An eight-episode compilation of very loosely related stories, each involving some aspect of sex and romantic relationships in the 21st century, which each struck me individually as slyly disguised potential pilots for Netflix than collectively as a debut season of a single, ongoing series.
This week on Once: The Beast tries to win back Belle’s heart by incarcerating her. (Hey, it worked last time!) Snow White learns that she’s a terrible teacher, when the subject is anything other than making a birdhouse. The Evil Queen’s kryptonite is finally revealed. And yet another sort-of villain is given a hasty partial redemption arc before meeting his untimely demise.
This week opens with Casey dreaming. You can tell it’s a dream and not a flashback because even before the weird stuff starts, there’s cowboy polka music playing, which no teen would ever tolerate even to be ironic.
Previously on How to Get Away with Murder: University President Maria LaGuerta is unhappy Annalise got some good PR out of her Perv Client, becaue the university was ready to fire her over the…
I think I’ve figured out why I have such a sweet spot for Chanel #5. No, it’s not because I enjoy the cheap vagina dentata jokes. Although, to be fair, who would have predicted that such an outlandish throwaway line would become a recurring joke?
Budgets will be slashed, regular cast members will be demoted to recurring, network-wide crossovers will happen, and hopefully the series will be allowed to appeal to a hipper, savvier audience of superhero fans as opposed to its previous demo of elderly women watching with their granddaughters.
Here comes the sine qua non of horror tropes: teenage lust. In this case, girl on girl, because that’s now a TV requirement.
Most new shows take a few episodes to really find their footing, and this episode may be where Cop Rock finally started to improve. It never becomes good, mind you, but it generally avoids anything as embarrassing as the musical numbers of the first three episodes.
This week on Once, Cinderella goes POSTAL… for a few seconds. Also this week, Hook and Emma get baby fever. Rumpel makes Belle a mix tape. And the Evil Queen comes up with a nefarious scheme… to perfect her adopted son’s bad posture.
If the point of these numbers is to allow us to get to know the characters in ways that mere spoken dialogue can’t provide, shouldn’t the vast majority of them have been performed by the show’s main cast?
The creepy homeless guy is henceforth referred to as “the schizophrenic”, because priests are such brilliant diagnosticians and there’s nothing offensive about referring to people by their illness because look at all those lepers in the Bible.
Time to check the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Demonic Disorders IV to see if lack of appetite is a symptom. It is!
It’s almost like the makers of this show were daring viewers to change the channel.
This week on Once, a sex-deprived Evil Queen hits on everyone from a newborn baby to herself. Also, the writers kill another sexy male guest star because, apparently, they hate me.
Previously on How to Get Away with Murder: Annalise opened up a pro-bono legal clinic because the university wants to keep her from teaching. You know, considering how badly she screwed up this year’s...
Aaaand then a drum machine kicks in, and the dealers and bystanders all perform a rap song while the cops just smirk and shake their heads like perps breaking out into an impromptu musical number while being arrested is a totally normal thing. Such is the world of Cop Rock, producer Steven Bochco’s ill-fated 1990 attempt to fuse the police drama and musical genres.
Welcome to Ryan Murphy’s Scream Queens, where killers get away with murder and not in a fun, twisty How to Get Away with Murder kind of way, but because everyone is so stupid and willfully obtuse that it makes you wonder how there’s not a Purge-type scenario happening 24/7.
Narcos is back with a different showrunner, one who seems to be trying to dismantle a lot of what came before—even stuff that worked.
RIP Frank’s Beard. Services will be held at the truck stop bathroom where the beard clippings now lay. In lieu of flowers, please bring a broom and dustpan.