New York Times Now Holding Up Poor NYU Juniors For Terrible Ridicule, Mockery (By Us)
Why are you doing this, New York Times? Why are you taking what we’re sure is a very nice young woman, and forcing us to mock her horribly, and unkindly — as horribly and unkindly as if she’d put up a terrible Thought Catalog — when all she wanted was to find a reasonably nice apartment near NYU? NYT, are you actually evil?
We are not even going to name the young dummy in question; she will have enough following her around with the NEW YORK TIMES STORY with HER NAME ON IT that makes her sound LIKE A HUGE ASSHOLE. Suffice it to say she is a 21-year-old junior from San Diego, and she was a mite particular with her living situation. She did not care for her shared NYU dorm (been there!) but in her case, unlike in ours, she and her five dormmates had a six-“bedroom” suite for like $1000 each per month. (Twenty years ago, if you care at all, which why on earth would you, it was about $600 per month each to share three bedrooms and a kitchen with five other women at the Third Avenue North dorm. So, not bad, NYU! You may have gotten even a little less greedy!) Anyway, it was too loud for our heroine, and noise came in from the living room, and she has trouble sleeping, so her parents said, oh darling, of course we will give you $1850 a month to have a place of your own. So far, so not the worst thing we’ve ever heard in the world. BUT WAIT.
That’s when our heroine started looking at places.
She looked at a dark shithole and passed it up. Fair enough! But the next?
On East 25th Street, near Second Avenue, a studio in the back of a small 1920 walk-up building with a sleeping loft was available for $1,950 a month. Ms. Csordas-Jenkins, an aspiring actress who is studying theater and dramatic literature, liked it but thought it was too far from campus.
She knew she would fret about rising early enough for class.
“It seemed like the potential for a really stressful situation for me if I woke up late and had to wait for the train,” she said.
NEEDLE SCRATCH. Isn’t Second Ave. and 25th Street roughly a mile and a half from NYU’s campus? Yes. Yes it is. A brisk 30-minute walk. Our young lady is starting to sound a wee bit unreasonable. And a wee bit special-snowflakey. And a wee bit THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T STOP HATING ON MILLENNIALS MY GOD WHAT IS EVEN WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE. You might feel some stress? About waking up late? And having to wait for your train to take you 1.5 miles?
When you are in the grocery store, and you see a grown man with Down syndrome or something similar holding his dear father’s hand, after you shed a few discreet tears at the sweetness of it, do you worry about what will happen to that man when his parents are gone? I do.
What on earth will happen to the Millennials?
Eventually, our young lady found a place for only $2100 per month. It was small, and quite ugly, and the sink had a clog. But the super eventually managed to fix it. Thank God. Can you imagine the harrowing tale the NYT might have treated us to if he hadn’t?