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Hit or Bomb? January 2017 movie predictions

January is upon us, which as we all know is the time of year reserved for that curious mix of Oscar bait finally going wide, obvious duds that got pushed back from summertime/holiday releases, and the rare diamond in the rough taking advantage of a total lack of competition. In other words, expect Rogue One to dominate the box office for the foreseeable future.

New Year's resolutions for our favorite TV/movie characters

January 1st is coming soon, but we’re not the only people who can use 2017 as chance to start something new. Our favorite TV and movie characters should use the coming new year to better themselves too. Or at the very least, become less terrible. …To watch, I mean. I don’t care if someone is a good person, so long as they entertain me.

#ThrowbackReviews: 17 year old me on "Alien Visitation Films"

Because it’s the holidays and a slow time of year around these parts, I figured I’d have a little fun and take a break from contemplating the Grim Reaper’s current mass celebrity killing spree and post this term paper I wrote back in college. Yes, even before this blog existed, and in fact before any blog existed, and even before the internet, I was writing long-winded essays about movies.

Scream Queens: The Swamp Thing

Once again, the Green Meanie tries to attack poor me for no other reason than the fact that I happen to work at a hospital that was the site of some medical negligence in the ’80s. And that I deep fried Nurse Awful’s sister’s face or something.

The 5th Wave (2016)

Feeling like the end of days is coming? Or perhaps you’re just hoping they are? If so, you might enjoy The 5th Wave, which takes viewers on a post-apocalyptic trip involving aliens, child soldiers, and teenage love triangles.

The Exorcist: And now the time has come

Welcome to the series finale (looks like, maybe, unless there’s divine intervention or an email campaign) of The Exorcist – a television show that despite being very prettily filmed and classy, never grabbed a big enough audience. We might autopsy it later, but for now the recap.

The kinship between Jaws and Taxi Driver

So on the one hand, these two movies, which were released within less than a year of each other, couldn’t be more different. But given that both were released in the middle of the American Film Renaissance of the 1970s, it can be argued that there’s a kinship of sorts between these two classics.

Scream Queens: It's not easy being a Green Meanie

Nurse Awful (and I mean “awful”, not Hoffel) is making the Chanels and I work the creepy late shift at the hospital. And where is Zayday during all of this? Kidnapped by the serial killer of the season AGAIN. Seriously, that girl will do anything to get out of doing any real work around here.

The Exorcist: Dark Angela

We shouldn’t have to wait until the penultimate episode for the fun to begin, but sometimes a series has to find its groove. Chapter 9 aka 162 is the scariest, most action packed, enjoyable, and surprising episode of The Exorcist so far.

Does Star Wars really need the Jedi?

The prospect of watching Rogue One—apparently the very first Star Wars film without any Jedi or Force-sensitives among its main characters—becomes all the more exciting. How will the protagonists solve their problems without the help of Force powers? More importantly, how could the absence of any Jedi in a Star Wars film affect the series’ good-versus-evil narrative?

Movies that Predicted Trump: Bob Roberts (1992)

Bob Roberts is a film that could never be made today. This is the kind of stock phrase you see applied to anything made more than a decade ago, usually as a segue into a rant about how much more sensitive our modern society is. Whether this is an indictment of modernity or lambasting an ignorant past is up to whoever’s writing the article, but that’s not the reason Bob Roberts could never be made today…