Category: Text

Game of Thrones: Battle Scars

This week on Game of Thrones, Dany feeds her dragon kids a gourmet lunch. Greyworm lives to be ball-less another day. Jon Snow grows a pair. Sansa comes to terms with just how badly her life sucks. Tyrion grudgingly acknowledges the perks of being held hostage.

Once Upon a Time: Lord of the Assholes

This week on Once Upon a Time’s dramatic two-part season finale, the Author proved himself to be the crappiest alt-world fanfiction writer ever. Snow White got a new, even worse haircut. (Yes, it is possible!) A few people died, then un-died. A long-awaited “I love you” was exchanged. Old Dirty Homeless-Looking Mickey remained Old Dirty and Homeless-Looking, then died and stayed dead. And Storybrooke got both a new Author and a brand new Lord Assholes.

Why Batman will never be black

“But it is kind of sad that, even in an Elseworlds title, Bruce Wayne will always have WASP features when, in many ways, Batman would make a lot of sense as a black man.”

Mad Men: Desperado

It’s the third to last Mad Men: Joan gets a new partner and makes Hobart an offer. Roger and Peggy share a special moment and both display hidden talents. Don goes on a road trip and encounters someone from his past.

Once Upon a Time: Mother EFFER!

Just in time for Mother’s Day, Once has gone and delivered us an hour filled with mother/daughter reunions, mother/daughter reconciliations, mother/daughter bonding sessions, and a fire-breathing dragon who burns people’s faces off . . . You know, the usual . . .

My Guilty Pleasure: Dance Moms

Dance Moms is awful. Yes, Abby Lee Miller is the worst. Yes, I know all that drama is scripted. Yes, it’s awful that talented little girls are being exploited by producers. But I really really like Dance Moms, you guys.

The Flash: Once Upon a Dream

Barry sets a trap for Harrison while Joe tries to live Iris’s life for her, which is totally a dick move, but we’re really more worried about the whole Harrison thing, what with him secretly being a supervillain and all.