| The Cast of Characters: |
| Johnny Blaze/Ghost Rider (Nicolas Cage). An indestructible stunt rider transformed into a bounty hunter for the Devil. Looks like trouble, but sounds like the young Elvis. Basically, a mope who wears leather and leaves property damage wherever he goes. In other words, a typical biker. |
| Roxanne (Eva Mendes). As the obligatory love interest, she has little to do beyond rockin’ good cleavage. Thankfully, she’s up to the task. |
| Mephistopheles/El Diablo/Devil Minora (Peter Fonda). A bit of stunt casting, with the original Easy Rider appearing in a motorcycle-centric picture. He stands around giving lots of speeches, and is pretty much the most ineffectual Prince of Darkness ever. |
| The Caretaker (Sam Elliott). The intellectual center of the film. Provides narration in his southern warble, filling in all the huge gaps in the meager plot. |
| Blackheart (Wes Bentley). The son of Mephistopheles, who’s looking to overthrow his old man. You may remember Wes as the brooding neighbor from American Beauty who liked to videotape garbage bags. Here, he’s even more taciturn. He’s supposed to sound menacing, but instead comes off like he could only memorize his lines one at a time. |
Years ago, the synthetic pin-up Pamela Anderson took on the role of comic book heroine Barb Wire. In preparation for the role, she got a tattoo of barbed wire encircling her bicep. I mention this because, in similar fashion, Nicolas Cage showed equal dedication to the role of Ghost Rider. However, ironically, a makeup team had to cover up his flaming skull tattoo so he could play the part. That’s the kind of logic that went into this production, and much like Pammie’s little film, Ghost Rider became a big embarrassment as well.
The blame for this flaming wreckage falls squarely on the shoulders of director/writer Mark Steven Johnson. Well, he may not be entirely to blame, seeing as how Columbia Pictures and Marvel Entertainment actually turned the reigns over to Johnson despite his work on the thoroughly vilified Daredevil.
In general, it always amuses me to see a director take the helm of a comic book film and do nothing but talk fanservice—saying how true to the canon he’ll be, and listing all the historical touchstones of the character he plans to include—only to then be destroyed by legions of fanboys once his movie is released. Because comic book fans are a demographic second only to the praying mantis when it comes to eating their own.
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In order to kick start this adventure (get it?), we open with the now familiar Marvel logo, which appears amid the flipping pages of various comic books, with notable panels from the history of the Ghost Rider character. We get snippets of Ghost Rider from decades back to more contemporary images, with my favorite involving the Rider encountering a shark. I’d love to read the story that led up to that image!
The Marvel company logo appears and morphs into the Ghost Rider version, complete with flames, spikes, and metallic sound effects. This is apt, as it becomes emblematic of the way this movie will sully the company’s good name.
A close-up on a full moon is accompanied by a voiceover introduction, courtesy of Sam Elliott, who prattles on about legends of the Old West. Sammy tells us that every generation has a Ghost Rider, a cursed soul who rides the earth “collecting on the Devil’s deals”. So... sort of like a loan shark enforcer, or a bookie’s muscle?
The multiple exposure images we get here are quasi-religious, as well as heavy on the fire imagery. May as well get used to it now. You’ll see more flames over the next 110 minutes than in the stands at a playoff game in Calgary.
This is the kind of film that needs all the backstory support it can get, so please pay attention. “Many years ago”, a Ghost Rider was sent to the village of San Vanganza to retrieve a contract worth 1,000 evil souls. This contract was conveniently nailed to the front door of a church, which seems like a curious place for the Devil to have business documents delivered, but I don’t have a degree in theistic studies, nor an MBA, so what do I know?
This particular contract was supposed to be extremely important (though, 1K in souls seems paltry by underworld standards). The Rider didn’t want it to fall into the wrong hands, so he became the first such rider to outrun the Devil.
And this is only the beginning of the numerous ways the most powerful demon in all of creation is portrayed as basically inept throughout the movie. Here, the Rider’s getaway is aided by the fact that the lord of the underworld is spooked by a flash of flames, and also that he’s incapable of keeping up with a guy on horseback. This doesn’t really match up with the Devil’s ability to hunt down a person on a motorcycle as seen later in the movie, but let’s not get nitpicky just yet.
You’re on a horse, he needs a cane; not the most impressive escape.
Sam intones, “The thing about legends is... sometimes they’re true.” That’s the kind of line that would work a lot better if we had seen anything that looked the least bit believable. Pan up to the moon, which melds into a wheel, then a wheel on fire, and then we ride along with a cartoonish flame-intensive animated credit sequence from the POV of a motorcycle headlight, complete with a couple of ramp jumps. (Check your local helmet laws.)
Some say that was Demi Moore’s role opposite Patrick Swayze.
To recover from all that oppressive imagery, we segue to a cheerful, colorful carnival. But this doesn’t last long. A carnival barker announces the death-defying stunt cycle spectacular, and then we’re in a tent... with more fire.
A captive audience inside a canvas tent, with hay on the floor. Great place for a fire.
Two motorcycles cross in the air through a ring of fire, while a cute teen girl is too afraid to watch. This is the stunt show of Barton and Johnny Blaze, a father-son stunt riding team, and the girl is Roxie, Johnny’s love interest. He almost takes a spill showing off for her, and afterward, Dad is in full lecture mode about him being too much of a hotshot. He asks Johnny if he thinks that girl will stick around when he’s in a wheelchair. And then Dad has a telling cough, while tossing away a cigarette. So what this movie seems to be saying is: cigarettes, bad; stunt motorcycle riding, not so much.
Next, Roxie is with Johnny as he’s carving their names into a tree, and they sit and take in a beautiful vista. So romantic is this moment, that Roxie is inspired to drop a bomb on Johnny by telling him that her dad is sending her away to live with her mother. Johnny is so distraught, he nearly has a reaction.
Johnny: What about us?
Roxie: He says you’re not good enough for me. That you’re just a phase.
Her dad has a point. He is a carnie, after all. Johnny proposes they meet the next morning and ride off together, stunt riding and fried dough be damned!
