Breaking: Church Lady Singers And Rush Limbaugh Did Not Like The Grammys Very Much At All
No, we didn’t think there was this much to say about the Grammys either, but we forgot that culture warriors never sleep. Today’s installment of Grammy Angst is brought to you by conservative Christian recording artists who were shocked, shocked to find that there was homosexxiness and liberalism going on at the Grammys. Let’s check in with the self-righteous, shall we?
Some went, but left early but they really can’t say when, could have been during that whole Satanic gay wedding thing, could have been any time, really.
“We left the Grammys early,” Christian gospel singer Natalie Grant announced via Twitter. “I’ve many thoughts, most of which are probably better left inside my head. But I’ll say this: I’ve never been more honored to sing about Jesus and for Jesus. And I’ve never been more sure of the path I’ve chosen.”
I’ve never been more certain someone was being a terrible passive-aggressive god botherer. Nothing says “I’m keeping my thoughts to myself” like telling everyone about it on Twitter.
Some didn’t go at all, perhaps because all that scantily-clad flesh would have just been too tempting.
Christian singer-songwriter Mandisa won two Grammys for “Best Christian Contemporary Music Album” and “Best Contemporary Christian Music Song”, but she was not in attendance Sunday night. “Both times I have gone to the Grammys I have witnessed performances I wish I could erase from my memory, and yes, I fast forwarded through several performances this year,” the artist explained in a Facebook post. “I knew that submerging myself into an environment that celebrates those things was risky for me at this time.”
“Perhaps being alone with [Jesus] as my name was announced was protecting myself from where my flesh would have tried to drag me had I been up on that stage,” she added.
Gotta hand it to you, Jesus-lady. The image of having your flesh drag you somewhere you weren’t willing to go is a pretty unattractive one, so props for that.
For people that pay no such things nevermind, the goodly Christian folks at Life Site News had a very extensive and detailed list of things they totally didn’t see but are totally sure were made from real actual bits of Satan, like Macklemores White Person Special Fun Time Rap Gay Marriage Jamboree and Katy Perry’s Sexxy WitchyPoo PoleDance Hoedown.
This article also afforded us the great good fortune to hear what Rush Limbaugh thought about the Grammys, because Rush is totally our go-to pop culture guy. Maybe Rush would surprise us here. He’ was pretty down with the Biebs getting arrested for being all high and drag-racing, so maybe he’s loosened up a bit? Haha no.
Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh agreed, quoting McCarron on his show Monday and adding, “It was horrible, it was despicable.” He slammed the awards show for featuring Katy Perry “dressed as a witch and burned at the stake” and criticized Macklemore’s lyrics, which “openly attacked right-wing conservatives and Christians.”
Do people actually really use the word “despicable” without just thinking of Daffy Duck?
We fervently hope this is the last time we will have to write about the 2014 Grammys. Pray4Happy.