Morning Sideboob: Justin Watch: 2014

Justin’s Arrest—the Dirty Details

Oh, what a difference a week makes. Just five days ago, Justin Bieber didn’t have a care in the world. Know how we know? He posted of video of himself ice-skate-dancing to French Montana’s “Ain’t Worried About Nothin'” to his Instagram account.

He wanted us to know that in spite of eggs flying through the air, police raids, and allegations of drug abuse, he was “worried ’bout nothing,” see?

Then yesterday, this happened.

Morning Sideboob: Justin Watch: 2014

The ear-to-ear smile and glazed-over pupils in Justin’s mugshot kind of denote the same sentiment. He’s still ice-skate-dancing in his head.

Since this is the only thing everyone is talking about, there have been a number of details that have emerged since JB’s arrest this morning in Miami for DUI, resisting arrest without violence, drag racing, and driving on an expired license.

For one, his dear old dad was with him all night prior to the arrest and even helped to block off a residential street so his baby boy could drag race. Once busted, Justin admitted to police that he had ingested prescription drugs, alcohol, and weed. Meanwhile, his mom is asking all Beliebers out there to take a break from praying for big boobs and pray for her son. However, Justin is now claiming that it was his mom who provided him with the prescription drugs in the first place. The humanity!

The jailbird has since been released on bail ($2,500), but not before appearing at a televised bond hearing because that is Florida and that’s how they do.

We’re sure this is just the beginning and we’ll be hearing a lot more about the situation in the days to come. Can’t. Hardly. Wait.

Sean Penn and Charlize Theron’s Monster Romance

We love it when two hot, down-to-earth celebs hook up. We love the possibility of them spawning perfect physical specimens who will never have to work for a living. Well, this ain’t it. After many years of whooping it up as a single lady (she broke it off with longtime boyfriend Stuart Townsend in 2010), Charlize Theron is now sporting a pretty serious “In a Relationship” status and it’s with Sean Penn, 53. (Cue sad music.) Sean is a talented actor and even an impressive humanitarian. We’re just not sold on his skills at being a mild-mannered gent with the ladies.

There’s been some speculation about the burgeoning duo, but Piers Morgan let the official notice slip during a recent blog post for The Daily Mail’s Event magazine.

In his column, the CNN star recounts attending the Jan. 11 Help Haiti Home gala, and confirmed that Sean Penn and Charlize Theron are, indeed, dating.

“I walked over to Sean’s table, where he was sitting with new girlfriend Charlize Theron,” Morgan wrote. “‘I’m so glad you two have got together,’ I said, ‘Sean’s a great guy.'”

“‘I know,’ she smiled, putting her hand round his shoulder,” the Piers Morgan Tonight host recalled of speaking with Theron, 38.

Sean has long earned the title of bad boy and has had a history of getting into altercations with paparazzi. His ex-wife number one, Madonna, made allegations that he once hit her with a baseball bat and on another occasion tied her to a chair and beat her. That was followed by a tumultuous marriage to ex-wife number two, Robin Wright.

Let’s hope that time has mellowed Spicoli. And if it hasn’t, Sean needs to beware. At 5’10”, we think Charlize can handle herself. And she’s well known for making quick transformations when the situation calls for it. Don’t feed her after midnight.

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[US Weekly]

The Walhbergs Throw Their Brother a Bone

The last thing an A-list celebrity needs is a reality show. Mark Walhberg does not need a reality show. It’s also the last thing a B-list celebrity needs. Donnie Walhberg doesn’t need one, either. You know who does need a reality show? The brother of an A-list and B-list celebrity. We can just imagine Mrs. Walhberg pulling Mark and Donnie by the ears to make them agree to appear on A&E’s new docu-series The Walhburgers, : which premiered Wednesday: “Do it for your brutha!”

Mark has racked up quite a career, first as Marky Mark of the Funky Bunch and then with box office gold like Boogie Nights, Ted, The Departed, and Lone Survivor. Donnie made millions of girls cry themselves to sleep on their New Kids on the Block pillowcases in the ’80s, and followed that up with success on the small screen (Boomtown, Boston’s Finest, Blue Bloods). Their older brother, Paul , just wants to serve a wicked burger. So somehow he convinced his brothers to clean their schedules and appear on a show that documents life at the family’s restaurant. Mark, especially, looks thrilled to be a part of it.

“Now, are you happy, ma? Now can we stop hearing about ‘poor Paulie’ at Christmas dinna?”

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