This Guy Complaining About His Airbnb Orgy Is Kind Of The Worst

Orgy Napkin

Orgy Napkin

We get it, a XXX Freakshow Airbnb Orgy is no fun when it’s in your swanky pad and you’re not even invited. We would tattle to Gawker and Buzzfeed too! We would yell at errrrrebody. But the guy with the “$67,000” in damages is turning out to be a little bit THE WORST.

First of all, this is his face.

This Guy Complaining About His Airbnb Orgy Is Kind Of The Worst

Second of all, he’s now giving interviews about feeling stalked and creeped out by Airbnb because he posted a tweet with an Airbnb hashtag and then a communications guy from Airbnb responded.

teman tweet

How are you being stalked today, Ari Teman?

You don’t accidentally follow a guy in New York from Ireland and disparage his appearance on a TV show in Australia. There’s no accident there. You don’t accidentally type “boring”, you don’t accidentally select the tweets. You wanna call it monitoring, you wanna call it watching, you wanna call it stalking, it’s creepy, this is just creepy behavior. You wanna watch me and see what I’m up to cause I’m getting press, and then just start disparaging me, this is bullying. This is creepy behavior.

He did not respond in a complimentary manner, sure — he tweeted “Boring” — but it is his job to search for “airbnb” every day on twitter, and when you put “airbnb” IN A HASHTAG, HE WILL SEE IT. He is not “monitoring,” “watching,” or “stalking” you. Twitter Is Public, and hashtags with people’s names in them even more so.

Third of all, you are a comedian, and you have $67,000 worth of stuff to damage? Maybe you do. I am having a hard time imagining that though? For instance, I am a 41-year-old woman with a 41-year-old-woman’s house full of 41-year-old-woman stuff. I own nine tables. (Moving is a BITCH.) I own my fridge and oven and washer/dryer and even my big bitchen bathroom sink. And if The Big One struck Los Angeles tomorrow and destroyed LITERALLY EVERYTHING I OWN, including my gently used Prius, I would probably have to pay $32,497 to replace all my stuff, the car being $23,000 of that. To be fair though, I don’t have any awesome drum sets, and I bought my TVs used on Craigslist, and they are really old.

And finally of all, there is this, which is whence the Orgy Napkin up hails. What is this you are asking? It is Ari Teman explaining how to silver lining up your big XXX freakshow orgy, by the “heirchy of emotions” and a bunch of dumb “entrepreneur” bullshit nonsense stuff. Let’s blockquote!

Teman decided to parlay the experience into a business opportunity, deftly engineering multiple international media appearances that made his story the number-one trending topic on Facebook and ultimately landed him in talks with major Hollywood studios about a movie or TV series deal.

And

The story has now been in 83 print and online publications around the world. Teman also has been a guest on 27 radio shows including Howard Stern and Opie and Anthony, and about a dozen TV shows like Fox’s Good Day NY, CBS’s The Couch, and even news programs in Australia and Israel.

As Teman worked to transform the horrific situation into a media sensation and a potential film deal, two mantras guided him. “I followed two entrepreneurial lessons during this process: If you want to start a business, you have to be prepared for a catastrophe every day and be prepared to turn that catastrophe into an opportunity,” he says. “And as an entrepreneur, luck always shows up, but you can’t let it pass you by.”

Then there’s a bunch of stuff about the amygdala and 12Gurus (his conference company) and checklists “What do I want? What’s in it for them? Am I enough of a douche?” and the Pareto Principle and the viral “sneeze,” and dude stop it, you are making us : (

[Gothamist / Inc.]

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  • gullywompr

    Geez Becca! Exactly what sort of giant orgy aftermath is it going to take to make you happy? Asking for a friend.

  • Jaime Oria

    So he’s spinning “Cool story, bro” into some sort of media whirlwind that culminates in a life-story rights’ sale to a film studio – am I reading his entrepreneurial blather correctly? Didn’t Blake Edwards and Peter Sellers already make The Party?

  • MrBlifil

    Because after all what’s funnier than an entrepreneur/comedian? Besides perhaps an actual comedian.

  • Having been a renter, a landlord and a cooperator, I can’t imagine his “renting out” his apartment via Airbnb was either legal or considerate to the other renters or cooperators or condo-shareholders in his building. Basically, you give a bunch of strangers keys to the front door consider yourself lucky that they only damaged your place.