I'm a fervent Bond fan, so this will be a rather lengthy review. Also, I have a strong affection for bad jokes and puns; Just a warning.

Ever since I was a kid, I've loved the James Bond films. From the first time I saw A View to a Kill on video, I was hooked. I can honestly say that almost all of the Bond films range from good to excellent—almost. Of the twenty official James Bond films, the movie we'll be examining today ranks at #19. Why #19, and not #20? Because unlike The Man with the Golden Gun, this film is not boring. But then, neither is getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer.

In the summer of 1977, The Spy Who Loved Me brought the James Bond franchise back to the quality end of the cinematic bell curve after the tepid Man With the Golden Gun did lackluster business three years earlier. The film was a return to the larger than life spectacle of Thunderball and You Only Live Twice, the latter being directed by Spy director and director of our current subject, Lewis Gilbert.

After the success of Spy, the next installment in the Bond franchise was initially supposed to be For Your Eyes Only. However, due to the gargantuan success of Star Wars, producer Albert R. Broccoli decided to take James Bond into space. Using several crew members from the previous film (not uncommon for the series, and also not really a problem), he ended up with Moonraker, an overblown gasbag of a film. The movie was heavily influenced by George Lucas' film, and Broccoli even went so far as to claim the movie was not science fiction, but rather science fact.

What it ended up being is one of the first occurrences of the big, bloated summer action movie that promises the world, but ends up giving you half a continent, and maybe some deserted islands with a little bit of ocean thrown in as a bonus. (Or in the case of this film, the moon and everything else.) So put on your disco suit and flare those bell bottoms out real good, because we're headed back to 1979.

We begin with the standard gun barrel logo and a nice arrangement of the James Bond Theme by John Barry. The pre-title sequence opens with a space shuttle named Moonraker being carried on top of a 747. In the cockpit of the 747, an RAF officer banters with the pilot, reporting that they'll reach the English coast fifteen minutes ahead of schedule.

Inside the shuttle, however, a panel opens up to reveal Miscellaneous Bad Guy #1. A second panel opens and his comrade MBG #2 joins him. They make their way to the shuttle cockpit and strap themselves in. In the cockpit of the 747, the pilot is alarmed when the shuttle's rockets are suddenly ignited. Within seconds, the shuttle takes off and flies away, and a well-made (but fairly obvious) miniature of the 747 is blown out of the sky.

In London, we join M (Bernard Lee in his last Bond film), Bond's chief. He's on the phone with the Prime Minister, learning of the shuttle's disappearance. Upon hanging up, he goes to his office door and calls to his secretary, Miss Moneypenny (Lois Maxwell). Inquiring as to the whereabouts of 007, he's told that Bond is "on his last leg." If any of this sounds familiar, just wait.

We next find that Bond is indeed on a leg. That is, his hands are on a leg, as well as the rest of a lovely young stewardess, and the two are flying on a small commuter-type jet. Bond says he doesn't think he'll ever fly with anyone else, so the woman decides to make sure he doesn't by pulling a gun on him. The pilot comes out of the cockpit, also holding a gun and wearing a parachute. He shoots out the controls of the plane, and then hands a spare parachute to the stewardess, who will not be seen again.

The pilot then commits a bald-faced example of the Fallacy of the Talking Killer while stupidly walking towards Bond with his gun. Bond makes him pay for this dearly when he springs into action and kicks the gun away, resulting in a fistfight. The match is fairly even until the pilot opens the door to the plane. Blatantly disregarding the First Rule of Movie Planes, the cabin does not instantly depressurize. Instead, Bond and the pilot manage to stay on their feet for the remainder of the fight.

Bond tosses the pilot out of the plane and is about to follow himself, when, from out of nowhere, The Man, The Myth, Eegah himself, Jaws (Richard Kiel) appears and pushes Bond out of the plane. (Congratulations, my fine Neanderthal friend. You are now a Repeat Offender.) Conveniently, Jaws is wearing goggles and a parachute, a forewarning to all.

Bond straightens his body out like an arrow and flies down to the pilot with the help of the James Bond Theme. He grabs the man and a struggle for the parachute ensues with the music blaring loudly. He finally manages to knock the pilot away, resulting in Stock Scream Sound Effect #11,408, which would reappear in later Bond films. After a bit of effort, Bond gets the parachute straps secured.

Now you might be saying, "Hey Ed, you've been pretty nice so far. Is this thing gonna start getting bad, or what?" Well, never fear, because the film is about to make the first in a long line of mistakes. Jaws flies down over the rear projection behind Bond. It's Super Caveman! Watch him fly through the air as easily as a Ford SUV fits into a compact parking space! Oh, um, sorry. Back to the film. Bond sees him and attempts to fly away, but Jaws, being heavier and all, gets to him first. He grabs Bond's leg and is about to chow down with his metal teeth, when Bond pulls the ripcord on his parachute and rockets upwards.

Now, here comes what I like to call a Bond Bomb. Jaws sensibly pulls his ripcord but, alas, he puts too much enthusiasm into it and yanks the whole thing out. As he does this, circus music is heard, and he tries to stay in the air by flapping his arms [!]. We look below and see a circus tent and cut inside. Amazingly enough, the producers took the time and effort to stage an entire circus act for what ends up being a measly two seconds of screen time. Anyway, Jaws ends up going headfirst into the circus tent, naturally collapsing the entire thing. Thus ends Bond Bomb #1.

