Blood Splattered Cinema
Hosted by: Horror Guru
The Horror Guru reviews the bloodiest, wildest, and weirdest horror that cinema has to offer!
The Bunny Perspective!
Hosted by: Phil Buni
Media reviews and analysis by a pot smoking, puppet bunny. Do you like weird-but-great underground films? Hate Glee, Gigli, and other Hollywood garbage? The Bunny Perspective offers a blend of humorously angry negative reviews, and honest praise of underground movies and TV. We talk about films, TV, anime, and animation. We are the Cult of the Bunny, and you too can be a Cultist. #CultoftheBunny
Cartoon Palooza
Hosted by: Joey Tedesco
A satirical review show where a guy from Jersey watches and criticizes cartoons, including everything from comic books to animated movies. Whatever it is, Joey will either tell you to run out and see it... or fughetabouit!
The Cheap-Arse Film Review
Hosted by: Liam Barrett
It's the Cheap-Arse Film Review, where a young(ish) man finds out if it's possible to live the life of a cinephile super-nerd on the strictest budget possible. Inspired by growing up in the wilds of Essex, England (that's only partially a joke, by the way) and the current harsh economic times, Liam only reviews DVD that can be purchased for £1.00p or less!
The Count Jackula Show
Hosted by: Count Jackula
There are vampires, and there are men from outer space, but there is only one vampire from outer space! Join Count Jackula from the Planet Drakula as he explains the ins and outs of horror, from the mythic to the modern. Blood, off-color humor, and an obsession with Elvira are in store for you!
The DVD Shelf
Hosted by: David Rose
Life is short, so skip the bad movies and let your host David Rose reveal, review, and recommend the ones you should have on your own DVD shelf. The DVD Shelf is a film-lover's safe haven to bask in the warm glow of cult favorites, over-looked cinematic gems, rediscovered classics, and downright fun flicks on both DVD and Blu-ray.
The Examined Life (of Gaming)
Hosted by: Roland Thompson
Just when video games were getting good, the late '90s and early '00s came along. The Examined Life (of Gaming) dares to delve into the good, the bad, and the value-priced games of this dark period, and sometimes we find something worth playing!
The Film Renegado
Hosted by: Film Renegado
Coming to you from south of the border, it's the Film Renegado! A civil engineer with a cinephile complex, the Film Renegado uses movies made in Mexico or by Mexican directors to share bits from his country's culture, past and present. You will both learn and be entertained! How cool is that?
Friday Night Fright Flicks
Hosted by: Count Jackula & Horror Guru
Welcome, fright knights, to Friday Night Fright Flicks! Join your hosts Count Jackula and the Horror Guru as they stumble their way through current horror releases, letting you know which ones are worth the price of admission.
Good Bad Flicks
Hosted by: Cecil Trachenburg
Good Bad Flicks is a show not only dedicated to rare movies, but also forgotten classics and misunderstood box office bombs. Your host Cecil takes you through each movie, discussing the promotional materials, and taking a look at what went on behind the scenes. With a healthy dose of Irish sarcasm, he throws a few jabs at even his most cherished favorites.
The Graphic Novel Picture Show
Hosted by: Solkir
Your host Solkir presents The Graphic Novel Picture Show, a retrospective of the history of comic book movies!
Joshua the Anarchist
Hosted by: Joshua Bell
Charged with the crime of liking Batman & Robin, Joshua the Anarchist has been declared insane and committed to Arkham Asylum. Locked away in a padded cell, he'll endure movie after movie as doctors attempt to "treat" him. He may not have gone in a madman, but he soon will be.
Minority Report Reviews
Hosted by: Tom Marriott
Minority Report Reviews is where often slated or just plain forgotten films and TV shows come for an ego boost. Focusing primarily on unloved sequels, your host Tom Marriott takes questions from the general public to showcase the positives in these films. Love it or hate it, this is the show where you can have your say and see a guilty pleasure defended by the host with the most... strange tastes.
Movie Dorkness
Hosted by: Sofie Liv
It's the show formerly known as Red Suitcase Adventues! Join Sofie Liv, a nice Dane (who may not be as negative as everyone else!) as she dissects pop culture phenomena to explore both the good and bad in popular films.
The Movie Skewer
Hosted by: Team Agony Booth
From the makers of the Agony Booth™ comes The Movie Skewer, where terrible movies are roasted over an open flame for your enjoyment. Watch the very first online review/recap series that’s too much for one host to handle!
Mr. Mendo's Hack Attack
Hosted by: Michael A. Novelli
Need a healthy dose of cynicism from a guy whose face you can barely see? Then Mr. Mendo’s your man! Whether a movie suffers from Hype Backlash, Intellectual Dishonesty, or is just Complete Shit, Mr. Mendo is there. Mr. Mendo wasn‘t raised in this country, so he takes nothing for granted: if something ain‘t right, he’ll nose it out. So join him as he takes on Oscar winners and legendary flops alike in front of a blanket suspended between his couch and recliner!
Mystery Madness
Hosted by: Full of Questions
Mysteries are awesome! And who's better suited to examine the wonderful, the terrible, and the adequate of the movie mystery genre than a teenager with nerdy glasses and substandard editing software? ...Many people, probably, but enjoy the show anyway!
PGSM Summaries
Hosted by: Nycea
Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (PGSM for short) is a hilarious live-action retelling of the Sailor Moon story. On this show, your host Nycea summarizes and riffs on this gloriously bad series—one episode at a time.
The Porn Critic
Hosted by: Porn Critic
Comedy reviews of the worst and most bizarre adult films available, by a character called the Porn Critic, who tends to focus on the acting bits rather than the actual sex! Who knew continuity errors and bad dialogue could lead to chronic flaccidity?
Reel vs. Reel
Hosted by: Animated Heroine
Animation isn't just for kids; it's also for adults who never learned how to grow up. In Reel vs. Reel, the Animated Heroine looks at two similar animated films to see which one comes out on top and why. Her love for good animated films is only matched by her cynicism towards the bad ones.
Stuff You Like
Hosted by: Sursum Ursa
Stuff You Like is an original show where redhead Sursum Ursa waxes enthusiastic about movies, TV shows, and anything else that comes to mind! Expect singing, snarky subtitles, random pictures she finds on the internet, and lots of fangirling!
Terror Obscura
Hosted by: Fear Fan
Terror Obscura is a show dedicated to exploring the best and worst horror films ever made. While some shows are content to just mock bad films, this one isn't afraid to take even the most sacred of cows to the slaughterhouse. If you like horror, humor, or if you're just looking to find some titles you might want to rent, Terror Obscura is the show for you!
Tom's Retrophilia
Hosted by: Thomas Stockel
Is he a connoisseur of vintage media, or just a bitter old man trapped in the past?  Either way, tune in and watch Tom take a look at the movies and television shows from a time when he was actually in the target audience!
The Unusual Suspect
Hosted by: Unusual Suspect
The Unusual Suspect reviews popular movies, and tears 'em apart! They may be good, but no movie is perfect, and there's always things you may have overlooked and hadn't thought about. So join the Suspect as he exploits and ridicules the films you know and love. Just don't kill him for it!
What We Had to Watch
Hosted by: Il Neige
Il Neige is a smart-ass with a love-hate relationship with movies from the new millennium. Sure, reviews can be fun or cathartic, but there's also the risk of the occasional Twi-hard invasion or fireball to the face! ...That's how these things usually go, right? So join Il Neige as he braves the cinematic dangers that lie just beyond the fourth wall to critique the best and worst of 21st century filmmaking!
the agony booth
Ghost (1990) Movie Recap Page 4 of 8
Posted by Jessica Ritchey Posted on: December 17, 2006
Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

