Just in time for the remake of Total Recall, we go back to the original. No, not the 1990 movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sharon Stone—we’re going really old school, with a review of the short story “We Can Remember It for You Wholesale” by Philip K. Dick.
The movie is filled with over the top acting, silly dialogue, CGI dragon battles, and Marlon Wayans. It’s often considered one of the worst movies ever made, but Cecil thinks it’s nothing but awesome.
What has: swords, sorcery, and a female lead who wears nothing but sequins and chiffon? The Mummy prequel The Scorpion King, which also handily features Actual Funny™ and lots and lots of half-naked men. She may not love it, but Ursa’s probably not going to be too disappointed in this one.
The kickoff for a trilogy, it stars Andrew Garfield as a journalist who decides to examine a possible connection between the disappearances of three young girls. What he finds is far more sinister than he ever expected. It’s a criminally underrated story of corruption, murder, and steamy sex in 1970s West Yorkshire that’s quite a gripping tale, assuming you can understand what’s being said.
In Legacy Hunting, Sofie is not just reviewing one movie, but exploring the legacy left behind by an important franchise. This time around, she looks at Tintin, the series of comic books about a young reporter and his dog, created by Belgian artist Hergé.
In this episode, Renegado begins a retrospective of the original Spy Kids trilogy. In the first installment, Gregorio (Antonio Banderas) and Ingrid Cortez (Carla Gugino) are international spies that have to be rescued by their kids, who become spies themselves and save their parents from the silly clutches of the evil mastermind Floop (Alan Cumming).
In what could be considered a counterpoint to Mr. Mendo’s own review, Cheapus takes a look at Donnie Darko, which he happily admits has its fair share of problems (EXPLAIN YOURSELF EVERY ONCE AND A WHILE, WHY DON’T YOU), but he believes the film still has much about it to recommend.
Mendo reviews the (forgotten) sequel to the infamous Hobgoblins, and he’s joined by special guest Mikey Insanity, live and in-person. Yes, for once, Mendo’s guest is actually in the same room as him! Isn’t that nice?
The Examined Life (of Gaming) presents an in-depth review of the Max Payne sequel from Rockstar Games. As a huge fan of the Max Payne series, Roland has more than a few things to say about it.
In this episode: Ursa’s Three Rules for Sequels, bad CGI, character development, “The Rock”, and Too. Much. Plot. It’s The Mummy Returns, as we continue our exploration of franchises, sequels, and why we watch them!
The Suspect refuses to review Star Wars Episode I, because what could possibly be left to say about that movie? Instead, he reviews the PlayStation game based on the movie, which is a mixed bag of good ideas and crappy graphics.
Phil Buni watches The Signal, a low budget horror film where all cell phones, TVs, and radios begin broadcasting a mysterious “signal” that turns people into murderous psychopaths. He also looks at the shameless big-budget ripoff: Muppets from Space? Look, just watch the review, maybe it’ll make sense.
First up, Johnny looks into his own future and sees Next, the story of a low-rent Las Vegas magician who can inexplicably see two minutes into the future. Starring Nicolas Cage, Julianne Moore, and Jessica Biel, this is quite possibly the most poorly written movie Johnny’s ever seen.
Sofie (currently without a camera) shares her immediate thoughts about the final movie in Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy.
While everybody else is watching the new Batman movie, Renegado dons a mask and talks about one of the original inspirations for Batman, Zorro!
It’s certainly not a bad movie, but the filmmakers way overcomplicated things, adding pointless political commentary and contrived twists, creating tons of plot holes to annoy Mr. Mendo. Here are his biggest nitpicks!
It’s Ursa’s Five Fave Fings (she’s a trained alliterationist–don’t try this at home) about Batman Begins! And Batman, according to this movie, begins with Morgan Freeman, Liam Neeson, Katie Holmes’ lack of undergarments, themes of idealism and fear, and Christian Bale’s abs.
In this rather half-hearted adventure, Lara must stop a Whatever Artifact from falling into the hands of the dumbest version of the Illuminati ever. A pre-007 Daniel Craig shows up to be her love interest, while also doing a terrible American accent.
It’s Hustler’s porn spoof of Ghostbusters (yes, it’s a spoof… of a comedy) starring Evan Stone as Bill Murray, plus three other guys, busting sex-crazed ghosts and feeling good about it!
Phil Buni joins the site with a found footage horror movie that mocks bad reality TV! It’s basically a better-than-expected Paranormal Activity clone, reviewed by a stoned bunny that really likes talking about people going insane a lot. Features a guest cameo from the Nostalgia Chick that’s super important to the integrity of the review!