King Stannis learns the meaning of the word “sacrifice,” one of Arya’s prayers is about to be answered, Jon Snow is down to his last friend, and Dany’s got herself a new ride.
Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name, even if it’s been cancelled for two decades. If reruns aren’t good enough for you, CBS thinks it has the answer… live theater!
Wayward Pines has a nifty jobs plan that pretty much guarantees 100% employment through murder. Also, the schools are REALLY into teaching to the test.
Louis C.K.’s real life resembles South Park
This week on The Bachelorette, the age old question “What’s a clitoris?” finally gets an honest, accurate answer. There’s also sumo wrestling, bleeped penises, blurred penises, temper tantrums, wedgies, and that whole Brokeback Bachelorette fake-out.
Satan himself is coming to FOX… yeah, yeah, you’re making a Rupert Murdoch joke in your head, we know. But no, this Devil is getting his own hour-long dramedy, and you better believe the Christian Right is raising hell.
The zombies are coming! Zombies warriors! Zombie babies! Zombie moms! Soooo many zombies! Oh, and Tyrion finally gets to meet Dany on the other side of the world. But mostly zombies.
A Briefcase Full of Humilation (And Cash)
In week three, Ethan’s wife and kid find themselves sucked into Wayward Pines, but Ethan doesn’t bother to tell them anything that might keep them from getting killed. Shockingly, that plan backfires on him. Before it’s all over, someone is dead and a perfectly good escape attempt is ruined.
The Bachelorette fakes gay romance because, like, two dudes in love? How ridiculous would that be, right? It’s not like that’s a real thing or something.
“It’s great to see at least some aspects of the Superman mythos onscreen not weighted down by angst or failed attempts at achieving Christopher Nolan and/or Frank Miller levels of grimness.”
On Week 2 of The Bachelorette, the competition turns violent. Several of the guys come to blows over Kaitlyn until one sends another to the hospital. Then, the men try their hand at standup comedy. We’ll let you decide which is worse.
Sofie reviews the new Studio Ghibli anime Ronia the Robber’s Daughter, based on the book by Swedish author Astrid Lindgren, which makes her happy to see something from her childhood appearing again and being treated with so much respect.
Sex And the City 2 pretty much killed the franchise dead, and Carrie Bradshaw was condemned to the Fourth Circle of Hell, i.e., high school, for all eternity. Okay, it was just two seasons, but it felt like an eternity. Oh, who am I kidding–I LOVED IT.
Episode Six is waaaaaaay too late for a network show to finally get good, but Allegiance does just that, pretty much immediately after NBC cancelled it. Fortunately, the whole thing is now available on Hulu. Should you watch it? Yes… and here’s why.
This week, Game of Thrones featured many of the good citizens of Westeros attempting to obtain pardons for their sins (and the sins of others) with highly variable rates of success, ranging from Jorah’s violent but hopeless attempt to win back Dany to Gilly’s much appreciated thank you roll in the hay with Sam.
In the second episode of Wayward Pines, Ethan and Beverly fail to escape, but at least they get an awkward and inexplicable dinner invitation out of it. Also, you’ll be totally shocked to learn the sheriff is a bad guy.
The new season of The Bachelorette kicks off with two women competing for the title and no shortage of preposterous douchebags vying for undying love or 15 minutes of fame, whichever comes first.
This week on Game of Thrones, the series’ war on weddings with poor Sansa Stark the latest victim. Also, Arya gets a promotion, Margaery gets a demotion, Bronn and Jamie play dress-up, and Tyrion and Jorah make some new friends with benefits, but, perhaps, not the kind of benefits they were hoping for.
It’s the last Mad Men ever! Who will choose love? Who chooses work? Who chooses family? Who will suck so bad at love and family they have nothing left but work? Okay, yeah, that last one was always going to be Don. Get ready for life-changing decisions and tearful phone calls galore!