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VIDEO: Slob vs. Perv: Epic Rap Battles of Agony Booth History Vol. 1

It’s the Porn Critic vs the Cinema Slob in the world’s very first Agony Booth Rap Battle, brought to you by Mr. Mendo! Who’s the winner? You decide!

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  • Richard Eriksson Hjelm

    Slob for the lyrics themselves and Porn critic for the content of the lyrics

  • MichaelANovelli

    Yeah, I gotta give it to Rick, but the lyrics for both were tight! Because I wrote them!

    • danbreunig

      Mendo (and Slob and Critic), you just proved that fanboy dreams can come true.

      Awesome dream idea: every single reviewer in the Booth gets up and sings one line each of “Face Down Ass Up”!

      • MichaelANovelli

        But, I already know what it’s like to fuck on cocaine…

        And you’ve got to have a dream; if you don’t have a dream, how you gonna have a dream come true?

        • danbreunig

          [sorry, this last message listed twice]

        • danbreunig

          One more for the bucket list, forning on a mass stimulant and all that…

          Sage advice, my man. That idea was brewing in my mind for quite a while, really.

  • $36060516

    When shove turn into push, Dick Bush goes smoosh, crushin’ chair-bound Slobs like wankers yankin’ knobs spurt globs on pictures of their sisters and their moms. The Critic wins hysterically, technically and aesthetically, got the photography I wanna see, no competin’ with his crumpet cam technology. Peace.

  • CaptainCalvinCat

    Well, maybe one could get the Lyrics for the Porn Critic in subtitles, too?

    • MichaelANovelli

      I have such a version. I may put it on YouTube…

      • CaptainCalvinCat

        That would be awesome. I mean, I like porn critics dialect and I understand him *mostly* but… not all of it. And by the way – how was that idea of a rap-battle born?

        • MichaelANovelli

          During one of our many drunken hours at MAGFest!

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            *grinst*
            Sounds like a good place to get drunk. ^^

            I am definitely at the wrong conventions… oh, wait, I don’t drink. ^^

      • MephLord

        You really must hate the Cinema Slob if you want to shame him to a wider audience. Losing a battle rap to a Brit is not good for an American’s reputation.

        Although come to think of it “Straight Up Gangster Trippin'” by William Regal was a pretty good rap so maybe I shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss the talent of the UK.

        • MichaelANovelli

          I would suggest you check out The Streets, Dizzee Rascal, and Lady Sovereign…

          • MephLord

            Except that I don’t like rap as a genre. Give me Vanessa Carlton, Bond or Dragonette any time.

          • I don’t know about Lady Sovereign Mendo. I get a bit of a Kreayshawn/Cher Lloyd vibe from her. I’d also suggest Jamie T and Scroobius Pip as well as The Streets and early Dizzee Rascal. Although even I can concede that America has the UK beat for rap, not on this site though! 🙂

  • Both came hard, I would give Slob the edge on lyrics, Porn the edge on video direction, and put them as equals in the realm of delivery. The Porn Critic half of this video was better directed than a lot of real rap music videos nowadays.

  • Also, I vote Ursa vs Mendo next. Yeah, son.

    • The_Stig

      Then Cecil Trachtenberg vs Dr. Winston O’Boogie.
      or The Fear Fan (is he still around?) vs Joey Tedesco

      Was good, but the beat could have been better.

      • danbreunig

        I still prefer my idea listed here earlier (see below, or above if the comments shifted around).
        I thought that would work (at least in theory) so then everyone here gets a fair shake. (“Why so many votes for Mendo and not enough for Fear Fan, or only these staffers and not those, etc.”) The idea is to include everyone. I doubt that could really ever happen though, just because of how near impossible it would be to get everyone’s sanction or interest, or even to get everyone on the same page–I was impressed that we got a whopping Four Boothers together in one room that one time (Mendo, Slob, Joey, Josh). Oh, so many ideas and not enough realisms. Just lemme dream…

  • Jordan

    I vote Sophie Liv vs The Unusual Suspect

  • slob wins “BIG TIME” no pun intended