Jane the Virgin: Not So Feliz Cumpleaños

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Previously on Jane the Virgin:

  • Jane is mad at Petra because Petra’s long-lost identical twin Anezka has been causing trouble for Jane and Petra is protecting Anezka
  • She really shouldn’t because as it turns out, Anezka is the evil twin in the family. I know, not the twin who cheated on Rafael and stole his sperm twice.
  • Speaking of evil long-lost siblings, Derek is blackmailing Rafael for ownership of the new hotel property.
  • Michael also suspects that Derek is involved with the crime lord Mutter but since he’s no longer a detective, he has called in his former partner Susanna to solve the case
  • Rogelio had his crew build an exact replica of the Villanueva living room for Jane’s wedding

Get it? Got it? No? Too bad. We’re diving headfirst into telenovela land.

Everything’s coming up Jane as Mateo’s first birthday approaches: she booked the Beyonce of children’s entertainers, her wedding plans are all set, her adviser approves of her thesis, and Alba met a vice-president of Simon & Schuster that Jane can talk to about publishing her first book.

Life is so great for Jane! Is it possible that we’ll be able to get through forty-two minutes without any unnecessary drama? Nope, not in telenovela land.

The first wrench in Jane’s Perfect Week (TM) is that Petra doesn’t want to come to Jane’s wedding because she is still mad about their fight on Mother’s Day. Jane goes into Petra’s office and the two have a heart to heart. Petra admits that she was tired of feeling inadequate compared to Jane so she defended Anezka because it looked like Jane might have finally been wrong about something. Jane reminds her that they are not competing over anything so Petra apologizes and agrees to keep Anezka out of Jane’s way from now on.

Meanwhile, Michael attempts to convince Susanna that Derek is working with Mutter and that she needs to open a case against. However, Susanna tells Michael that she has a taken a leave of absence from the Sin Rostro/Mutter case so she can’t help him. Now Rafael is all on his own as he tries to buy time to keep from selling his second hotel to Derek. Jane thinks Rafael should turn himself to the police while Petra is in favor of cooking up a scheme to trap Derek. Both are valid options but Rafael is put in the uncomfortable position of favoring one baby mama over another.

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I wonder how Shawty-Lo balances this act with ten baby mamas.

Rafael takes Jane’s advice to talk to a lawyer and see his options if he turned himself in, much to her satisfaction. Jane’s Perfect Week (TM) gets back on track only to get derailed by two major problems. First, Professor Donaldson tells Jane that while her novel is perfect for a thesis, it’s not ready to show to a publisher. Second, the crew workers on Rogelio’s show want to unionize and will be going on strike on the day of Jane’s wedding.

Jane is torn. On the one hand, she supports the proletariat’s right to organize and fight for better wages but on the other hand….it’s her wedding day and why can’t anything in her life go right, dammit!

Luckily, Rogelio strikes a deal with the crew: if he lasts a week as a crew member, they will postpone their strike until after Jane’s wedding. If he doesn’t, they will strike on time and Rogelio has to be the face of their protest. Meanwhile, Jane will make back up plans for the wedding just in case.

Unfortunately, since she was so busy attending to her wedding, Jane lost out on the Beyonce of children’s entertainers. Alba tries to gently suggest that they keep Mateo’s party small since after all, the kid won’t remember it but Jane is adamant about having the Perfect Week (TM).

Jane finds an alternate entertainer and is excited to tell Rafael but she becomes concerned when she catches him having a closed-door meeting with Petra. Suspicious that Petra is going to convince Rafael to go along with a sneaky plan, Jane invites Rafael to go see the children’s entertainer so she can have alone time to convince him to go to the police. However, Petra shows up and keeps Jane and Rafael from talking.

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“You can’t out-scheme a schemer, honey.”

So Petra’s brilliant plan turns out to be to fake an FBI investigation and record Derek admitting to blackmailing Rafael on tape. Unfortunately, there is construction next door and they don’t get Derek’s confession. Plus, Derek picks up on Rafael acting strange and figures out Rafael is trying to trap him so Rafael is forced to immediately hand over the hotel.

So I think we can all agree that Jane’s Perfect Week has officially fallen apart when Baby Mateo comes down with a fever and has to be hospitalized–on his first birthday. As they wait in the waiting room, Jane and Rafael reminisce about how much Mateo has grown and how their relationship has changed. Rafael realizes (YET AGAIN!) that he is in love with Jane and looks sad as he watches her and Michael together.

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I could have put a screencap of Rafael looking sad but I decided to go with this one of a smiling Mateo. You’re welcome.

Meanwhile, Rogelio finishes his week as a crew member with a newfound appreciation for all the crew members do. Okay, he had a moment where he was about to give up but then Jane encouraged him to keep going so he did. The crew leader agrees to hold off on the strike until after Jane’s wedding, but Rogelio finds out that the network executives plan on firing the whole crew before the strike happens! What will Rogelio choose to support: the wedding of his daughter’s dreams or the livelihoods of some random characters we met this week?

Also, Jane realizes that he romance novel isn’t ready for publication so she reluctantly tells the Simon & Schuster publisher that she isn’t ready to meet. “I just want to dig deeper,” Jane tells Michael about her decision.

The words “dig deeper” lead to an epiphany for Michael: Derek must want the hotel so bad to hide Mutter’s multi-million dollar stash. The police get a warrant to search the hotel’s basement and they are surprised to find a tied up Mutter! Turns out, Derek skipped town with Mutter’s money and is on his way to meet a mysterious boss.

Great. Now we’ve got another drug lord in play. Does anybody care about that plot?

Anyway, Anezka visits Magda in prison and the two are working on a evil scheme together. They are one step closer to their goal as Anezka perfects her Petra impression.

I always knew she was the evil twin.

So let’s review:

  • Derek is apparently working for another bigger, badder drug lord. Yawn.
  • Jane and Michael’s wedding is still on for next week!
  • But Rogelio needs to protect the crew members before they all get fired for striking!
  • As suspected, Anezka is the evil twin and she’s working with Magda for a year on…something

 

Susan Velazquez

Susan is a recent college grad and writer who enjoys all things from the 1980s, snarking on dumb television, and reveling in celebrity gossip. Oh, and she has serious interests like reading historical fiction, getting involved in social issues, and consuming French fries.

TV Show: Jane the Virgin

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