VIDEO: Flesh Gordon Double Feature

Flesh Gordon 2: Flesh Meets the Cosmic Cheerleaders (1989):

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Flesh Gordon (1974):

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This video is no longer available due to the shutdown of Blip.tv.

Brace yourselves, folks, because we’re diving headfirst into the world of the cult sci-fi sex spoof Flesh Gordon, and its much lesser sequel, Flesh Gordon 2: Flesh Meets the Cosmic Cheerleaders. Featuring, amongst other things, laser-shooting nipples, adult babies (oh God…), some awesome stop-motion effects, some terrible acting, a giant gargoyle with the voice of a pickup artist, and a cameo by the Film Brain. Also, the second movie gets reviewed first, and the first movie gets reviewed second. Because it seemed funny at the time.

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  • Muthsarah

    Awesome, I love the hell out that movie.  So cheesy, so out-of-date, yet so gloriousl…..

    Wait….FLESH Gordon?!  Oh no….Liam…no.  The site already has a guy for this kinda stuff.  I thought you were gonna talk about the GOOD one.  I was all set to give you guys credit for embracing a movie my side of the pond were too lame to accept, but, anyway….

    For the record, nobody thinks you’re culturally superior. We’re at least a century past that now.  You have plenty of awesomely witty celebrity types, and sure, you have a small but significant number of legendary TV shows, but, yeah.  To quote one of your proud native sons (sorta): that train has sailed.  And I’m a long-time Anglophile.

    I hope you understand that I only watched the first vid, and that’s only ‘cuz I like you.  A double feature is…a little too much for me.  And seriously, this is just confirming everything that disgusts me about this genre.

    (The captions were funny, I’ll admit)

    And BTW, that wallpaper single-handedly destroys any impression that you could have of being angry.  Nobody could take that wallpaper seriously.

    Love ya all the same.

    • Liam Barrett

      Without sounding like I’m being ungrateful, because I’m happy when anyone watches ANYTHING I make… please watch the second part (the review of the first movie) if you get the chance. I think it’ll surprise you, and I truly believe it’s the episode where my show became GOOD.

      Also, these episodes are old, so don’t worry, soft porn isn’t going to be a thing for me, now that Porn Critic’s there to do a better job covering this kind of stuff anyway.

      • Muthsarah

        The episodes are old?  Are these archive vids I’ve been watching?

        Because you pleaded (and we Yanks do love it when fer’ners are all obsequious), I’ll watch the second vid.  Maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow, but I will watch.  But still.  Pr0n?   Yuk.  You’re better than this.  I know I am.

        *the following is stream-of-conscious, since I’m not in the mood or state to self-edit*

        OK, I just watched it now, ‘cuz I care.  ‘Cuz I’m staying up to record something.  The River, by Renoir, if it matters.  Yeah, all classy and shit.  And I like to do it old school.  No TeeVo or whatever. Gotta kill time somehow.  No offense.  Time is what it is.

        Jack and Malibu Rum?  I won’t comment, but I don’t think I could ever get drunk off that stuff.  Cute how you say you can’t handle drink, and I’m on my tenth beer currently EDIT: eleventh now.

        Reb Brown?  High praise.  If you’re gonna make that claim, you gotta back it up with more primary sources.  Give us more clips.  Love to see these guys try to act.

        OK, the second part WAS a lil’ better than the first.  Or is so far.

        FILM BRAIN!  Oh, as a long-time TGWTG fan, you had me at Film Brain.  His lighting looks suspect, I must say.  Just…how old IS this review?

        Is the Robin Hood a Prince Barin stand-in?  Does he actually matter.  Prolly couldn’t stand up to Dalton.

        Rape jokes = not funny; never funny
        Highly-phallic old-timey robots = funny
        Ragtime soundtrack = always super funny

        Still.  Pr0n.  N0.  I’ll take classic English repression (that I don’t understand on a personal level) over this “sexual liberation”.

        *Netflix’s the original “School for Scoundrels”*

        Maybe more in the morning.  Feel an odd weight on my head currently.

        • Liam Barrett

          Yeah, this is archive stuff from my backlog. It try to alternate between a new episode and a classic one with Agony Booth postings. My next episode will be Superman Returns (new) probably followed by The Master Of Disguise (old).

