It’s the motherload of telenovela tropes! Babies being born, hostages being held, a long-lost brother revealed, dramatic heart to heart conversations about love and sex and…accusations of plagiarism? Jane the Virgin runs down every big telenovela trope as Petra finally gives birth.
This non-comedy gets a suitable non-ending as all the plot threads we’ve been following for six months devolve into a terrible musical number and the strangest closing credits in history.
Jimmy gets slammed at work. Mike gets slammed in front of a restaurant. Kim gets sent to a dungeon. And Chuck has a relapse. Not the best week for anyone.
Welcome back to Quantico — back to constant time shifts to keep us from noticing that for every two minutes of action there’s fifty minutes of nothing, but who cares when everyone is so pretty and there’s always a locker room and/or wrestling scene?
Once is back for its 100th episode, and all your favorite characters from seasons past have returned. Well, at least the ones that couldn’t manage to find a better job in the last five years. It’s the Underworld, baby. Sometimes the Road to Hell is paved with unemployment.
It’s the last episode ever of Downton Abbey! Will we go out on a note of death and disaster? Nope, it’s happy endings all around, even for the undeserving.
Wes continues to investigate his mother’s death, Annalise negotiates a plea deal, Laurel and Frank remain broken up, and the ANTLs keep their eye out for Creepy Philip. If everybody just talked about their problems, there would be a lot less unnecessary flashbacks and double crossing. But hey, it wouldn’t be “How To Get Away With Murder” now would it?
It’s new Supergirl vs. old Supergirl as Laura Vandervoort guest stars as an evil blue alien who is definitely not Mystique. Also, if you’re interested in not becoming a supervillain, stay the heck away from Winn; he’s a bit of a bad-luck charm.
Jupiter finally meets the main villain of the film, and it feels like a complete afterthought. But on the plus side, somebody in this movie will win an “award” for his acting.
Everyone on “Jane Virgin” is wrapped in their own little bubble. Jane is so in love with Michael that she can’t see Rafael is hurt. Xiomara can’t see Rogelio is still hoping she’ll change her mind about kids while Rogelio doesn’t notice that there is something strange about his new assistant. Time to burst those bubbles, “Jane” cast!
Jimmy is put in charge of outreach, and a miraculously recovered Chuck isn’t sure his little brother is up to the job.
“Roger Ebert would often espouse the notion that there are no good movies featuring hot air balloons. I’d like to think he was watching Skidoo at the time he formulated this theory.”
This week, “How to Get Away with Murder” is renamed “How To Stop Someone From Getting Away with Blackmail”. The ANTLs gather to deal with Creepy Phillip’s blackmail video. Meanwhile, Wes and Laurel take a trip to Ohio and learn some troubling information. With the help of flashbacks, of course.
Supergirl gets a new rival at work, faces another bottom-tier Superman villain, and this show again proves it understands the Superman Family way better than the DC movies.
“With the abrupt ending of the first film, most had hoped the second entry would provide all the answers we never got. Instead, the previous film now makes even less sense.”
It’s the cliffhanger finale of The X-Files, and it looks like the world-saving may fall on Scully’s shoulders. How does she do it? With SCIENCE and a little help from Einstein and Miller.
This week on Better Call Saul, Mike and Jimmy both have surprise visitors at work, and Jimmy helps Mike with a problem.
“Honestly, after the opening credits, I was expecting a lot less subtlety both in plot and visuals, like everyone would be walking around wearing aluminum cowboy hats or something.”
Jane goes on a date with the hunky Professor Chavez, Xiomara contemplates freezing her eggs to make Rogelio happy, Michael makes one last play to catch Sin Rostro and Mutter. In telenovela land, you better use what you got if you want to gain everything. Or in Jane’s case, lose something very important.
Is Mary Crawley worse than Hitler? What about Lex Luthor? Or Dick Cheney? Maybe she’s not as bad as any of them, but she’s still probably the worst sister ever.