The Golden Globes are nothing but a liberal plot, and I’ll tell you why!

Golden-Globe-Trophy

Modern Family didn’t get nominated for any Golden Globes, and I like Modern Family. Therefore, the entire awards ceremony—if not the entire awards season—is bullshit. (That’s how the internet works, right?)

Clearly this is all a liberal plot to destroy America. I mean, who cares what the Hollywood Foreign Press thinks anyway?

Hollywood = evil.

Foreign = evil.

Press = evil.

And they get to tell us what we should watch on television!! What happened to the First Amendment? This is what happens in Obama’s America. R.I.P. Freedom, 1776-2014.

Let’s take a look at the dreck these foreigners are trying to push on us.

Best TV series, drama

House of Cards
A Democrat (OF COURSE) is  smarter than everyone else in the world because he’s doesn’t believe in God or morality. The perfect Democrat role model.

The Good Wife
A Democrat (OF COURSE) gets out of prison and goes on to be governor of Illinois, which is EXACTLY BACKWARDS from how it works in reality.

Downton Abbey
A bunch of smug, rich assholes look down on everyone else, which would be fine except they’re foreigners.

Game of Thrones
More foreigners… and of course they kill off the one character with family values.

The Affair
Doesn’t sound like family viewing to me. Does anyone even get Showtime?

Best TV series, musical or comedy

Silicon Valley
As in Silicon Valley, California. How liberal can you get?

Jane the Virgin
The virgin part sounds good, but aren’t they a bunch of Mexicans or something? I don’t know, I’m too old to watch The CW.

Transparent
This is exactly what Michelle Duggar warned us about.

Orange is the New Black
A bunch of women have lesbian sex in prison. Okay, this one sounds pretty good.

Girls
I’ve never seen it but Rush Limbaugh told me it sucks.

Best Actress in a TV series, drama

Claire Danes, Homeland
The less we know about how our country conducts the War on Terror the better. Just remember they’re doing it for our own good and look away.

Viola Davis, How to Get Away with Murder
What is this, another cop show?

Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
If she’s a “good wife,” why isn’t she home with the kids. FALSE ADVERTISING.

Ruth Wilson, The Affair
Is this Tom Hanks’s wife? No? Oh, then screw her.

Robin Wright, House of Cards
Once married to Sean Penn, so of course the liberals have to throw everyone award they can at her.

Best Actor in a TV series, drama

Kevin Spacey, House of Cards
Playing a Democrat? Oh, what a stretch! Give him all the awards!!

Clive Owen, The Knick
Job-stealing foreigner playing an American.

Dominic West, The Affair
Job-stealing foreigner playing an American.

Liev Schreiber, Ray Donovan
Sounds foreign.

James Spader, Blacklist
The Reagan era actor? I guess he’s okay then.

Best Actress in a TV series, musical or comedy

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
One of two actors nominated for playing a Democrat Vice President. Tells you pretty much everything you need to know right there, doesn’t it.

Taylor Schilling, Orange Is the New Black
Looks like a FOX News anchor. I like her.

Lena Dunham, Girls
Not TV pretty. I don’t like her.

Gina Rodriguez, Jane the Virgin
Obviously just trying to keep the Latino vote in Obama’s back pocket.

Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Obviously just trying to boost ObamaCare.

Best TV movie or mini-series

True Detective
Did they not see the last episode?

Fargo
Did they not see the movie?

The Normal Heart
I have no idea what this is.

Olive Kitteridge
Seriously, what is this?

The Missing
Was there nothing anyone had heard of but True Detective and Fargo?

The Golden Globes will be handed out Jan. 11, not that you should care. The hosts, as always, are ultra-liberal feminazi icons Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.

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  • The Normal Heart is about Normal people in the Heart land. You should totally see it. (heh heh heh)

  • Guest

    I am sorry, but Fargo was the best “Not Breaking Bad” series on TV during the past year. It had it all over True Detective. Martin Freeman, Allison Tolman, Colin Hanks and Billy Bob Thornton all turned in superlative performances that just blew past everyone who wasn’t named Bryan Cranston, Aaron Paul or Anna Gunn.