A few days later (I think), Carl helps Demi go through some of Patrick's belongings, figuring out what to keep and what to throw away. Patrick sits on a window sill watching them. I guess he's been taking lessons at the Nate Fisher School of How to be a Dick in the Afterlife, because when Demi saves a pair of concert tickets in a shoebox, he whines that they "hated that concert!" She also hangs on to Patrick's Little Black Plot Point, much to Carl's chagrin.

Along the way, we find out she's even keeping a half-empty pack of Rolaids. "What are you doing?" Patrick sighs in exasperation. Oh, I'm sorry that she misses you, and is holding on to little items that aren't worth much to anyone else, but can remind her of the good times you had together. Dick.

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Carl makes for the door with two large cardboard boxes, with the Shoebox of Sentimentality on top. Demi stops him and takes away the shoebox. He apologizes in that Oh gee, what was I thinking (dammit dammit dammit) kind of way.

He invites her out for a walk, but she demurs, saying she's not ready. Carl insists, and the discussion gets heated to the point were he angrily reminds her she isn't the one who died, and gets the expected slap across the face. She apologizes and agrees it would be a good thing for her to leave the house. Patrick inexplicably freaks out about this, but despite his violent shaking of the head, she goes for her sweatshirt and they leave.

Patrick makes a few useless swipes at the doorknob. He tries to build up the courage to pass through the door, first by sticking his arm in. And when he puts his arm in, the color of the door actually spreads up his arm, but I have no idea why. He's just about to pass through, when a click in the lock sends him stumbling back.


Apparently, in the afterlife, they're big believers in chroma key.

 

Entering the loft is the Ethnic Hood who killed him, and in the process presumably boosted his house keys along with his wallet. Now I'm confused. Is all of this a prearranged deal between Carl and the Hood? (And please, let's act like adults here, and not bother pretending we don't see this twist coming.) Was Carl supposed to get Demi out of the apartment long enough for the Hood to toss the place looking for the Black Book? If so, how would the Hood know Carl hadn't already gotten it? Was he watching from across the street for a signal? And if it's that goddamned urgent, couldn't Carl have just waited for Demi to go to the bathroom, and snatched the book then? And how does Carl even know that Patrick wrote down his new pass code in that book? Stupid, totally unsexy movie.

