VIDEO: The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)

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Cecil brings us one of the most notorious horror films ever made, The Human Centipede (First Sequence), the tale of a mad scientist who kidnaps three tourists and creates a “human centipede” by stitching together their… well, unless you’ve been living on Mars for the past few years, you already know what this movie’s about. But if you haven’t had the stomach to actually watch it, good news! Cecil is here with a review that in all likelihood will not make you want to vomit all over yourself!

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  • Sillstaw

    I was kind of curious what you thought of the second “Centipede.” Have you seen it? It sounds like it’s much, much worse in every way.

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

      I got the second sequence last week but haven’t had a chance to watch it yet. Hopefully I can check it out this weekend. From what I’ve heard, where the first one left more to the imagination, the second one pretty much shows everything.

      • Sofie Liv

        ew…. good luck with that. I knew there was a reason I didn’t review horror flicks..

        • Cecil_Trachenburg

          Well, this one kind of goes beyond traditional horror flicks. Even still, as messed as it is there is worse out there.

  • Jeff Bradford

    Good luck on that second sequence there… you’re gonna need it.

    • Jeff Bradford

      Oh come on!!! What the hell?! You had me in captivation all the way up until you just completely trashed Tenacious D! Damn man, that’s messed up 😛

      • Cecil_Trachenburg

        Sorry, just not a Jack Black fan. I think the only times he didn’t bother me was Airborne, Be Kind Rewind and Brutal Legend.

        Although I will say that an annoying ex co-worker of mine is largely responsible for my dislike of Tenacious D. (he played them, quoted them, and acted like them constantly)

        • RageKage

          Be Kind Rewind is the only Jack Black movie you can stomach?!
          Great review. all credibility was lost at the last 10 seconds. such a shame. Watch High Fidelity.

          • Cecil_Trachenburg

            Sorry man, I can’t stand Jack Black. (in most things) High Fidelity is in my top 10 worst movies of all time. It enrages me. (although the movie has more problems than just him, its pretentious and unfunny)

          • Jonathan Campbell

            What about Kung Fu Panda 1 and 2?

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

      So I’ve heard. I’ll have to make sure I’m not eating anything at the time.

  • Ed

    Definition of dumbass:

    1. A man who watches this video while trying to eat dinner.
    1a. Me, incidentally you owe me a pizza, Cecil. Good video, though.

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

      lol, I’ve ruined a few dinners/lunches/evenings with this one.

      Glad you still liked it 🙂

  • Mike

    I’m still trying to figure out how the hell he got anybody to produce this.

    And once it was made….how the hell did he get anyone to produce a sequel?

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

      He produced a good chunk of it himself. For the remainder he told investors that he was making a horror film about a doctor who would stitch people together. He left out the whole part about where they were being connected.

      The movie industry will invest wherever money can be made. The first movie was a success so most likely there were multiple investors interested no matter what the subject matter was.

  • AusHaching

    Being from Germany, I cannot get past the part where the car breaks down. You see, the license plate reads “DO”, which means the car is registered in Dortmund. You can look it up, but Dortmund ist a city of about half a million in the middle of the most densely populated region of Germany. The next sizeable (by German standards) forest is probably a hundred miles from there, and you wouldn´t be able to find a region without cell phone coverage in the vicinity. On the other hand, western Germany doesn´t have wolves, which means it is probably safe to go into the woods.

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

      I kind of look at it from the usual suspension of disbelief. I mean, if you want to get technical the hotel the girls were in was in Amsterdam. I’m sure there are plenty of movies where they look like the middle of nowhere when in actuality they aren’t. Smoke and mirrors and all that.

      Now, if they stated specifically that they were in Dortmund, then I would have more of an issue with that. As it stands in the movie, they were in some nondescript location, looking for a club called Bunker.

      No wolves in western Germany? I was not aware of that! I was under the impression that Germany had wolves all over the woods.

      • AusHaching

        Actually, wolves were hunted to extinction in Germany in the 19. and early 20. century. Only after 1990, a few have started to come back from Poland and the Czech Republic. Their presence is limited to the eastern parts of Bavaria and East Germany in general. Probably less than a hundred wolves live in Germany right now – and no bears at all. the most dangerous animal you can find are wild boars, which can be truly dangerous if you happen upon a mother and her piglets.

        In any case, nice review. I know that I´m nitpicking when I mention the license plate, but it still kills my suspension of disbelief (regarding a movie where far stranger things happen, of course).

        • Cecil_Trachenburg

          I really had no idea, that is interesting. I was always under the impression wolves were just common in Germany. Funny you mention Boars, I was just watching Razorback not too long ago. I thought Boars were more of an Australia thing…I do know they are not to be messed with.

          Thanks, glad you liked the show. It’s cool, I know there are some times where I will see things that take me right out of a movie.

  • Hey Cecil,

    Another great review. I’m glad you did this one, because I honestly don’t think I have the nerve to watch it.

    Got a question for you: I just watched the “Omega Cop” review, and you didn’t mention that this is one of the RARE action movies where the hero doesn’t get the girl (or girls in this case.) You didn’t notice that?

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

      Thanks! Glad you are enjoying them. 🙂

      Originally the film was written with one female but the director re-wrote it to have 3 to kind of give it more variety. Lena made some moves on him at the baseball stadium but he kind of brushed them off. I took it as in his mind he was more of a father figure.

      However, you are right it is one of the rare movies where the hero doesn’t get the girl. Good eye!

  • This movie is about as medically accurate as sewing bits of my brain back together with fishing line and then espectin’ be not to bake spelin erors.

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

      lol

      The thing is, it actually is. The doctor who Tom Six worked with while he was writing it said that the operation was totally possible. It would be incredibly hard to find 3 people with matching skin types and they wouldn’t live long after the operation but it is still doable.

  • FullofQuestions1

    Ah, yes, the movie whose trailer made me so nauseous that I was dehydrated by the time I could put anything in my mouth after watching it. I can barely watch the review- it just freaks me out that much.
    And yeah, those chicks are idiots. I still feel sorry for them, but I just have a general rule that I don’t accept drinks from strangers who are not behind a restaurant counter. And I know that they have to follow Rule #412 of horror movies and not have phone reception, but where would that happen in Germany?!

  • Ohh Miss Jones

    The Jenga Boys moment makes this review for me. Never thought I’d laugh or feel joy in relation to this film! (Incidentally, whilst watching the film for the first time my main feelings were boredom and also ‘Wow, the Dr sure has got a wide face.’)