“Not so long ago, it seemed that to make a well-regarded, critically acclaimed movie, you needed to have something remarkable to say, or at least a unique perspective on life. But as the makers of last year’s indie sensation (500) Days of Summer have shown, all you really need to do is watch a lot of movies, and have one mildly crappy relationship, and you’ve earned the right to make your mundane life experiences into a film, and subsequently be hailed as a genius for it.”

“I generally don’t bitch about a film using live, on-the-set special effects, but when the ‘supposed to be likable’ lead character has the eyes of a killer, I balk.”

“Socrates was a firm believer in teaching by asking, ‘Why?’ Darren Lynn Bousman is a firm believer in teaching by asking, ‘Would you be capable of figuring this out without me here to hold your hand’?”

Because who says only video games can get terrible adaptations?

"No matter how good of a job the director did, and no matter how hard the screenwriters worked, nobody else's talent is ever going to fix the middle-aged woman's disturbing sparkly wank-dream that is Twilight."

“I’m really annoyed at how this movie is making me question the competence of every single human being in the universe.”

”Eight stories that are not so much bad as they are levels of Hell.”

The beginning of the end of the Batman film franchise.

“You know how Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band is this really insane, nonsensical, and totally brainless movie musical featuring great Beatles songs performed badly? Remove the words “great” and “Beatles” from the previous sentence, and you’re getting close to a description of this movie.”

A spoof in the tradition of Airplane!, if someone had replaced the first three reels of Airplane! with The Sorrow and the Pity.

"Why exactly did this movie turn out so terrible? Well, aside from the poor source material they were working with, it's pretty clear what doomed the movie: they just didn't give a shit."

For the role of an alien incapable of feeling emotions, they cast the Hollywood actor least capable of expressing them.

"What are friends for, if not to murder your dreams before making them come true?"

"Brannon Braga calls this one 'a royal, steaming stinker'. And when the guy who wrote the episode says that, it's pretty hard to disagree."

"What people who hate Western animation think the whole genre is like."

"It would all be so sinister, if I gave a shit."

"This episode will not be presented in real time. It'll only feel that way."

"Every shot is tilted at a different angle. I'd call this 'jarring', but I'd worry about offending jars."

"Yep, a Star Trek episode is going for a lighthearted tone, which can only mean one thing: Deep hurting… deep hurting!"

"Devoid of more source material to butcher, the filmmakers apparently decided to ignore what had come before and knock-off Power Rangers."