throws her glass shit around, repeatedly flips off her dad, and welcomes a hellish cameo by Joan Fucking Jett, all while extolling the virtues of the single most annoying generic character archetype who thinks they’re so badass because they listen to fucking Joan Jett.

Shilo: I’m freer than sixteen...
Shilo: Daddy’s girl’s a fucking monster!

Ooh, ooh, let me!

Uh... did the guy who wrote ”Billy S” demand cash up front for that one?

Ooh, ooh, me next!

Did Janet Jackson want too much money for Control?

Ooh, ooh!

Something about Xanadu!

Now, I’m sure there’s a perfectly good reason why they would stop their “serious” musical to include a “rocking” teen rebellion song that has nothing to do with padding the soundtrack, but whatever it is, this song is just awful, so much so that TV Tropes, which is run by people who like everything, lists this scene as Repo’s Dethroning Moment of Suck.

Let’s put it this way: It says a lot when even Joan Jett can’t save a tune.

Caption contributed by Mark
I want my dime back.

Shilo gets to the part about how she’s a fucking monster, when Nathan, who’s been literally standing in a corner shaking his head for the last three minutes, finally gets fed up and asks her what the five fingers said to the face. She blacks out and we cut to GeneCo, where Amber’s been rendered hideous by a botched operation. Rotti berates her about getting too many surgeries, only to send her back for more surgery when he sees how bad it is. Does he gamble his way out of gambling debts, too?

Incidentally, I can’t think of any cosmetic operations that would do damage to that area of her face. But maybe they’ve invented new ones. Plastic surgery... of the future!

Caption contributed by Mark
Well, she can always get a job as the Gotham City DA.

Rotti reminisces about his empire and how he’s gonna give Shilo all his money. Given the fact that his entire family is certifiable, I’m with him on this one. He calls Shilo on her Spy Kids watch, but Repo overhears and swears revenge, leading into that one song from all musicals, you know the one, where everybody’s heading to one spot and they repeat their motivations, so when we go into the third act we haven’t forgotten anything. It’s like ”Tonight Quintet”, only with people with other people’s faces stapled onto their faces.

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