The preceding sequence sums up the majority of what will sink this film: Good, well-done action sequences done in by poorly executed or simply idiotic gags. Anyway, this takes us to the main title sequence and Shirley Bassey's theme song, featuring the usual flying nude silhouettes, this time with a space motif. The song, however, is somewhat too low-key considering the film we're about to endure for the next two hours.

The titles end, taking us into the film proper. More specifically, we go to M's office where he sits as the Minister of Defense (Geoffrey Keen) and Q (Desmond Llewelyn) pace around his office. Bond enters the outer office and banters with Moneypenny. Oddly enough, the sexual tension between the two in this film is muted, unlike other films in the series. Instead, she only laughs when he says he fell out of an airplane without a parachute, and just sends him in to see M.

Bond enters M's office and has his first Know-It-All Moment for the film. These moments have always been present in the series, but for some reason, it comes across as really obnoxious here. Bond is told that the Moonraker was on loan to England from the Americans for unknown reasons. Bond already knows the official story, which is that the shuttle and 747 were completely destroyed after crashing in the Yukon. Q informs him that in fact, there was no trace of the Moonraker in the wreckage.

Bond is assigned to investigate the company that designed the shuttle, Drax Industries in California. Before he leaves, Q supplies him with what will be the primary gadget for the first and final acts of the film, namely a dart gun that can be strapped to the wrist. It comes equipped with five darts with armor-piercing heads, and five darts coated with cyanide that cause death in thirty seconds. Thirty seconds or less, or the death is free! Bond demonstrates the gun by shooting a dart into a painting of someone on a horse. Appropriately enough for this film, the dart lands in the horse's ass. After the prerequisite smarting off to Q, Bond's off to the Golden State.

Bond arrives at LAX and is met by Corrine Dufour (Corrine Clery), Drax's helicopter pilot. Bond turns the charm to roughly 7.0 on the Shag Scale as they take off by helicopter for Drax Industries. During the flight, we get background info on Hugo Drax. He's a fabulously wealthy man, and according to Corrine, "What he doesn't own, he doesn't want!" This sequence is a long one, but not obnoxiously so. Unlike the interminable driving sequences encountered in some of the films reviewed on this site, this scene actually (Good Lord, can it be possible?) has a point. We pass the training compound and shuttle construction area which, improbably enough, is just a short drive from Drax's house. Man, that morning commute has got to be a breeze.

They draw near the Drax residence, passing over the desert and miraculously ending up on a set in France. As they approach, Bond is stunned either by the beauty of the place, or by the fact that France looks in no way like Southern California (Tip of the hat to Austin Powers on that one). Corrine exposits that Drax had the house brought over from France stone by stone. Oddly enough, the house doesn't seem to be made of very many stones, so we can safely assume it's only a partially French estate.

During the approach (told you this was a long sequence), we pass several astronaut trainees who are doing their workout routines on Drax's front lawn [!]. Strange, one would expect them to train in some sort of actual building. Oh well, I guess if you're going to be in California, you might as well get some sun. Bond deduces from what he's seen so far that Drax is "obsessed with the conquest of space!" Clever bloke, isn't he?

The helicopter finally lands and the two enter Chez Drax. A butler escorts Bond into the drawing room, where we hear a nice composition being played on the piano. We find it's being played by Hugo Drax himself (Michael Lonsdale). Well, sort of. This scene shows that he must be evil, since who else but a dastardly villain would force an unknown player to provide the music while he simply hovers his fingers over the keys? Also, he plays with his eyes closed, apparently savoring the beauty of the music. Unfortunately, the fact that we've seen his fingers barely touching the keys kind of spoils the moment, and makes it look like he's suffering from the aftereffects of a really spicy meal.

Drax introduces Bond to two women who will have no bearing on the plot. After they leave, Drax sits down to talk with Bond. The actor's interpretation of the character is very close to the novel, as he plays Drax as an arrogant, obnoxious jerk who looks down upon the British. He seems to know who Bond is by reputation, and also, one would assume, knows exactly what Bond does for a living. He further insults Bond and England by stating that afternoon tea is the only good contribution to civilization to come from the British. Guess he's not a fan of the Clash or Sting.

They have a pleasantly tense conversation in which we learn that Drax has a number of subsidiary companies that produce the parts for the shuttles. He notes that the conquest of space requires the best people and skills that society has to offer, and during this, we see his servant Chang (Toshirô Suga) enter with two Doberman Pinschers. Drax takes two pieces of meat and drops them in front of the dogs, but they don't eat. At the end of the scene, Drax snaps his fingers and the Dobermans finally devour the meat. For no reason, the camera is generously under-cranked in order to help the dogs eat the meat as quickly as possible. Hmm, I think they might be trying to say something here.

This charming display is interrupted by Corrine as she returns to take Bond on a tour of the shuttle construction facility. After Bond leaves, Drax instructs Chang to "Look after Mr. Bond. See that some harm comes to him." Gee, I get the feeling that this Drax fellow might not be an altogether nice chap.