Love Us Today Love Us Tomorrow: Happy Nice Time People Dot Com Is Here To Meet Your Every Need

ATTENTION HUMANS. Your HappyNiceTimePeople is here, to bring you joy and Nice Times and dumb bullshit about, like, Marky Mark and whatever. Don’t like Mark Wahlberg? Then get the fuck out! YOU ARE NOT THE CHANGE WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR.

But, you are asking yourself, is this site really going to be happy, and nice time? Well, probably not. Even when we are really truly trying for nice, we tend to end up calling people cunts and motherfuckers and hating everything anyone tries to do that is good and nice for the world. But we figured cattybitches.com might be bad for advertising.

So who are we? Well we are the big shining brains behind Wonkette.com, which is news and politics and very rude things. I am Rebecca Schoenkopf, your evil overlord, and Lisa Needham is some lady I yell at in our secret chatcave. She used to be known as “Snipy,” back when she was scratching away for us from her government-issue mimeograph machine in the wilds of … Minnetonka? Is that right? Ho ho ho, like it matters, FLYOVER COUNTRY.

Also there will be other people who write for us. And they will write about … things! Things you like, like movies and teevee and food and fashion and … sports? Cars or something? FEELINGS? Sure! They will write about their “feelings.” Hahahaha, no they won’t. Unless their feelings are about why they are mad that Rhoda was considered the ugly one, because “Jew.”

So bookmark our shit and stalk our Twitter and thumb-up our Faceybook and then come back here for everything you need to know to be a Civilized Human Bean.

Love,
Rebecca Schoenkopf
Imperial Overlord

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  • PDA

    Bulleit! Baby pools full of sweet, sweet bourbon. write about THAT.

  • HabsFan29

    I, for one, welcome our new Evil Imperial Overlords.

  • SullivanSt

    YAY NICE TIME!Boo, Disqus :/ (although at least it’s not quite as intense a suckfest as it used to be)

  • x111e7thst

    Sportball.There should be writings about sportball. It is the American way.

  • YAY! Happy nice time! And I totally love Marky Mark! except for that time he nearly blinded that Vietnamese man in a hate crime he has barely apologized for, but other than that.. YAY!

  • KatieAnnieOakley

    Very kewl… in a happy timey kinda way.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Disqus, huh? So we get split P’s soup. I wonder if they’ll allow comments here…

  • Aw geez… we’re in for it.BTW: cattybitches.com is expired… might still could get it 😛

  • JKMas

    So…Buzzfeed with more colorful language, looser editorial standards, and a unicorn vomit color scheme.Yeah, sure, I’d click that.

  • Pandora Maltese

    oh i will, you can be sure of it. and so pleased to do so. bwahahahahaha…..

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    so is Imperial Overlord a promotion from Editrix?

  • edith prickly

    Really Editrix? Disqus for comments? Ugh. I’ll try to forgive you.

    • Dylan Black

      Yeah this seems…dirty somehow.

  • Nounverb911

    So, we aren’t allowed to comment here either?

  • justaHippie

    I can dig it.

  • Deleted

    This post was deleted.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    So when do we Warblog against Wonket? We need to listen to Johnny Mac and bomb them before they know what hit them. I think with a nice surge we can take them…

    • FauxAntocles

      Hey, don’t you see the poster to the left – the commie lady with her finger to her lips? Take a hint! Ixnay on the evolutionray!(Hmm, evolution ray… What would happen if we used that on Congress?)

  • Nifty. I like the Peter Max homage.

  • PubOption

    I am assuming that Ken Layne is banned from the site.

  • GeneralLerong

    Peter Max colors and Soviet posters? Ginandtacos, we have a blind date for you.

  • max

    But we figured cattybitches.com might be bad for advertising.But I would like cattybitches.com.max[‘At any rate, a better buzzfeed than buzzfeed would be grand.’]

  • JoeChristmas

    wow, there is a downfisty thingy and I can skip between here and Breibart. Just like old times. minus Ken Layne, and a few other old friends. ; (

  • obamafone

    “cattybitches.com”I would totally hit that.

  • Guest

    The agar-agar of Merican culchah….