The Daily Show Presents College Partying Tips For Guys And Gals (Video)

The Daily Show Presents College Partying Tips For Guys And Gals (Video)Here’s a nifty Daily Show sketch for colleges to file away for new student orientations: following several notorious cases of sexual assault on campus, Jordan Klepper and Jessica Williams offer tips for smart partying — for bros, reminders to not embarrass yourself, and for the ladies, reminders that the bros may very well rape you. Jon Stewart introduces the bit with the story of a case at James Madison University, in which three frat dudes assaulted a woman and videotaped it. Their punishment was to be “expelled upon graduation,” which to Stewart sounded an awful lot like what you might call “graduation.” But they’re also banned from campus, so that’s serious at least: “no alumni tailgating, no reunions, no bringing your kids back to show them where you abused girls.”

The Klepper and Williams sketch is a pointed exercise in contrasts. For the guys, Klepper offers “Party Commandment No. 1: Beer before liquor, never been sicker.” And the Williams, for the gals: “Never lose sight of your drink, ever. Don’t be a doofy, watch out for a roofie.”

And it escalates from there, ending in a reminder to save all your crazy ex-boyfriend’s harassing texts, emails of his junk, and video of him “standing outside your window watching your sleep’ (Damn you, Twilight!). “Just save it all, OK? The college and the cops won’t do anything, but maybe it will help you with your civil suit.” On the other hand, Klepper offers, lamely, “Bros before ho’s.”

It’s a nice play on the “Open Carry Do’s and Dont’s” that The Daily Show brought us a few weeks back, with Klepper (he does get the clueless white male role a lot, doesn’t he?) explaining that you should always explain the purpose of your open-carrying an AR-15 in a restaurant, and Michael Che insisting “when you bring your gun to a restaurant, DON’T be black.”

TV Show: The Daily Show

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  • Greg Comlish

    On the whole, women deal with a lot of shit. Rape. Sexual assault. Legitimate fear of murder by their parters or ex-partners or would-be partners. The incidents themselves are not common but the fear is pervasive. If I walk down the street women will avoid me. I don’t take it personally. It’s not like I’m ever gonna be raped or anything. Sometimes I get shot down. I think I’m graceful about it. Sometimes I’m just honestly trying solicit sexual interest within prevailing Western norms and I make people uncomfortable. I always feel bad when that happens. I try not to blame myself and I do try to learn from my mistakes; it’s not like I fuck up on purpose. People call me a creep sometimes, not usually to my face. I think from the perspective of many women, they deal with a lot of shit and they feel they need to be tough. Most people are reasonable but a small minority can be quite abusive. One girl chatted me up and asked me to buy her a drink. I was being social and gave in. She excused herself. A few minutes later I went to talk to her. She mocked me and told me that her boyfriend would beat the shit out of me if I didn’t leave right now. This big guy got up and approached me. A quick-thinking friend of mine jumped in and explained that his girlfriend had been flirting with me and that we didn’t have beef with him. The guy’s suspicions were redirected back to his girlfriend. My friend really saved my ass that day. The most common place for me to be called a creep is on the internet. If I’m candid about feeling like a reject, there’s generally a Crusader out there who needs to pathologize me, who needs to make it clear that if some women don’t like me it’s obviously because there’s something wrong with me and I need to fix it or never speak to a woman ever again. This is typically followed by a lecture on White Male Privilege and how disgusted they are by my latent narcissistic need for a manic pixie dream girl. I wonder who the Crusader thinks she (and it’s always a she) is talking to? Does she think I’m some frat boy or the Isla Vista killer? Could she imagine that I’m just a moderately successful guy with a decent track record of dating and a touch of aspergers? There are many exceptions in movies and games, but in the real world People regard male losers as apriori dangerous people. Maybe there’s some kind of evolutionary chimpanzee explanation to this. It makes me wonder if losers are actually more dangerous to women than popular guys in terms of violence towards women. Somebody should study that.