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Blood Splattered Cinema
Hosted by: Horror Guru
The Horror Guru reviews the bloodiest, wildest, and weirdest horror that cinema has to offer!
Cartoon Palooza
Hosted by: Joey Tedesco
A satirical review show where a guy from Jersey watches and criticizes cartoons, including everything from comic books to animated movies. Whatever it is, Joey will either tell you to run out and see it... or fughetabouit!
The Count Jackula Show
Hosted by: Count Jackula
There are vampires, and there are men from outer space, but there is only one vampire from outer space! Join Count Jackula from the Planet Drakula as he explains the ins and outs of horror, from the mythic to the modern. Blood, off-color humor, and an obsession with Elvira are in store for you!
The Examined Life (of Gaming)
Hosted by: Roland Thompson
Just when video games were getting good, the late '90s and early '00s came along. The Examined Life (of Gaming) dares to delve into the good, the bad, and the value-priced games of this dark period, and sometimes we find something worth playing!
The Film Renegado
Hosted by: Film Renegado
Coming to you from south of the border, it's the Film Renegado! A civil engineer with a cinephile complex, the Film Renegado uses movies made in Mexico or by Mexican directors to share bits from his country's culture, past and present. You will both learn and be entertained! How cool is that?
Friday Night Fright Flicks
Hosted by: Count Jackula & Horror Guru
Welcome, fright knights, to Friday Night Fright Flicks! Join your hosts Count Jackula and the Horror Guru as they stumble their way through current horror releases, letting you know which ones are worth the price of admission.
Good Bad Flicks
Hosted by: Cecil Trachenburg
Good Bad Flicks is a show not only dedicated to rare movies, but also forgotten classics and misunderstood box office bombs. Your host Cecil takes you through each movie, discussing the promotional materials, and taking a look at what went on behind the scenes. With a healthy dose of Irish sarcasm, he throws a few jabs at even his most cherished favorites.
The Graphic Novel Picture Show
Hosted by: Sybil Pandemic
Your host Solkir presents The Graphic Novel Picture Show, a retrospective of the history of comic book movies!
The Movie Skewer
Hosted by: Team Agony Booth
From the makers of the Agony Booth™ comes The Movie Skewer, where terrible movies are roasted over an open flame for your enjoyment. Watch the very first online review/recap series that’s too much for one host to handle!
Mr. Mendo's Hack Attack
Hosted by: Michael A. Novelli
Need a healthy dose of cynicism from a guy whose face you can barely see? Then Mr. Mendo’s your man! Whether a movie suffers from Hype Backlash, Intellectual Dishonesty, or is just Complete Shit, Mr. Mendo is there. Mr. Mendo wasn‘t raised in this country, so he takes nothing for granted: if something ain‘t right, he’ll nose it out. So join him as he takes on Oscar winners and legendary flops alike in front of a blanket suspended between his couch and recliner!
Stuff You Like
Hosted by: Sursum Ursa
Stuff You Like is an original show where redhead Sursum Ursa waxes enthusiastic about movies, TV shows, and anything else that comes to mind! Expect singing, snarky subtitles, random pictures she finds on the internet, and lots of fangirling!
Terror Obscura
Hosted by: Fear Fan
Terror Obscura is a show dedicated to exploring the best and worst horror films ever made. While some shows are content to just mock bad films, this one isn't afraid to take even the most sacred of cows to the slaughterhouse. If you like horror, humor, or if you're just looking to find some titles you might want to rent, Terror Obscura is the show for you!
Tom's Retrophilia
Hosted by: Thomas Stockel
Is he a connoisseur of vintage media, or just a bitter old man trapped in the past?  Either way, tune in and watch Tom take a look at the movies and television shows from a time when he was actually in the target audience!
The Unusual Suspect
Hosted by: Unusual Suspect
The Unusual Suspect reviews popular movies, and tears 'em apart! They may be good, but no movie is perfect, and there's always things you may have overlooked and hadn't thought about. So join the Suspect as he exploits and ridicules the films you know and love. Just don't kill him for it!
What We Had to Watch
Hosted by: Il Neige
Il Neige is a smart-ass with a love-hate relationship with movies from the new millennium. Sure, reviews can be fun or cathartic, but there's also the risk of the occasional Twi-hard invasion or fireball to the face! ...That's how these things usually go, right? So join Il Neige as he braves the cinematic dangers that lie just beyond the fourth wall to critique the best and worst of 21st century filmmaking!
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the agony booth
Leonard Part 6 (1987) Movie Recap Page 2 of 15
Posted by Dr. Winston O'Boogie Posted on: November 14, 2004
Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

