R.I.P. AMERICA (1776 - 2017)

We finally really did it! But come on, how many systems of government last for 241 years straight? I think we did a pretty good job, all things considered. But it’s all over now, baby blue. I’m tempted to say this is the worst day for the United States since 9/11, but then I’m reminded that 9/11 was just one day, whereas a Trump presidency is going to traumatize us all for the next four years. And I, for one, can’t wait to find out which utterly clueless serial groper we elect in 2020.

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  • Darknight

    Dark day, brother.

  • Pezdrake

    If there is a silver lining it’s that the GOP now has control over all three branches of government and no one to blame for the mess we’ll be in two and four years from now. The Death Star is clear to fire and we are sitting here on the Yavin moonbase. We are gonna get blowed up or pull off a game changing turnaround.

    • Chris Hedrick

      Oh, they can still blame the democrats for not falling into line, and the republican voters will still believe it. And just like Bush before him, they’ll vote Trump back into office to fix the mess he caused.

      • Pezdrake

        This is why we have to control the narrative. At some point t the prevailing narrative became “Republicans are good with money”. This is abjectly false. We need our reps to repeat, “WE ALL KNOW that Republicans run up the debt/ are bad on the economy and EVERY time someone challenges that we need to SHOUT them down and bully them with facts. Republicans have gone too long pretending fiscal policy is only about spending, not taxing.

        Every time the words “debt” or “deficit” come up, we need to wrangle that conversation to make it about revenue, not expenditures.

        • Jeremy Pinkham

          It’s hard to control the narrative when the #1 cable “news” network is a mouthpiece for the Republican party.

  • MLPFIM

    I’m just going to look at this as one surreal event in a year full of them.
    And live my life as normal.
    It’s worked before, and chances are good it’ll work now.

  • Cartman

    Your tears, Scott… mmmmm, they’re so salty and delicious…

  • Cheshire Cat

    Though I disagree with your opinion, I acknowledge your right to it. I love Agony Booth regardless of political or religious affiliations. Keep up the good work.

    • Jeremy Pinkham

      That’s a cool response. High five to you.

  • K

    Funny, I’d understood that America was doomed when Ronald Reagan was elected. And when Bill Clinton was elected. And when George W. Bush was elected. And when Barack Obama was elected. I was rather young at the time, but I think they also said that when Richard Nixon was elected. History texts read that was a reaction when FDR was elected four times. And, before that, when TR became President. And, of course, when Lincoln was elected.
    I’m not wild about Donald Trump as President, but I’m pretty sure the U.S. will survive, just as we would’ve survived Hillary Clinton as President.

  • Cheshire Cat

    If you walked up to someone who lost family in 9/11 and told them “that 9/11 was just one day,” I wonder how they would respond.

  • Low Mileage Pit Woofie

    If it helps, Donald didn’t want to actually win either. He enjoyed getting the cheers and the headlines, but he doesn’t have the nous to actually sit down and do work; that’s why he’s failed in business more times than he succeeded.

  • rtpoeman

    I shudder to think of what was going through Obama’s mind as he showed Trump around the White House…

    “This is the Truman Balcony (gags), named for Truman who had it added in 1948….. This is the Lincoln Bedroom, which gets its name because it was used by him as an office. Over here is a copy of the Gettysburg Address, the only one that is actually signed and dated by Abraham Lincoln (chokes down vomit)…. This is the Oval Office, and this is the “Resolute Desk”. It’s made from wood recovered from the exploration ship H.M.S. Resolute, and was a gift of Queen Victoria to President Rutheford Hayes and the American people. It’s been used by presidents ever since…. (throws up on carpet)…”

    • Pooh Bear

      “And speaking of the Resolute, here’s a pen holder crafted from timbers from its sister ship, given to me personally by Prime Minister Brown. I, of course, gave him a set of TMC classic movies on DVD I had a flunky grab from the White House gift shop at the last minute because that’s precisely how many shits I don’t give.”

  • Michael Lang

    What an idiotic post. Are you like 15 years old? Stick to movies moron.

  • James

    What a bunch of idiotic hyperbole.

  • Yermom

    When I conduct job interviews, I love hiring the rudest fuck with no job skills. Welcome to the game show; enjoy your bread and circus and break out the lube, because you’re about to get fucked.

    • Greenhornet

      But OBAMA’s leaving office; why bring him up?

      • Chris Palmer

        Why indeed did you bring him up, Greenhornet?

  • hermit_boy

    Funny. I used to visit this site and read all the reviews. That was a couple years ago, and just today I happened upon this link buried in my bookmarks. I started reading a few reviews, then happened upon this, and now I remember why I stopped reading here. Too bad. It used to be a good movie site before it became political.