Category: Text

Pan (2015)

Peter Pan begins, but with a friendly Captain Hook, Rooney Mara as an Indian, and songs by Nirvana and the Ramones, you’ll understand the original story even less once you watch the prequel.

Jane the Virgin: Family Matters...and Curses

Pablo, Alba’s first love, is back in town and is spreading bad luck wherever he goes. Jane’s future in laws declare they hate her, Rogelio is still kidnapped, Petra doesn’t want to bond with her babies, and Rafael’s half brother Derek is being mysterious. Wait, those things can’t all be because of one man’s curse? In telenoveland, they can be.

Quantico: Oh Deer! (S1 E14 Recap)

In the aftermath of Vasquez’ untimely death, Alex goes to visit the one person she’s sure she can trust, and he tries to shoot her. But they’re still besties because in a show where you’re pretty sure your twin is a terrorist, anything goes.

Once Upon a Time: Knocked Up! (S5: Ep 14 Recap)

This week on Once: a daring rescue goes awry; a reunion between old lovers reminds us just how incestuous this show actually is; Regina gets a new job as a horse whisperer; and a female character’s “secret” pregnancy is revealed by looking at her husband’s balls.

How to Get Away With Murder: Daddy Issues

It’s the season finale of How to Get Away With Murder! Annalise must confront some family drama when she returns home to avoid responsibilities. Meanwhile, the ANTLS freak out and wait for Annalise to save the day. Flashbacks give insight into Frank’s role into Annalise’s accident. Cicely Tyson guest stars.

5 lies anime taught me

“No matter what Yu-Gi-Oh tries to push, believing in yourself isn’t enough. Beg pardon, Inuyasha, but you can’t just swing Tessaiga around like a drunken baseball player. Hey, Naruto, sometimes you have to do more than say ‘believe it’ and punch.”

Jane the Virgin: Hitting the Motherlode

It’s the motherload of telenovela tropes! Babies being born, hostages being held, a long-lost brother revealed, dramatic heart to heart conversations about love and sex and…accusations of plagiarism? Jane the Virgin runs down every big telenovela trope as Petra finally gives birth.

Quantico: Everyone Hates Alex (S1 E12 Recap)

Welcome back to Quantico — back to constant time shifts to keep us from noticing that for every two minutes of action there’s fifty minutes of nothing, but who cares when everyone is so pretty and there’s always a locker room and/or wrestling scene?