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Blood Splattered Cinema
Hosted by: Horror Guru
The Horror Guru reviews the bloodiest, wildest, and weirdest horror that cinema has to offer!
Cartoon Palooza
Hosted by: Joey Tedesco
A satirical review show where a guy from Jersey watches and criticizes cartoons, including everything from comic books to animated movies. Whatever it is, Joey will either tell you to run out and see it... or fughetabouit!
The Count Jackula Show
Hosted by: Count Jackula
There are vampires, and there are men from outer space, but there is only one vampire from outer space! Join Count Jackula from the Planet Drakula as he explains the ins and outs of horror, from the mythic to the modern. Blood, off-color humor, and an obsession with Elvira are in store for you!
The Examined Life (of Gaming)
Hosted by: Roland Thompson
Just when video games were getting good, the late '90s and early '00s came along. The Examined Life (of Gaming) dares to delve into the good, the bad, and the value-priced games of this dark period, and sometimes we find something worth playing!
The Film Renegado
Hosted by: Film Renegado
Coming to you from south of the border, it's the Film Renegado! A civil engineer with a cinephile complex, the Film Renegado uses movies made in Mexico or by Mexican directors to share bits from his country's culture, past and present. You will both learn and be entertained! How cool is that?
Friday Night Fright Flicks
Hosted by: Count Jackula & Horror Guru
Welcome, fright knights, to Friday Night Fright Flicks! Join your hosts Count Jackula and the Horror Guru as they stumble their way through current horror releases, letting you know which ones are worth the price of admission.
Good Bad Flicks
Hosted by: Cecil Trachenburg
Good Bad Flicks is a show not only dedicated to rare movies, but also forgotten classics and misunderstood box office bombs. Your host Cecil takes you through each movie, discussing the promotional materials, and taking a look at what went on behind the scenes. With a healthy dose of Irish sarcasm, he throws a few jabs at even his most cherished favorites.
The Graphic Novel Picture Show
Hosted by: Sybil Pandemic
Your host Solkir presents The Graphic Novel Picture Show, a retrospective of the history of comic book movies!
The Movie Skewer
Hosted by: Team Agony Booth
From the makers of the Agony Booth™ comes The Movie Skewer, where terrible movies are roasted over an open flame for your enjoyment. Watch the very first online review/recap series that’s too much for one host to handle!
Mr. Mendo's Hack Attack
Hosted by: Michael A. Novelli
Need a healthy dose of cynicism from a guy whose face you can barely see? Then Mr. Mendo’s your man! Whether a movie suffers from Hype Backlash, Intellectual Dishonesty, or is just Complete Shit, Mr. Mendo is there. Mr. Mendo wasn‘t raised in this country, so he takes nothing for granted: if something ain‘t right, he’ll nose it out. So join him as he takes on Oscar winners and legendary flops alike in front of a blanket suspended between his couch and recliner!
Stuff You Like
Hosted by: Sursum Ursa
Stuff You Like is an original show where redhead Sursum Ursa waxes enthusiastic about movies, TV shows, and anything else that comes to mind! Expect singing, snarky subtitles, random pictures she finds on the internet, and lots of fangirling!
Terror Obscura
Hosted by: Fear Fan
Terror Obscura is a show dedicated to exploring the best and worst horror films ever made. While some shows are content to just mock bad films, this one isn't afraid to take even the most sacred of cows to the slaughterhouse. If you like horror, humor, or if you're just looking to find some titles you might want to rent, Terror Obscura is the show for you!
Tom's Retrophilia
Hosted by: Thomas Stockel
Is he a connoisseur of vintage media, or just a bitter old man trapped in the past?  Either way, tune in and watch Tom take a look at the movies and television shows from a time when he was actually in the target audience!
The Unusual Suspect
Hosted by: Unusual Suspect
The Unusual Suspect reviews popular movies, and tears 'em apart! They may be good, but no movie is perfect, and there's always things you may have overlooked and hadn't thought about. So join the Suspect as he exploits and ridicules the films you know and love. Just don't kill him for it!
What We Had to Watch
Hosted by: Il Neige
Il Neige is a smart-ass with a love-hate relationship with movies from the new millennium. Sure, reviews can be fun or cathartic, but there's also the risk of the occasional Twi-hard invasion or fireball to the face! ...That's how these things usually go, right? So join Il Neige as he braves the cinematic dangers that lie just beyond the fourth wall to critique the best and worst of 21st century filmmaking!
Click to see all our shows!
the agony booth
Batman Forever (1995) Movie Recap Page 6 of 14
Posted by Dan Laurikietis Posted on: November 17, 2008
Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

Cut to Wayne Manor the next day. Bruce is watching the odiously named "GNN" network, which is showing a retrospective news feature on the events that led to the origin of Two Face. At least, I assume it's a retrospective. Either that, or GNN is really late on their coverage.

The footage shows crusading DA Harvey Dent at the trial of underworld kingpin Sal "The Boss" Maroni. Maroni obviously doesn't care much for Harv's prosecutorial tone, because the next thing we know, he's tossing a vial of acid at the DA.

Obviously, this is the acid that's responsible for disfiguring half of Harvey's face and turning him into Two Face. But I would buy this more readily if the footage didn't show the acid hitting him dead center in the face. They try to compensate by showing Harvey cover half his face with a manila folder, but I doubt that would be very protective.

While this scene is as lame as a blind, monopedal donkey, it's actually right on the money in terms of fidelity to the comics. But I have to wonder exactly which acid is capable of turning human skin bright purple with shocking pink accents. I'm also curious as to how something as unruly as an airborne splatter of acid could create such a ruler-straight, perfect scarring right down the middle of Harvey's face.

The article continues after this advertisement...

While Harvey reels in pain, Batman leaps out of the crowd and runs towards him.

