New Year's resolutions for our favorite TV/movie characters

2016 was a year filled with many, many lows: Prince, Bowie, Carrie Fisher, Debbie Reynolds, and other favorite celebrities passed away, America as we know it ended, and Jared Leto was the Joker in Suicide Squad.

However, the year was also filled with plenty of highs. The Cubs finally won a world series, the Deadpool movie finally exited development hell and it turned out to be well worth the wait, Stranger Things revived mainstream love for ’80s horror flicks and Winona Ryder, and Rogue One turned out even better than The Force Awakens.

And… that’s all I got. This year was kind of shitty, to be honest.

January 1st is coming soon, but we’re not the only people who can use 2017 as chance to start something new. Our favorite TV and movie characters should use the coming new year to better themselves too. Or at the very least, become less terrible.

To watch, I mean. I don’t care if someone is a good person, so long as they entertain me.

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Character: Alex Danvers

Show/Film: Supergirl

New Year’s resolution: Slow down a little

Alex has had one hell of a year. She finally realized she’s a lesbian, came out to her friends and family, and now is dating a super cool chick. It’s great that Alex is one of the canonically LGBT characters in the DC TV universe, and it’s great they’re going to give her a relatively stable to relationship to be in. And the writers should take the time to have Alex explore this new part of her identity.

As Dr. Winston O’Boogie wrote, “Maggie’s [initial] reasons for not getting involved with Alex are understandable, considering Maggie is a lot more experienced, and she knows a relationship with someone ‘fresh off the boat’ tends to not work out“, but then the show does a 180 and has them quickly get together after a battle between Supergirl and Cyborg Superman because “life’s too short” or something.

The writers don’t have to suddenly introduce a bunch of gay characters to be window dressing in Alex’s life, but as her relationship with Maggie develops, it’d be great if they slow down and examine what it means to come out in your 30s and navigate relationships.

And please, don’t kill either one of them for sake of drama either. Just make them go to IKEA and argue over which nightstand to take home.

 

Character: Emma Swan

Show/Film: Once Upon a Time

New Year’s resolution: Stop being so controlling

Listen, Emma, there’s wouldn’t be a show filled with Disney characters running around and crossing over into each others’ stories and creating plot holes and fan fiction fodder if you weren’t the Savior of it all, so buck up, accept your fate, and just accept that you’re going to die. All of Emma’s attempts to stop her vision of death, whether it’s trying to change fate or flee into an alternate universe, just create more problems and more complications for herself and other characters. Just accept your fate, milk your death scene for all it’s worth and a Teen Choice award, and then sit back and wait for your inevitable resurrection.

Come on: we all know the show isn’t really going to let you die. Who else is going to have sexual tension with Regina/Evil Queen?

 

 

Character: General Leia Organa Solo

Show/Film: Star Wars — Episode VIII

New Year’s resolution: Be respected

Although Carrie Fisher completed all of her work on the upcoming Star Wars film before her death, it’s unclear what General Leia’s fate in the Star Wars universe is going to be. Will she be killed off screen in between Episode VIII and Episode IX? Will she be brought back via CGI technology and holograms? Or will General Leia be sent away to another galaxy far, far away in order to explain her absence?

No matter what happens to General Leia, I think we can all agree that the character deserves a fate worthy of all of the admiration and respect she’s amassed over the years. If Carrie Fisher being gone means General Leia has to go too, I’m fine with it, so long as she gets an epic send-off.

 

Company: DC Comics

Show/Film: Powerless (NBC)

New Year’s resolution: Stop self-sabotaging

DC Comics has always lagged a little behind its rival Marvel, and its attempts to catch up and outdo the Marvel Cinematic Universe with Batman V. Superman and Suicide Squad have only widened the gap. Greg Berlanti’s DC TV-verse is helping DC Comics dominate the superhero silver screen on the CW, but now DC Comics is branching out to NBC for its first in-universe comedy series, PowerlessPowerless is a workplace comedy starring Vanessa Hudgens, Danny Pudi, and Alan Tudyk as office drones at Wayne Security, who try to figure out ways to keep innocent bystanders safe from the collateral damage superheroes cause.

NBC has struggled to find and retain quality comedies since the ending of fan and critical favorites The Office, 30 Rock, and Parks and Recreation, and there already appear to be power struggles on Powerless. Creator Ben Queen departed as showrunner in August, citing creative differences between himself and Warner Bros. TV.

Warner Bros. has a track record of doing too much executive meddling and possibly ruining its projects because of it. Sitcoms are new territory and it’s understandable that executives want to get it right, but they should resist the urge to try to fix things before they’re even broken.

What New Year’s resolution do you want your favorite TV/movie characters to keep?

Susan Velazquez

Susan is a recent college grad and writer who enjoys all things from the 1980s, snarking on dumb television, and reveling in celebrity gossip. Oh, and she has serious interests like reading historical fiction, getting involved in social issues, and consuming French fries.

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  • Greenhornet

    How about Alex Danvers stop being a whiney little fool? Or realize that she apparently works for a tyrannical government; one that’s WORSE than the REAL United States government?

    As for the (YAWN!) gay plot, here’s three lines that should have been the reaction to her “coming out”:

    “And your point is?”
    “Who cares?”.
    “I pay you to work, be queer on your own time!”