Jane the Virgin: We Can('t) Work It Out

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Previously on Jane the Virgin:

  • Rafael has decided that money is the most important thing so he breaks up with Jane so he can get those Benjamins, baby!
  • Petra has been kidnapped by Roman who was actually Aaron!
  • Rogelio finally said “I love you” to Xiomara, but he might be saying “I hate you” when he finds out she kissed Hot Soccer Dad
  • Jane is trying to become a romance writer, and she’s debating whether to warn Michael that her classmate Andie is actually his stalker ex
  • Oh yeah, remember Petra’s crazy mother Magda? We haven’t heard from her in a while. Might as well bring her back for drama or something.

We all know that Jane got the “Sex is bad! Because you will get pregnant and DIE!” Catholic version of sex education when she was a kid and actually believed it. Seriously, I can’t believe Jane took sex advice from women in funny outfits who claim to be married to a metaphysical being in the sky.

However, Jane is grateful that she is still a virgin after Rafael dumped her because that’s the only thing she can be happy about after she was dumped by the guy whose sperm she is accidentally inseminated with and left her fiance for. Jane tries to cycle through the stages of grief after a breakup but decides that she cannot be an unwed pregnant Latina with a deadbeat baby daddy when this is a show meant to be breaking stereotypes about Latinos in the media.

She confronts Rafael, who still doesn’t tell her about his meeting with his mother and instead tells her that they are just too different to be together. “But the best thing for the baby is for us to be together!” insists Jane, ignoring the fact that she was the product of a single parent family who turned out pretty well. Before they can argue even further, Jane’s friends burst in and announce that it’s time for the baby shower! Lina makes Jane and Rafael take a picture together and pronounces them the cutest couple ever, much to the couple’s embarrassment. Well, they should start practicing taking awkward pictures with forced smiles now so they have it down when the baby comes.

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Future family portrait.

Roman has kidnapped Petra to the Everglades and warns her that if she tries to escape, he will kill her like he killed his twin brother and then find her an identical twin so no one will notice she’s missing. Petra prays for an alligator to save her, but instead Michael is on the case! I feel like an alligator would have been way more helpful.

At Casa Villanueva, Rogelio happily reports that he’s been offered a one night concert in Las Vegas and wants Xiomara to open for him. Xiomara should be happy, but she is still racked with guilt. No, not because she is only getting a career boost from her baby daddy but because she doesn’t know how to tell Rogelio that she kissed another guy.

At the hotel, Jane mopes about Rafael, and Lina reports that she saw Rafael with an older woman the previous night. Jane checks the hotel receipts and realizes Rafael talked to his mother, which might have sent him over the edge. Speaking of being sent over the edge, Jane hallucinates that her most romantic moments urge her to fight for Rafael.

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“Listening to the voices in my head can’t possibly go wrong.”

Jane confronts Rafael, who is surprisingly not freaked out that Jane abused her employee access to check whom he was having dinner with. He tells Jane that yes, dinner with his mom made him more money-oriented, but he still thinks he and Jane are too different to work it out. Jane suggest they go to couples therapy to work out their trust issues. “Speaking of, could you not track my credit card purchases from now on?” asks Rafael.

At Casa Villanueva, Xiomara admits that she cheated on Rogelio to Jane and asks for advice. Jane points out that she is not in the place to offer advice when she is about to pay another woman to tell Jane what’s wrong with her relationship.

Their couples therapist is none other than Toula from My Big Fat Greek Wedding! Okay, her name is Barbara Stanbrook, but we all know it’s Nia Vardalos. Toula asks for a brief history of their relationship, but Rafael and Jane end up telling her about the whole Sin Rostro subplot. “I meant like how you guys met but whatever, I get paid by the hour,” shrugs Toula. Rafael tells her that he worries that they are too different to be together.

“I know what you mean,” says Toula. “I’m Greek, but my husband isn’t. Whoa, now THAT was some drama.” Toula tells Rafael and Jane that they can learn how to compromise but it all ultimately depends on Rafael and if he wants to work on the relationship. Jane is not thrilled with this answer so Toula pulls the “Oops! Out of time!” excuse.

In the Everglades, Roman is making plans to take over Sin Rostro’s empire. Petra seduces him to steal his phone to cover up that there is no real reason for her to have been kidnapped. Seriously, Roman could have just skipped town and not worried about anyone coming after him for kidnapping a pretty blonde white lady.

Jane has to go to her baby shower even though she is still in low spirits, and her mood is not improved when she discovers Lina invited her writer’s group, including Single White Female Writer Andie. Andie begs Jane not to tell Michael about her creepy tendencies, but they are interrupted when Rogelio dedicates a song to his future grandchild. Rogelio sings about how he can’t wait to see his baby’s baby…so his baby’s baby can see him.

Amanda, Jane’s teacher, slaps him and interrupts him mid-song.

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“Your music is bad and you should feel bad!”

However, it turns out that Amanda isn’t slapping Rogelio because she’s offended by his ego; it turns out he slept with her and never called her back. Jane and Xiomara scold him and tell him to apologize. Lina takes Jane aside to ask when her C-section is scheduled, but Jane explains that she is going to have a natural birth. Lina points out that this means Jane’s hymen will be broken by her baby’s head instead of some other dude’s other head. “I didn’t want to think of it like that!” bemoans Jane.

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Susan Velazquez

Susan is a recent college grad and writer who enjoys all things from the 1980s, snarking on dumb television, and reveling in celebrity gossip. Oh, and she has serious interests like reading historical fiction, getting involved in social issues, and consuming French fries.

TV Show: Jane the Virgin

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