Category: TV

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Avatar: The Last Airbender “The Great Divide” (part 3 of 3)

“This episode talks down to the audience at every opportunity, throws in all kinds of gratuitous gags, and only exists to shove a moral down our throats. Even by the time it aired, the show’s audience had learned to expect more than that, and I shudder to think that there were probably more than a few people who had been telling their friends about this great show called Avatar: The Last Airbender that was so much better than any other American cartoon, only to have this be the next episode that aired.”

Avatar: The Last Airbender “The Great Divide” (part 2 of 3)

“This episode talks down to the audience at every opportunity, throws in all kinds of gratuitous gags, and only exists to shove a moral down our throats. Even by the time it aired, the show’s audience had learned to expect more than that, and I shudder to think that there were probably more than a few people who had been telling their friends about this great show called Avatar: The Last Airbender that was so much better than any other American cartoon, only to have this be the next episode that aired.”

Avatar: The Last Airbender “The Great Divide” (part 1 of 3)

“This episode talks down to the audience at every opportunity, throws in all kinds of gratuitous gags, and only exists to shove a moral down our throats. Even by the time it aired, the show’s audience had learned to expect more than that, and I shudder to think that there were probably more than a few people who had been telling their friends about this great show called Avatar: The Last Airbender that was so much better than any other American cartoon, only to have this be the next episode that aired.”

Degrassi Junior High “Eggbert” (part 5 of 5)

“And I know what you parents out there must be thinking: taking care of an egg is a total cakewalk compared to an actual baby, right? How could watching an egg possibly teach you what it’s like to be a parent? But you have to keep in mind that Spike is a Degrassi kid. And taking care of inanimate objects is way beyond most Degrassi kids. I hear when Spike was a little girl, her pet rock died.”

Degrassi Junior High “Eggbert” (part 4 of 5)

“And I know what you parents out there must be thinking: taking care of an egg is a total cakewalk compared to an actual baby, right? How could watching an egg possibly teach you what it’s like to be a parent? But you have to keep in mind that Spike is a Degrassi kid. And taking care of inanimate objects is way beyond most Degrassi kids. I hear when Spike was a little girl, her pet rock died.”

Degrassi Junior High “Eggbert” (part 3 of 5)

“And I know what you parents out there must be thinking: taking care of an egg is a total cakewalk compared to an actual baby, right? How could watching an egg possibly teach you what it’s like to be a parent? But you have to keep in mind that Spike is a Degrassi kid. And taking care of inanimate objects is way beyond most Degrassi kids. I hear when Spike was a little girl, her pet rock died.”

Degrassi Junior High “Eggbert” (part 2 of 5)

“And I know what you parents out there must be thinking: taking care of an egg is a total cakewalk compared to an actual baby, right? How could watching an egg possibly teach you what it’s like to be a parent? But you have to keep in mind that Spike is a Degrassi kid. And taking care of inanimate objects is way beyond most Degrassi kids. I hear when Spike was a little girl, her pet rock died.”

Degrassi Junior High “Eggbert” (part 1 of 5)

“And I know what you parents out there must be thinking: taking care of an egg is a total cakewalk compared to an actual baby, right? How could watching an egg possibly teach you what it’s like to be a parent? But you have to keep in mind that Spike is a Degrassi kid. And taking care of inanimate objects is way beyond most Degrassi kids. I hear when Spike was a little girl, her pet rock died.”

Full House “The House Meets the Mouse (Part II)” (part 3 of 3)

“How do I know this will be an amazing episode? Because dude, they don’t even need to explain what happened in Part I! No ‘Previously On’, no nothing. Why? Because they assume—and rightly so—that Part I’s awesomeness has by now simply integrated itself into your DNA and become a part of your basic humanity. That Part I was so intense, you already intuitively know what it was about, even if you can’t consciously remember much of anything (I think Michelle was kidnapped by ninjas?). That’s how awesome this episode will be.”

Full House “The House Meets the Mouse (Part II)” (part 2 of 3)

“How do I know this will be an amazing episode? Because dude, they don’t even need to explain what happened in Part I! No ‘Previously On’, no nothing. Why? Because they assume—and rightly so—that Part I’s awesomeness has by now simply integrated itself into your DNA and become a part of your basic humanity. That Part I was so intense, you already intuitively know what it was about, even if you can’t consciously remember much of anything (I think Michelle was kidnapped by ninjas?). That’s how awesome this episode will be.”

Full House “The House Meets the Mouse (Part II)” (part 1 of 3)

“How do I know this will be an amazing episode? Because dude, they don’t even need to explain what happened in Part I! No ‘Previously On’, no nothing. Why? Because they assume—and rightly so—that Part I’s awesomeness has by now simply integrated itself into your DNA and become a part of your basic humanity. That Part I was so intense, you already intuitively know what it was about, even if you can’t consciously remember much of anything (I think Michelle was kidnapped by ninjas?). That’s how awesome this episode will be.”

Spider-Man “The Spot” (part 2 of 2)

“Season three contains what just about every fan agrees are the two worst episodes of the series: ‘The Rocket Racer’ and ‘The Spot’. In fact, there was a debate for a while over which was the worse episode. My vote always went to ‘The Spot’, because ‘Rocket Racer’ may have been centered on a dull character and even duller villains, but at least that character wasn’t intensely annoying, and there were no gaping plot holes that I could see instantly, even as a kid.”

Spider-Man “The Spot” (part 1 of 2)

“Season three contains what just about every fan agrees are the two worst episodes of the series: ‘The Rocket Racer’ and ‘The Spot’. In fact, there was a debate for a while over which was the worse episode. My vote always went to ‘The Spot’, because ‘Rocket Racer’ may have been centered on a dull character and even duller villains, but at least that character wasn’t intensely annoying, and there were no gaping plot holes that I could see instantly, even as a kid.”

Baywatch “War of Nerves” (part 3 of 3)

“Sato pitches knives at a newspaper article covering the crime that sent him away. This strikes me as odd. Do criminals actually clip out news items from the low points in their careers? Sometimes I think back to that time I was mugged by a Girl Scout leader/meth-tweaker at a Chuck E. Cheese years back, and I promise you, that newspaper article is not in any of my scrapbooks.”

Baywatch “War of Nerves” (part 2 of 3)

“Sato pitches knives at a newspaper article covering the crime that sent him away. This strikes me as odd. Do criminals actually clip out news items from the low points in their careers? Sometimes I think back to that time I was mugged by a Girl Scout leader/meth-tweaker at a Chuck E. Cheese years back, and I promise you, that newspaper article is not in any of my scrapbooks.”

Baywatch “War of Nerves” (part 1 of 3)

“Sato pitches knives at a newspaper article covering the crime that sent him away. This strikes me as odd. Do criminals actually clip out news items from the low points in their careers? Sometimes I think back to that time I was mugged by a Girl Scout leader/meth-tweaker at a Chuck E. Cheese years back, and I promise you, that newspaper article is not in any of my scrapbooks.”