The movie starts, and before we even get to the credits, when we’re still seeing Lady Columbia holding her torch, we hear an odd, ominous tune that sounds like it belongs in a Halloween kids movie. I mean, it’s even got the “spooky” theramin going and everything. It sounds like we’re about to watch a haunted house movie featuring the likes of Steve Guttenberg, or Christopher Lloyd, or god forbid, both.

Then again, maybe the soundtrack is just warning us of Joe Don Baker’s terrifying, monstrous presence later.

Okay, I really need to talk about these credits. Because frankly, they’re a joke. And not in a “ha-ha funny” sort of way, more like in a way where I’m not sure I can even make fun of them any more than they already make fun of themselves.

They’re done in the style of crappy paper dolls that look like a little kid drew them. They include various animals (rabbits, turtles, frogs, etc.) beside each credit, and the lettering looks like a ten-year-old’s scribblings on a chalkboard. The cartoon animals are animated, but only in the simplest, most rudimentary way. For instance, a frog lets out its tongue to eat the “6” in the title, and a rattlesnake jerks its rattling tail and a credit goes flying off the screen. This animation, I would say, is only slightly more complex than panning the camera across still drawings.

However, lest you think this movie is even more insane than it already is, the whole “animal” theme actually relates to the story, what there is of it. But to me at least, it would seem that if your movie is this bad, about the last thing you’d want is stupid, crappy, cheap-looking opening credits that only invite more criticism. But amazingly, that’s what they went for here. Hmm. Maybe they didn’t realize just how awful this movie is.

Nah. Couldn’t be.

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Eventually, the theme song proper kicks in, and it’s a big, loud, brassy “spy” tune, an obvious take-off on Mission: Impossible or The Man from U.N.C.L.E., or even, sadly enough, Cosby’s own I Spy.

A cartoon fish charmingly burps up air bubbles, complete with a stock belching sound effect. This sends Joe Don Baker’s credit flying off screen. So... Joe Don Baker’s name appears and we hear a belch at the same time? There’s no way that’s a coincidence.

By the way, Joe Don will evidently be playing a character named “Snyderburn”. Please don’t ask me why Joe Don has the only credit that includes a character name. I guess he had a lot of clout in those post-Joy Sticks days. And as mentioned above, Joe Don is the first Repeat Offender we’ll be seeing in this movie, having already been the world’s most repulsive leading man ever in Mitchell.

Caption contributed by Albert
I had a Snyderburn once. It hurt like hell.

Then there’s an elephant snorting at a credit for the music, which is by the late Elmer Bernstein, who passed away in August of this year. Man, is that depressing. Something tells me this particular movie wasn’t mentioned in very many of his obituaries.

Caption contributed by Albert
career suicide by BILL COSBY

Then there’s more incredibly lame animation, including a kangaroo, and a cat that looks like it has some kind of disease. There’s also a turtle with a sinister laugh. Goddamn turtles. I always knew they were evil.

Next to a poorly animated rhinoceros is a credit for the director of photography, Jan de Bont. In the years following this movie, de Bont became a director in his own right, directing actual quality movies like Speed, and... um... did I already mention Speed?

Anyhow, after an alligator and a puppy stiffly jerk around the screen, the movie itself begins.

Well, it seems the filmmakers pretty much threw up their hands right from the very start and said “you figure it out” with a completely bewildering opening. A camouflage sports car with a tank-like turret flies over a hill on a San Francisco street. As the car soars through the air in slow motion, there’s an insert shot of Bill Cosby in the driver’s seat.

Caption contributed by Albert
Wait, did I accidentally put in my copy of Death Race 2000?

