Kanye West’s New Video Is Exactly What Happens When Your Friends Fail To Tell You Something Is A Bad Idea

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_6I089_mrE

So Kanye decided to go on Ellen, because that is where you go when you go H.A.M.*, for real, to debut his new video for Bound 2, one of the way-weakest songs on “Yeezus.” No disrespect for the Ellen Show, in fact mad love for the Ellen show, but it was a pretty odd choice given the video, which is a green screen stock footage PG-13 nudie travesty.

Let’s roll the tape, shall we?

Urmm. There’s horses. But they’re horses from one of those paintings your grandma kept behind the sofa, except they’re actually moving. Why are there horses, you guys?

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Now Kanye is riding his motorcycle wearing a tie-dyed t-shirt we all had in high school, except he’s riding against some sort of greenscreen landscape and it looks like those old movies where they’re “driving” and the same scenery loops and loops.

Kanye_West_-_Bound2__Full_Uncensored_Version__-_YouTube

Kanye appears to be wearing at least three different plaid shirts.

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Now we’re in a fake forest instead of fake mountains and Kanye is lit like he is Jesus.

Kanye_West_-_Bound2__Full_Uncensored_Version__-_YouTube 2

This is the uncensored version. Where are the uncensored things???? Is it this sideboob of Kim Kardashian riding Kanye and Kanye’s bike? BO-RING.

Video__Kanye_West___Bound_2___Starring_a_Topless_Kim_Kardashian___News___Pitchfork-3

There’s slightly more boobage as time goes on, but you’ll have to watch the vid to see that because we are a family blog and aren’t going to screenshot boobies for you, pervs.

Verdict: Kanye is in desperate need of people that will tell him “no.” Also, we never want to watch this again.

*Hard As a Motherfucker, Oldz. Come on now.

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  • rmontcal

    This is terrible.

  • Wow, this is worse than the worst karaoke I have ever heard. How the fuck is this making money? [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/Z2YCxDg.gif[/IMG]

  • estevan

    Hyper-ironic? I love how this video confirms my disdain for his “talent”.

  • Annie Towne

    In this case, I’m so very happy to be “oldz.”

  • Mg Hardie

    Actually the video is tight. It’s his personal FU to the haters.What makes it funnier is that y’all don’t get it.

    • Figurine

      there’s nothing to “get”. this video is bad and he is not a good artist any more. i use to like kanye but since his third album he’s been a pile of s**t

  • BMW

    Worst. Sextape. Ever.

  • JoyP

    I can honestly say I’ve never heard his music. I can honestly say I never want to after seeing this. As far as a FU to haters, I missed it. You’re right, I don’t get it.

  • Whoa Nellie

    ok, so I suffered thru this video, waiting for some sort of artistic cohesion that never happened. Was this man inebriated when he put this together? KK seems drugged too. Video was like a bunch of mismatched, ugly clothes worn by ugly people. And he’s making money with this?? Damn. I’m in the wrong line of work.

  • Farb

    When I first heard Kanye West open his yap and pass wind across his vocal cords I realized I had somewhere else to be.

  • Farb

    At the grocery box stores you can already buy bacon, all cured and packaged, for a couple bucks. So why would anyone Kim Kardashian?

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    truly horrible. that video was even worse thanthis

  • Also, too, Kimmy’s hair is blowing the wrong way, unless that bike is moving backwards.

  • Figurine

    terrible