It's the High School AU based on Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew! Who'd have thought such a crappy play could make such an awesome film? In today's episode: A Party Also Known As An Orgy, Allison Janney, Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Ye Olde Butchered English. Enjoy!

"The movie presents actual 'history', but only the sort of ancient history that comes about from forgetting you have a test on paleontology until the night before, and then half-watching Jurassic Park in lieu of actually studying. And then, based on the events in the latter portion of this movie, chasing it with a repeat of Stargate SG-1."

Cecil reviews another of his favorite post-apocalyptic flicks, a cheesy Franco-Italian cash-in on Escape from New York. After a nuclear war, the entire human race is rendered sterile. It's up to a mercenary named Parsifal (not a typo) to infiltrate the ruins of New York City and find the last fertile woman on earth.

Three mighty reviewers (Film Renegado, Mr. Mendo, and Sofie Liv) team up to review the movie where Spider-Man is a psycho rapist crime boss who has to be stopped by Captain America and El Santo, in one of the most nonsensical and confusing plots ever.

The way to survive this movie? Turn it into Mystery Science Theater 3000 Miles to Graceland.

“Not so long ago, it seemed that to make a well-regarded, critically acclaimed movie, you needed to have something remarkable to say, or at least a unique perspective on life. But as the makers of last year’s indie sensation (500) Days of Summer have shown, all you really need to do is watch a lot of movies, and have one mildly crappy relationship, and you’ve earned the right to make your mundane life experiences into a film, and subsequently be hailed as a genius for it.”

It promised to be "not your little brother's animation", but instead, we got Tim Burton-style action figures acting out The Terminator.

"Is there a more over the top way of killing your enemy than sending a team of goons over to his place to fire bomb him into the afterlife? I can only imagine they went that route because a tactical nuke would have been too expensive."

In 1914, Thomas Edison didn’t have color film. He didn’t have sound. He didn’t have talent. He didn’t have any understanding of even the most basic filmmaking techniques. What he did have was the Christmas spirit. It was not enough.

It's Joey's hate-filled review of The Return of Jafar, a lazy, badly animated cash-in on Aladdin, and the first (and probably worst) Disney direct-to-video sequel!

Sofie goes down the rabbit hole for Alice in Wonderland, another visually impressive yet incoherent mess from Tim Burton, starring Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter, Helena Bonham Carter as the Red Queen, Anne Hathaway as the White Queen, and Mia Wasikowska as Alice. Watch and wonder how a movie this mediocre made a billion damn dollars.

It's time to take a look at one of Don Bluth's strangest films! Set in the late 1930s, the movie is about a German shepherd voiced by Burt Reynolds who gets killed by his business partner, but leaves Heaven and goes back to Earth to exact his brutal, violent revenge. With the help of a cute orphan!

The sequel to 1989's All Dogs Go to Heaven has a new director, a new set of writers, no Don Bluth, and the German Shepherd originally voiced by Burt Reynolds is now being voiced by, of all people, Charlie Sheen. Because sequels where a majority of the cast and crew from the original aren't involved work out well, right?

“Come to think of it, James Earl Jones does go through the entire film looking like wants to Force Choke someone. And I can sympathize.”

"Let it just be known that this film is stupid. And we're talking slam-your-head-down-on-the-table-dumb here."

Morgan Freeman reprises his Kiss the Girls role as retired D.C. detective Alex Cross, who's lured back into action when a senator's daughter is kidnapped. He teams up with a Secret Service agent (Monica Potter) and the two spend most of the film trying to out-bland each other. FoQ explains how the movie is nowhere near as smart as the book, yet still enjoyably dumb.