Cosby, I should note, is looking very bored. Get used to this. In fact, most of this movie could be summarized as “Cut to Bill Cosby, looking bored.” I’d say he was phoning it in, but that’s something of an overstatement. It’s more like he’s smoke-signaling it in.

Caption contributed by Albert
Road rage! (Cosby style.)

Before we have a chance to assimilate this random, nonsensical, in media res opening, the movie cuts to someone doing ballet in a dark warehouse somewhere. It turns out to be Bill Cosby again, this time in point shoes, a bicycle helmet, and a stock “foreign army” jumpsuit, like maybe he had a cameo in Delta Force to do right after this. Cosby, by which of course I mean his poorly disguised body double, does pirouettes and grande jetés all up in our faces.

Caption contributed by Albert
You know, I always thought Cosby was a little light in the loafers, uh, I mean, point shoes.

And then, before we have a chance to assimilate that, there’s a shot of Bill Cosby riding across a rooftop. And, umm... he’s riding an ostrich. I assure you, I did not ingest any hallucinogens prior to writing this recap. But truth be told, that wouldn’t have been such a bad idea.

On the rooftop’s edge, there’s a big neon sign saying “INTERNATIONAL TUNA”. The ostrich, with Cosby still on its back, runs through the “O” in “International”. In the next shot, Cosby and the ostrich briefly turn into cheap Claymation figures as an explosion flares behind them. The ostrich uses its feeble wings to carry Cosby down to the ground, briefly making me wish I were instead watching the long overdue big-budget adaptation of Joust.

Caption contributed by Albert
Let’s hope he can pick up those eggs before they hatch!

So, there I was, watching Leonard Part 6 for the very first time. I was only a scant minute into the film, and it was already as horrible as everything I had ever heard. I had no clue what was going on, what I was looking at, or why I was looking at it, and it only got worse from there.

But now that I’ve seen this movie a few times, I can explain. What we just witnessed was really a montage of events that will happen to Bill Cosby over the course of the film. You might be asking, why would they awkwardly tack on a pointless montage to the start of the movie? My best guess is that the filmmakers, in their infinite wisdom, figured it would be more interesting to start with “action” scenes than with a butler talking (which we’ll be getting to in a second).

Still, why did they pick these clips? I know they didn’t have many interesting clips to choose from, but these aren’t the least bit exciting. They seem to have been picked totally at random. Especially that shot of Bill Cosby looking bored. Who thought it was a good idea to start things off with a shot of the star looking like he’d rather be cleaning out his cat’s litter box?

And the ostrich clip could even be construed as something of a spoiler, considering it comes from the final two minutes of the movie, during the supposed “climax”. Of course, that’s just pretending for a moment that anybody actually cares about the ending of Leonard Part 6 being ruined. By the time we get there, I’m sure you’ll agree that the beginning and the middle of the movie are also completely ruined, so why not the ending, too?

The montage is complete, and the movie cuts to a standard English butler type wiping glassware with a towel. The butler looks into the camera and promises that there’s a “logical explanation” for all the things we just saw. In other words, the first line out of this character’s mouth is a complete lie. And considering he’ll be babbling in voiceover throughout the whole damn movie, this isn’t a good way to start things off with me.

He tells us that the star of our show, a man named Leonard Parker, experienced all three of these incredible things within the span of one week in San Francisco. And if you think that’s amazing, he didn’t even set foot in the Castro.

Caption contributed by Albert
Look, we know you did it in the conservatory with the candlestick. Stop trying to pin it on Miss Scarlet.

The butler says he is in fact Leonard’s butler. Get outta town! He also reveals that Leonard’s “five previous adventures, I’m sure would have enthralled you, had they not been confiscated in the interests of world security.” And therein lies the sole reason this movie has “Part 6” in the title.

You see, supposedly the previous five movies actually exist, but were never seen because they’ve been classified as top secret. And these other five movies will never be mentioned again for the rest of the film. The dumb title was worth it for that hilarious joke, was it not?

Still, it does leave the door open for a Leonard Part 1, assuming studios inevitably run out of properties from the ‘80s to reboot.

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