Our Delicate Bottoms Should Only Be Wiped With The Finest Hello Kitty Toilet Paper So Buy It For Us Now
You know how sometimes you have people over, and you want to break out a special something, amirite? The silk sheets, the good towels, and for damn sure the special wedding toilet paper.
…a set of four rolls of toilet paper which look like Hello Kitty and her happy boyfriend Dear Daniel, finally tying the knot. It’s a superb item to give to a friend who’s getting married…
We’re not getting married, but we are your special friends, and you should really prove your love by making sure that we have all the fancy toilet paper we might need. If you’re not feeling the wedding theme because you’re afraid it will give us the wrong message about your loving intentions, buy us the Kiss + Hello Kitty toilet paper instead.
Either way, you know we need pampering, so get on this ASAP.
[You know we’re going to keep doing this until Christmas, right? BUY US SOMETHING.]