If Madonna Can’t Text During A Movie Then The Terrorist Slavers Have Already Won

If Madonna Can't Text During A Movie Then The Terrorist Slavers Have Already Won

Next time you attend a film at the Alamo Drafthouse, which you sadly get to do only if you’re in Texas, you will never have to deal with the specter of an unruly texting Madonna, because the Alamo has banned her forever after a lady in New York made Madonna a slave:

A world famous Texas cinema chain with a zero tolerance policy towards anti-social filmgoers has “banned” Madonna from all its screens after she was reportedly caught texting during a screening of 12 Years A Slave at the New York Film Festival.

Quick question: How does a theater in Texas have jurisdiction over movie crimes in NYC? Is it possible the Alamo might be trying to get some attention?

Well, mission accomplished!

The singer is reported to have spent much of the premiere, at the Walter Reade Theater in New York’s Lincoln Center, for Steve McQueen’s Oscar-tipped tale of a free black man sold into slavery in the antebellum south tapping away on her Blackberry, much to the annoyance of other filmgoers. When one woman tapped her on the shoulder and requested the singer stop, Madonna is reported to have remarked: “It’s for business … enslaver!” and continued texting away.

Madonna uses a Blackberry? Is this like a so old it is new kind of thing? Some sort of ironic hipster move by the ever au courant Madge? Either way, how unfair that some peasant in a theater is stopping Madonna from expressing herself, which is totes just like slavery. Regarding which, we will remind the Alamo, the Alamo was on the losing side.

NO TEXTING NO JUSTICE NO PEACE.

[Guardian]

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  • malsperanza

    Alamo Drafthouse is opening a branch in NYC, yay.

  • Jason Luthor

    There are a lot of things I dislike about Texas, but the Drafthouse’s awesome texting policy isn’t one of them.

  • $73376667

    She was in New York? Why isn’t she on the Terrorist Watch List yet?