Peggy Noonan Gets Her Feminist On. No, We’re Serious.

Did you watch This Week with George Stephanopoulos yesterday? Haha of course not. No big deal, because we have the clip that matters, where the roundtable discusses the ouster of Jill Abramson and we get to see Bill Kristol, nascent populist, and Peggy Noonan, budding socialist.

So this roundtable feature is exactly like every other teevee news show that wants to cram as many talking heads into one 10-minute slot as is humanly possible. This week, it was former Michigan governor Jennifer Granholm, current Congressman Keith Ellison (D-Awesome), lipless vessel of smuggery Bill Kristol, and Peggy Noonan. And you know who was the fucking best? PEGGY NOONAN, NO LIE.

So you can imagine that this “debate” went exactly as you would have expected, with Jennifer Granholm, firmly dwelling in a fact-based world, pointing out that women journos everywhere get paid less than men. Keith Ellison, bless his heart, tried to use this to pivot to a general indictment of society — that women are paid less in every sector and also too that a minimum wage rise would benefit women specifically. Bill Kristol was having none of that, and had to interrupt his surreptitious Sarah Palin fapping to engage in some concern trolling about liberals that we’re sure sounded brilliant when he practiced it in front of the mirror.

“I love the idea that the liberal elite is not very worried about the persecution of Jill Abramson, who made only $750,000 a year in last year at the New York Times,” Kristol said. “I think you should be more upset about Arthur Sulzberger. …Why does he run New York Times’? Because he inherited it. Shouldn’t you be more upset about that? Shouldn’t you be more upset about the top-1% thing?”

Special secret message for Billy boy: the “liberal elite” is actually capable of holding more than one idea in its head at the same time, unlike you, so you should not be surprised to learn that we’re actually no fans of the Sulzberger nepotism inheritance of the paper of record either. Also too Bill Kristol, you never met a rich person you didn’t want to lick the boots of, so shut the fuck up.

It’s weird that we have to rely upon Peggy Noonan to bring the hammer down on Kristol, particularly as she already has the slow-talking demeanor of the terminally drunk trying to appear sober, even at this hour of the morning, but Peggy brings it all back home, people.

“Somehow the attention and criticism I think was focused on the woman in this story, Jill, and not on, say, the fellow who runs the paper, who has had a heck of a lot of executive editors in the last decade, who has hired them, who has fired them, so perhaps there’s some temperament going on there, you know. We don’t know the exact facts, all the exact facts about money, but has there been a little pushing around of a woman here? I suspect so. […]

There’s a form of power in the world that’s ‘yeah, I’m very important now, I have this fabulous job, I hire and fire people, I am important, I am powerful.’ And then you realize no, you can be removed tomorrow. The person who owns the institution is the powerful person, and that is part of the inherent unfairness and yet immovable factuality of life.”

Yes, Peggy, that is indeed the immovable factuality of capitalism and it is completely unfair that no matter how hard you work, you are beholden to your capitalist masters. We eagerly await Peggy’s drunken liveblogging of her first attempts to get through Marx. It’ll be great.

[Mediaite/This Week]

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  • Nounverb911

    I bet Peggy never realized that Murdoch inherited his money too, also.

  • $73376667

    Peg, the phrase you’re groping for is “owns the means of production.”

  • Lex Luthor

    That should be “Granholm” in the second paragraph. You’ve got it right later on.

  • Ambignostic

    “Shaq is rich. The white guy who pays Shaq is wealthy.” — Peggy Noonan

  • Homestar

    I can’t decide which is more stomach turning, Kristol’s voice or his face.