Anyway, Patrick is furious when he sees the Hood, and takes a few futile punches at him. The Hood climbs the stairs, enters the bedroom, and ruffles through drawers.


And then, immediately after this, he crapped out the script for Black Dog.

 

Downstairs, Demi returns (that was an awfully short walk), and the Hood presses himself into an alcove while she walks past. She then takes off her sweatshirt and the Hood ogles her in her bra. Which is, of course, disgusting and disgraceful behavior. So disgusting, that we take a good long look right along with him. And she's positioned in front of a mirror, giving us a view from the front, too.

The Hood smirks, and Patrick says he'll kill him if he hurts Demi. Dude, even if you were flesh and blood, I don't think he'd be all that scared. 

Patrick then notices that the cat they suddenly have is resting on a stack of boxes beside him. He quickly gets the idea to have a stare down with the cat. And yes, this is just as lame as it sounds. (The general notion being that somehow, pets are more "aware" of stuff like ghosts and earthquakes than people.) He spooks the cat into awkwardly leaping at the Hood, and the Hood clutches at the scratches on his face and makes for the door. And even though he loudly stomps down the stairs, his exit goes completely unnoticed by Demi.


"Dammit! I'm only doing this to pay for my Luis Guzman lessons!"

 

Patrick goes to follow the Hood, and finally works up the courage to pass through the door, dramatically leaping through. The Hood races down to catch a subway and Patrick is right on his heels. Patrick leaps onto the subway, and during the whole ride, he gives the Hood the evil eye (or perhaps, since it's Patrick Swayze, the "you phink" eye).


ActionPatrick leaps a stunning three feet. It's almost as pulse-pounding as the ending of Staying Alive.

 

Just then, Damn Fine Character Actor #1, Vincent Schiavelli appears (who, I'm sad to say, in the course of writing this recap became the late great Vincent Schiavelli). He yells at a surprised Patrick to get out of his subway car. He then smacks Patrick around a bit, easily cementing his place in the hearts of the audience. There's some phony suspense where Schiavelli pushes Patrick through the train door, with his head in the path of another oncoming subway train. But we already know he can pass through stuff, so what's the big deal?

Anyway, Schiavelli eventually tosses Patrick through the back door of the subway car, then somehow smashes the rear window. He yells, "Stay out! This is mine!"


"You think you and Demi are the perfect couple? You're a total joke compared to Latka and Simka!"

 

Despite this setback, Patrick is still right there when the Hood disembarks, and easily picks up the pursuit. Patrick follows him to his apartment. The Hood checks his Hood Mailbox, apparently looking for Hood Credit Offers, and it seems that his name is Willie Lopez. And that the guy who rented Apt. 4D before him was presumably named Willy Blumenkranz.


In these days of label maker ribbon shortages, we all have to make due.

 

Inside his apartment, Willie makes a phone call, never identifying the person on the other end by name, saying only, "I couldn't get it." Oh, spooky, I wonder what this could portend. Could it portend... murd—ow, ow, okay. I'll stop. Geez, quit it.

Willie looks through Patrick's wallet, taking swigs off a bottle of Brut. Patrick stands over him, giving him the look of death, and yelling at him to leave Demi alone. Bro, I didn't buy it in Road House, and that curiously blousy top you're sporting now isn't sustaining your Wrath of Vengeance image any better.

Patrick walks back out to the street, looking desperate for help. He spots a storefront fortune teller advertising spiritual advice in the window, and heads inside.


Scientology International Headquarters is much less impressive in person.

 

In the fortune teller's parlor, an anxious Hispanic woman of the Ay Dios Mio variety awaits her turn to be seen by the psychic. She's eventually admitted into the overdecorated room, and sits down opposite a closet door. Two assistants open it, revealing the closet is (supposedly) empty. They close the door, and when they reopen it—ohhh spooooky—Academy Award winner Whoopi Goldberg in her Academy Award winning performance is standing there.


Ten Forward tries to go for an ill-advised New Orleans bordello look.

 

Whoopi takes her place at the table across from the woman, wearing a flowing gold lamé caftan apparently purloined from Kirstie Alley. Whoopi intuits that the woman has come in search of someone. She claims to sense a presence in the room, and throws out a name that—ha ha—turns out to be wrong. She pulls several different constipated faces, all the while tossing out Hispanic names left and right, until she just happens upon the correct name, purely by chance. All of this doesn't tip off the woman, of course, as she is a gullible Ay Dios Mio Hispanic of the hardiest type. 

Patrick rolls his eyes and speaks up, which causes Whoopi to flip out. She asks who's there, and he suddenly realizes someone can hear him. Ecstatic at this development, he chases her around the table, chanting his name. (For reasons unexplained, she can only hear him, not see him.)

She runs to the closet, and her assistants begin to look a little concerned. She slips behind the false wall of the closet, and begs whoever it is to leave her alone. Patrick pops right up next to her and says, "No way!" She screams, bumps her head, and runs out, completely crashing through the closet door and ending up on the floor.


"You want me to be in a movie with a sassy talking T-Rex? Noooooooooooooo!"

 

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