Wait a second. Batman attended the trial? Would any court in the world really allow the presence of a costumed vigilante? Moreover, does Batman have so little concern for his secret identity that he'd appear in broad daylight in the presence of dozens of people? Many of whom are operating cameras?

I know I should suspend my disbelief in this world of magic rope, green lightning, and fluorescent scar tissue, but still, I can't think of anything more out of character for Batman. Short of using a Bat-credit card to bid for a concubine at a charity auction.

The GNN announcer says that despite Batman's best efforts, "Dent's left brain damage turned him into a—" Posturing, cackling, incompetent motherfucker? Nope, "violent criminal" is her euphemism of choice. It seems Two Face blames Batman for his condition, and has vowed to destroy him.

Bruce watches the broadcast and is filled with shame, guilt, and remorse. I mean, he must be. Behold the evidence!

I know, Kilmer's just a maelstrom of emotion, isn't he?

Meanwhile, Alfred's on the phone to Commissioner Gordon, who's called to inform Bruce that there's been a messy incident at Wayne Enterprises.

Jump cut to the factory floor, where Bruce is taking Commissioner Gordon to see the security footage. I guess they couldn't find a security guard or a technician, so they had to get the company's CEO to do this. While we're at it, is it standard practice in a town as large and crime ridden as Gotham for the police commissioner to be at the scene of every suspicious incident?

They stroll straight past Edward who, not wanting to attract attention, hams it up with over the top weeping and wailing histrionics. He's being questioned by a very kindly cop, who keeps handing him tissues. Ed whips out a manufactured suicide note, and he assures the cop that it's absolutely the genuine article, with this not-at-all-suspicious line.

Ed: You'll find the handwriting matches his exactly. As does sentence structure and spelling.

Ah, yes. I can just imagine a group of Gotham's finest poring over the note, and one intrepid detective piping up with, "Stickley would never put a semi-colon there!"

Ed effectively tenders his resignation, stating that he couldn't possibly continue to work here because of all the memories... Memories of murder! Fearing he may not be making his point clear enough, Ed bursts into another flurry of tears and wails.

Bruce and Commissioner Gordon watch last night's security camera footage, and see the image of Fred Stickley. No, he's not being wheeled out on a chair. He is, in fact, running pell-mell at the window, sobbing melodramatically with his hands way up in the air, and doing jazz-fingers. It's like he's a 12 year old boy illustrating to another 12 year old boy how it looks to run like a girl.

And apparently, he's running with enough velocity to shatter the window with his face. I know suicide is almost never funny, but this is so guffawesome that a screen cap really doesn't do it justice.

Both the Commish and Bruce are able to keep straight faces, however. Gordon nods sagely and muses, "Yep, definitely suicide!" Which makes him about the most ineffectual law enforcement officer since Ed Hocken.

While Bruce is here, he decides he might as well do some work, and heads to his office. He muses that he has his suspicions about Stickley's suicide, but he's too heartbroken to consider it any further. Or too hungry. Or too inebriated. He's a difficult one to read, that Kilmer.

Bruce is shadowed by his secretary (I wonder if she's voice activated, too?), who asks him all sorts of business-type questions. Such as, who's he going to take to the circus? Seriously!

She then reminds Bruce that suicide is not covered by the corporate insurance policy, but Bruce insists that Stickley's family receive full benefits. This is supposed to be proof that Bruce is a bighearted guy, but it just makes me think of all the other poor, desperate employees that Bruce allowed to overwork themselves to the point of suicide, whose families didn't get squat!

But what's this? There's a black envelope with a green question mark on Bruce's desk. Ooh, I wonder what this could be!

His secretary admits she didn't see anyone drop it off, and then she lets him go ahead and open it. Well, that doesn't seem too smart. What if this was anthrax?

Instead, the envelope contains a cardboard cutout of Bruce's face, which turns into a wicked popup. 26 minutes in, and Val Kilmer's already been out-acted by a piece of cardboard. The popup reveals a riddle:

"If you look at the numbers on my face, you won't find thirteen any place."

Bruce solves the riddle instantly, surmising that the answer is a clock. He does this right in front of his secretary, rather than maintain the dull-witted playboy façade that conceals his identity. But then, as we'll see later on, this version of Bruce Wayne is about as prudent as Matt Murdock when it comes to protecting his secret identity.

And then, in true Adam West fashion, Bruce muses that the identity of whoever sent this envelope is the real riddle!

Caption contributed by Dan
If you count the emotions on my face....

I must admit, I like the riddles in this film. They appear to be one of the more intelligent, considered aspects of the film. I only hope they had consultants to write the things, because if they came from the pen of Akiva Goldsman, I'm going to implode.

Time for a change of scenery. Cut to an exterior shot of Ed's apartment, and wouldn't you know it, it's beneath a giant crossword-themed billboard. Ed enters his room, and it's a tiny, cramped, oppressive space littered with half-dismantled junk, more tacky green hat-wearing novelties, and also a fortune telling machine [?].

And the walls are plastered with various, defaced images of Bruce Wayne. The whole thing strikes just the right balance between wacky and creepy, and the production design team gets a big thumbs up from me for this effort.

Caption contributed by Dan
"Will my next film with Joel Schumacher be commercially and critically acclaimed?"

There's a brief montage of Ed cutting letters and words from newspapers and pasting them into his latest riddle. So, it's kind of like the prototype for the opening of Seven. But from this, I'm gleaning that Ed clearly hasn't absorbed all that much neural energy, because he's not even smart enough to wear gloves.

Moments later, Ed is sneaking up to the gates of Wayne Manor, and sticking his new riddle to the bars. He whispers a little threat and escapes on his risible moped. Truly, this is the beginning of a terrifying new presence in Gotham's underworld.

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