          It’s a fairly old video, over a year at this point, I think. Mathew’s lighting was actually fine, I just fucked something up in my editing software. For a long time, everything was rendering darker than it should, my footage included.

          • Russell Brin (Facebook sux)

            You are a truly evil bastard to ever bring up the boring lethargic tripe that is Superman Returns.  Even a grandfather clock moves faster than that pile of unholy dung.  Thanks for reminding me that crapfest even exists, Unholy God almightly.

  • Russell Brin (Facebook sux)

    Is the opening sequence of the first Flesh Gordon movie supposed to be a parody of the Hangover?  Cause it was pretty well done.  Also the second movie was pretty brutal, and I agree naming the Asian girl Sushi was going to lead to that terrible joke that made me actually angry, not in a groaning way but in a hockey goon way.

    Flesh Gordon, Busty Cops, and Sailor Moon and the 7 Balls…I see a trend…

    • Liam Barrett

      It wasn’t my intention, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that worked it’s way in there without me realizing. I was doing it mostly to hint at something that will pay off eventually.

    • You just wait, you’ll see a “magical” surprise coming up soonish

      • Russell Brin (Facebook sux)

        If a girl there had been named Taco and the line had been “He’s eating taco” that would’ve been worse because that is horrible English grammar…and just as offensive.

        And now you go and pull the suspense card.  You are like the Riddler, always making everyone wonder what is coming next, because Chess is not a game won in a single move.

  • Sean McLaughlin

    wait isn’t the great god Porno Craig T Nelson?

    • Liam Barrett

      I believe he was, yeah.

  • *watches the beginning of the second review*

    Mr. Plinkett? Is that you?
    This looks like what I imagine what a re-enactment of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas starring Mr. Plinkett would look like. Including the honey and the chicken suit.
     

    • Liam Barrett

      I think compared to anything that would happen to HIM, Cheapus’ breakdown is like a trip to Disneyworld.

  • Mike

    Liam, brilliant as always.

    Now quit hiding under the bed and do the long-awaited Agony Booth video review of……wait for it…..

    ZARDOZ.

    You know you want to.

    • Liam Barrett

      I’m interested in doing Zardoz, but I’m not sure I could say anything new about it. Seriously, within the online review community, it sometimes feels like that film has been covered by EVERYONE.

      For awesome reviews of it that already exist, I heartily recommend both Spoony and Oancitizen’s.

  • Dennis Fischer

    The original serials starring Buster Crabbe were FLASH GORDON, not FLESH, as you mistakenly say in your review.  Much of the stop motion animation in the film was done by an uncredited David Allen. Jim Danforth did matte paintings for the film, and was given the special effects credit as “Mij Htorfnad.” Other famous contributors to the film were Greg Jein (he designed and created the Queen’s Swan spaceship), Bjo Trimble (of Save Star Trek fame) who did the makeup, and then-soon-to-be science fiction writer Tom Reamy as the property master.

    • Liam Barrett

      Yeah, I fucked up the name in the recording. I used it because it was the best take I did, and none of the retakes I recorded could duplicate the energy I wanted. I was hoping I said it fast enough that most people would just assume I slurred a little bit.

  • spiff2268

    So what exactly are the penalties for getting caught with a banned book or movie in Britain?

    • Liam Barrett

      I’m not totally sure. Also I’m not sure if there’d be any penalty for owning Flesh 1, as it was distributed legally.

  • Clifford Tunnell

    So what was that song playing in the background at the beginning of your Flesh 1 review?

    • Liam Barrett

      The song during the Chicken Suit skit: “Life By The Drop,” by Stevie Ray Vaughn.

      The song playing over the review introduction: “The Unforgiven 2,” by Metallica. Yeah, I was trying to be clever.

      • Clifford Tunnell

         Thanks!

  • edharris1178

    Funny reviews, Liam.  Always wondered about these two films and pretty much just knew the first one had great stop-motion f/x.  As far as the second goes, I sort of feel like an H.P. Lovecraft character at the end of the story…really wish I didn’t know what I know now.

    • Liam Barrett

      It’s weird, everything I thought the first one would be, the second one is. It’s almost like a Human Centipede/Human Centipede 2 situation.

  • “A love-letter written in spunk” I gotta remember that one.