Dec 20, 2017
Rightwing Norway Mass Killer Anders Breivik Thinks He Is Martin Luther King Jr., Apparently
Just to prove that someone can be both a sociopath and a whiner, Norwegian mass killer Anders Breivik is protesting the conditions he must endure in prison, so he has announced he will go on a hunger strike if his jailers don’t grant him certain fundamental human rights, like video games that don’t suck. In a letter sent to several press agencies, he outlined his demands, which he is willing to starve to get. He wants a sofa, a larger gym to work out in, and perhaps most crucially for his basic well-being, a better videogame console than the crappy old Playstation 2 he has to put up with now. It is not yet known whether Amnesty International will be including him in any updates on the plight of prisoners of conscience.
AFP has details of the correspondence; it may be a while before it replaces King’s “Letter From Birmingham Jail” in anthologies:
The demands include better conditions for his daily walk and the right to communicate more freely with the outside world, which he argues are in line with European rights legislation.
He also demanded the replacement of a PlayStation 2 games console for a more recent PS3 “with access to more adult games that I get to choose myself” as well as a sofa or armchair instead of a “painful” chair.
“Other inmates have access to adult games while I only have the right to play less interesting kids games. One example is “Rayman Revolution”, a game aimed at three year olds,” wrote the 35-year-old convicted killer.
We can’t for a single moment imagine why anyone would object to giving the killer of 77 people, most of them teenagers, a copy of Modern Warfare 3. Were it not for international conventions against torture, we would favor letting him only have a copy of Flappy Bird.
Breivik also demanded an end to physical searches, and access to a better computer than the one he currently can use, a “worthless typewriter with technology dating back to 1873.” Poor thing.
And just to add an extra dollop of ick, in a November letter to prison officials, Breivik threatened that if his demands are not met and he dies from his hunger strike, then
all of Europe’s right-wing extremists will know exactly who it was that tortured me to death … That could have consequences for certain individuals in the short term but also when Norway is once again ruled by a fascist regime in 13 to 40 years from now,” he warned, calling himself a “political prisoner”.
So it’s like they say — prisoners often develop a rich fantasy life. No word yet on whether Norwegian prison officials plan to grant any of Breivik’s requests, or if they will instead remind him that he is grounded, and if he thinks grounded means he gets privileges, then he has another think coming. And then, the lutefisk.