“Here are the five books I think DC is going to struggle with. Quite a few of them I actually want to see succeed, but even I’ll admit they have an uphill battle ahead of them.”
This week on Game of Thrones, Dany feeds her dragon kids a gourmet lunch. Greyworm lives to be ball-less another day. Jon Snow grows a pair. Sansa comes to terms with just how badly her life sucks. Tyrion grudgingly acknowledges the perks of being held hostage.
It’s the second to last episode of the season! While hunting for Eddie, who’s been kidnapped by Harrison, Joe manages to get himself kidnapped, not by Harrison but by a 2,000-lbs. psychic gorilla.
“It would appear Mirror Universe episodes really need at least a couple of the regular universe characters to cross over, to counterbalance all the cartoonish evil on display.”
Season finale time! Jane goes into labor while her mom kinda sorta accidentally gets married, and the evil drug kingpin Sin Rostro finally makes herself relevant to the whole pregnancy plotline.
The season finale of Arrow is just around the corner, but first: Oliver heads back to Starling City to murder Nyssa, Team Arrow learns to let go, and Black Canary tries out her new toy.
“The moral of the story appears to be clear: God may not be dead, but if you’re not a Christian, you soon will be, and He’ll make sure you have the most horrible, painful death possible.”
This week on Once Upon a Time’s dramatic two-part season finale, the Author proved himself to be the crappiest alt-world fanfiction writer ever. Snow White got a new, even worse haircut. (Yes, it is possible!) A few people died, then un-died. A long-awaited “I love you” was exchanged. Old Dirty Homeless-Looking Mickey remained Old Dirty and Homeless-Looking, then died and stayed dead. And Storybrooke got both a new Author and a brand new Lord Assholes.
“But it is kind of sad that, even in an Elseworlds title, Bruce Wayne will always have WASP features when, in many ways, Batman would make a lot of sense as a black man.”
“Both Maggie and Schwarzenegger’s performance show potential, even as their novice missteps prevent them from fulfilling it.”
It’s the third to last Mad Men: Joan gets a new partner and makes Hobart an offer. Roger and Peggy share a special moment and both display hidden talents. Don goes on a road trip and encounters someone from his past.
“And maybe I’m too jaded by Mirror Universe episodes by now, but I’m not at all surprised they blew up the Enterprise, on a show called Enterprise.”
“At what point does going through the motions of capturing the Joker again and again while knowing he’ll escape to kill dozens or hundreds more become so ludicrous that it defies disbelief?”
So no one told Jane life was going to be this way: her love life’s a joke, her novel is DOA, and she has a high school reunion to go to.
GAME OF THRONES: Population Control
“Unlike A Beautiful Mind, at least The Theory of Everything can admit that the husband and wife at the center of its story eventually got a divorce.”
Just in time for Mother’s Day, Once has gone and delivered us an hour filled with mother/daughter reunions, mother/daughter reconciliations, mother/daughter bonding sessions, and a fire-breathing dragon who burns people’s faces off . . . You know, the usual . . .
Dance Moms is awful. Yes, Abby Lee Miller is the worst. Yes, I know all that drama is scripted. Yes, it’s awful that talented little girls are being exploited by producers. But I really really like Dance Moms, you guys.
Barry sets a trap for Harrison while Joe tries to live Iris’s life for her, which is totally a dick move, but we’re really more worried about the whole Harrison thing, what with him secretly being a supervillain and all.
“The movie also made me think about how much I would sacrifice for my own child, and the feelings of hopelessness that would arise from not being able to do everything I want for my family.”