The Agony Booth Proposed Bad Movie Lexicon

If you've ever come up with your own name for a hackneyed movie cliché, then you'll immediately understand what the Proposed Bad Movie Lexicon is all about. A thread was started in the Agony Booth Forums a couple of months back where several readers suggested their own ideas on how to refer to some of the most common Bad Movie themes and situations. Here's the list of what everybody came up with. (Note that, for the time being, this is only a proposed lexicon. None of these items have been used in reviews yet, but I suspect that will change in the very near future.)

A special thanks goes out to Agony Booth reader Radar for compiling and formatting this list!

Allure of Evil (submitted by Scooter Atreides): Villains will invariably be given much cooler spaceships/costumes/gizmos than the heroes.

Beatable/Unbeatable Villain (submitted by Klepto Fu Pete): Foe who is for all intents and purposes invincible, yet gets taken out by the hero anyway, simply because he's the hero.

Blaming the Victim (submitted by Albert): When a hero or innocent bystander is blamed and incarcerated for the villain's crimes.

Disposable Girlfriend (submitted by Maximus): Mysterious vanishing of a hero's established love interest between the first movie and the sequel.

Emperor's New Clothes (submitted by Radar): An assertion that is only obvious to the character who mentions it and the film's writer/director.

Friends World (submitted by Maximus): Any movie world with an inexplicably small number of minorities.

Genius/Idiot (submitted by Radar): A sudden drop in IQ of an otherwise intelligent person just because the plot can only advance if he or she acts like a moron.

Ginny Syndrome (submitted by Radar): Reference to a particular skill or knowledge possessed by one of the characters that will be used to save the day in the end. Named after the heroine of Friday the 13th Part 2. ("C'mon, use some of that psychology you're studying!")

Glass Coffee Table Rule (submitted by Albert): If a fight breaks out anywhere in a house that has a glass coffee table, it will end with one of the combatants falling through said table, usually from a great height.

Gloria Steinem Rule (submitted by Scooter Atreides and Ryan): Double standard where women act in a socially unacceptable way and are celebrated for it.

Homing Bullets (submitted by Rabblerouser): No matter what position, nor what kind of cover the enemy has, he's screwed. Yet, when the good guy is in the same position, not even an Atomic Grenade can take him out.

Impromptu Hairbrush Karaoke (submitted by Albert): Any scene where women bond by spontaneously singing or lip-synching to a popular tune, usually from the Aretha Franklin songbook.

Joel Silver-ized (submitted by Albert): An auto collision, no matter how slight, that causes a massive explosion.

Junkion Rule (submitted by TV's Grady): Odd dropping of pop culture references.

Megaforce Missile Rule (submitted by Radar): Mounting of missiles onto odd or illogical objects.

Only Human Stereotypes Are Bad (submitted by Maximus): Sci-fi alien species and fantasy races have cultures so overwhelmingly singular that broad generalizations are usually accurate about individual members. (Vulcans are coldly logical, Psychlos are violent and greedy, Ronsos are proud warriors with bad grammar, etc.)

Outrun the Car Rule (submitted by Dr. Dunkenstein): When people on foot are trying to get away from a car, they must run straight down the middle of the road. They may not run offroad in order to force their pursuers to leave the car to catch them.

Professor-I-Told-You-So (submitted by Scooter Atreides): Rogue scientist who is, in fact, smarter then anyone else in the picture.

Professor Strangelove Principle (submitted by Scooter Atreides): Physical impairment = scientific credibility.

Stuffed Toy Gratuitous Pathos Principle (submitted by Scooter Atreides): Whenever a movie calls for a frenzied mass evacuation scene, expect a shot of an abandoned doll or stuffed animal (teddy bears and bunnies seem to be the most popular, and the more worn and tattered the better) in a laughable attempt at adding "pathos" to the tragic events. In its evacuation sequence, Star Trek: Generations not only shows us a ratty stuffed bunny carelessly abandoned on the deck of the Enterprise, but goes so far as to give us a long shot of the heartbroken little moppet reaching in vain for her beloved Mr. Floppy over the shoulder of the adult carrying her to safety.

Superlimited Ammo (submitted by Ryan): Rare weapon that holds a maximum of five bullets.

We Can't Help You Ma'am Rule (submitted by Inventory the 13th): Any woman being terrorized by a stalker, ex-husband, serial killer, kidnapper, or all-around lout cannot and will not receive any help from anyone in a position of authority.

Whatever Technology (submitted by: Ryan): Unexplained hardware that can do whatever is required by the plot.

Will Sampson Effect (submitted by Radar): Portrayal of all American Indians as natural mystics, healers, hunters, and trackers who usually wear buckskins and beads, and talk like this is their first time out of the teepee. Named for the actor who played an Indian "guide" in such craptastic flicks as Orca and Poltergeist II: The Other Side.

If you have a suggestion for a term to be added to the Proposed Lexicon, discuss it in the forums!

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